Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Learning

I think the process of learning something new...especially learning to read... is such an exciting one and really enjoy as my children develop new skills. I sometimes feel guilty but I've felt very little sadness about having my children start school. Partly, I think, it is because I work and I'm not home with them during the day. But partly, I think, it is because I always loved school and I find each new school year so exciting...a chance for new opportunities to learn and grow, meet new people, make new friends, learn from a new teacher (or for me to learn from new students). This process was never sad for me as a child...and only a little bit scary...and I take my own positive feelings about school into my parenting. I think it is wonderful that my children will have a chance to learn things from other adults and develop relationships with other adults who can also become role models for them.

I get a pretty good idea about what they are learning from talking to them, watching them as they do homework and listening to them read. I get a very good idea about how their teachers teach and what they say and do by watching my children play school...which is a favorite activity around our house. And I am amazed on a regular basis how much they pick up.

Two quick examples: 2 weeks ago I picked the girls up from after school program and Michelle spent nearly the entire 30 minute car ride telling me all about the history of the flag. She remembered so many details about the flag that I was quite impressed. She was excited about it too, asking me several times, "Did you know...?"

Last night, Ella was reading to me. Her teacher has obviously talked about reading fluently (as she uses that word a lot) and modeled paying attention to the punctuation and using expression as you read. Last night as she was reading, when she saw a sentence with an exclamation point, she would read it loudly, excitedly and sometimes would even be jumping up and down as if shouting hooray about the sentence. She is applying what she is learning. She must also have learned a little about compound words ...or just figured it out on her own, because she pointed several out...I told her they were compound words and for the rest of the time she was reading she would shout excitedly "compound word!" every time she found one.

Even as an adult I find learning new things to be an exciting process and hope that I can help (along with their wonderful teachers) to instill this love of learning in my children.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Stake Conference

We were so richly blessed to have Elder Tate of the Seventy and Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve attend our stake conference this weekend. I went to the Saturday evening meeting for adults as well as the Sunday morning general session and they were both wonderful.

Michelle's favorite part was listening to our Stake President, President Isaacs. He told about going to a very expensive mall in another state and seeing many people who were obviously not living the gospel. A man in a wheelchair with both legs amputated locked eyes with him, asking with his eyes if he had anything of value to share. He held a sign that said, "Even a smile would help." President Isaacs spoke about what he did have of value to share...something the man was not prepared for...a testimony of the Savior and His Atonement. President Isaacs then spoke about how we need to be valiant in our testimony and follow the Savior in faith, enduring to the end. We need to repent, daily. He shared an experience of President Kimball's where a young man had sinned greatly. President Kimball told him to get up the next morning and pray that Heavenly Father would help him to be clean that day and then go to school and work and do all in his power to stay clean. Then that night to give thanks to Heavenly Father for helping him and to ask for forgiveness for anything he had done. And to just keep doing that each day. Then he could have the life that he wanted.

Ella liked knowing that an Apostle was there. We also talked about Elder Tate's talk today where he spoke about the 3 D's. Decisions determine destiny. Elder Tate challenged us to read the Book of Mormon between now and the end of the year, a challenge that our Bishop also issued to us a couple of months ago. I don't know if I'll make it with my children, but I'm trying to make it on my own, at least. It's much slower going with my girls, but I've decided that's okay. I'd rather go slower and make sure they understand and are learning. Elder Tate also challenged us to go to the Bible Dictionary and look at the Harmony of the Gospels. Then he challenged us to read of the Savior's last week of life before General Conference. He said that we live in a difficult time, a time of many challenges and dangers, but if we want to know how to live in a time of stress and challenge, then there would be no better example of how to do that than the Savior in His last week.

Elder Ballard spoke about serving others as did President Peterson of our Stake Presidency. Elder Ballard shared an experience when he was a young bishop and he was quite close to an older woman in the ward who lived with her daughter. One night he'd been doing interviews and when he finally finished, he felt prompted to stop by and visit this woman. He looked at his watch, saw that it was nearly 10 PM and decided it was too late. He didn't sleep well that night and at 7 AM the next morning, he went to their home. The daughter answered and had been crying. Her mother had died a couple of hours before. Elder Ballard promised the Lord then that he would try to do better to heed the promptings of the spirit. He shared times when he had been able to serve by heeding the promptings of the spirit.

Last night Elder Ballard spoke about the temple and its purpose...to bind families together from generation to generation. President and Sister Bateman of the temple presidency also spoke of the blessings of the temple. Both yesterday and today we were counseled to cleave together as families and as spouses. To attend the temple regularly to strengthen our families against the temptations of the adversary.

For me, the talk that spoke to me the very most was Elder Tate's last night. He spoke about strengthening our families and strengthening and blessing the lives of others around us. He shared a story of a 14 year old boy that had begun making bad choices. The mother and father were beside themselves with worry and tried many things unsuccessfully. The mother prayed and felt prompted to tell her son that she loved him. She didn't feel like she even liked him or that it would work but the prompting continued. So she did. Every night, after her son was asleep, she would tiptoe into his room and kneel by his bed and tell him she loved him and stroke his hair. After awhile, he began changing, finding new friends and going back to church. Eventually, he served a mission. After he came home, his mother was talking to another ward member that was experiencing similar things with her daughter and the first mother said that she'd outgrow it and those things would work themselves out. Her son interrupted and said that's not how it worked at all. He said that all those nights when she thought he was asleep, he hadn't been. It was her love...her expressing her love, that had led him to change. Elder Tate said that all around us are those that need to feel of our love and our kindness. Especially, of course, our children and spouses. But also our neighbors, those we work with, and those we come in contact with. Someone said that the world has become so dark that it seems normal and we don't expect light. But we can be that light for others. As I listened, I had a renewed desired to do a better job of teaching my children the gospel, praying more fervently for them and doing more to protect them from the evils of the world. I also, though, felt very prompted that there are children in my class at school that don't feel loved and that by loving and teaching them, I can also bring more light into their lives and help them see that they are special and worthy.

I can't remember who said it...perhaps Elder Tate? but one of the speakers also said that the women of the church are so important, so special. Satan would have us believe that we are not good enough, that we don't do enough, that we are not important. But this is a lie and we are important and need to remember who we are.

Such a wonderful conference. I'm so grateful for the gospel and for the spirit I felt this weekend. I feel better able to go forward with faith and to love and serve those who I have a responsibility towards...in my calling, in my family, and at work. I am far from perfect but I give thanks for my Savior's example and Atonement so that I can be with my family forever. I'm grateful for the knowledge that "I am a child of God" and that He loves me and is aware of me and my challenges. I agree with President Isaacs' statement that he loves his wife, but that she'll tell you that when he is diligently serving the Lord and living the gospel that he loves her better and is more kind, patient, and slower to anger. That is true for me as a spouse and a parent.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Parenting

I have just read a book that has helped me so much as a parent. It is called Parenting the Ephraim's Child: Characteristics, capabilities, and challenges of children who are intensely MORE by Deborah Talmadge and Jaime Theler. It is written from an LDS perspective.

I love my children and I am so grateful for them. I have one child, however, who is so sensitive and who still regularly has meltdowns despite the fact that she is long past the terrible twos. I have tried many things with some success but haven't felt like anything has worked especially well. I often get frustrated and even angry with her and with myself. After all, I'm a teacher and have worked with many, many children and yet have found myself being fairly unsuccessful with her...and have felt that it often hurt our relationship.

I don't know that this child would really be considered an Ephraim's child. They talk about the tribe of Ephraim and how many of us in the latter-days are descended from this tribe. Ephraim's children have 4 characteristics (persistence, difficulty with adaptability, awareness and sensitivity) and may have high activity levels, high intelligence, a great desire for control, and a strong desire for independence. I don't know that my daughter has all of these characteristics, but she is certainly aware and has high sensitivity.

Here are a few of the things that have helped me. First, they explain that each of these characteristics have both positive and negative parts. They talk about viewing and labeling these things as strengths rather than as challenges...even though they do present challenges. But each of these characteristics can be used to become a stronger person, a more faithful member of the church, a contributor to society. In addition, how we think about things strongly influences how we feel and act...if we think of our child's qualities as being bad, we are going to have more negative reactions than if we view them as strengths. So instead of thinking of and calling my child sensitive (or touchy or emotional), refer to her as tender-hearted or sympathetic. And view this sensitivity as a way to help her become more charitable. A child who is in tune with his or her emotions as well as the emotions of everyone around them is more likely to be empathetic, to recognize others' needs and be able to serve others, especially if they are taught to channel their emotions for good. (Note: This chapter was about both physical and emotional sensitivity and at first, I thought my child only displayed emotional sensitivity...but as I read, suddenly a multitude of memories popped in my head of certain clothes she won't wear because they are scratchy/itchy/uncomfortable and other sensory inputs that bother her that don't bother my other two. I never connected the two or recognized that she probably really is more bothered and tuned in to both physical and emotional sensory input.)

The chapter on sensitivity also provided some suggestions on helping prevent emotional meltdowns and on dealing with them. It especially says to watch to see what the triggers are and try to prevent them. For example, my child is much more likely to become overly emotional when she is tired (as am I). So it's important to make sure she has a bedtime routine and gets enough sleep. Also, she is very tuned in to my emotions, so when I'm upset or frazzled or frustrated, she is much more likely to become upset... right when I'm least emotionally prepared to deal with it. So I need to do my best to calm myself before interacting with her. They also caution to make sure you are dealing with the root of the problem and not just the outward behavior. So when she gets upset, find out why. That's not always possible if she becomes overly upset and melts down...until later. I'm slowly learning that with her, I need to calmly stay next to her and talk softly while gently rubbing her back or singing to her quietly. Then as she begins to calm down, I have her take some deep breaths and then I talk her through visualizing something happy. Then when she is calm we can talk about why she got upset and how to better deal with it. I've tried time outs and they just make her more upset. I've yelled at her and tried to pick her up and move her. I've grounded her. I've ignored her outbursts. I've tried most of the other discipline techniques out there. None of them have been successful. And they've made me so frustrated. I don't think this is going to be like a magic pill and her melt downs will stop...but it has equipped me with the strategies to deal with them. It's also helped me feel much more positive about my child and about myself as her parent. I love her so much, but I have worried about her strong emotions. That worry hasn't completely gone away, but I'm focussing now on how her emotions help her to be a kind, more Christlike person. She really is very kind to others and feels so sad when anyone gets hurt or is sad. I can use that to help her develop charity.

The book has lots of ideas that I already use... giving choices about small things so that your child has some feelings of control (do you want your pink pajamas or your yellow nightgown, do you want to eat an apple or plum for lunch), giving warnings about transitions (we have to leave in 5 minutes), establishing a routine for the day and a routine for bedtime, only giving 1 or 2 directions at a time (put your shoes on and grab your backpack), and letting my children do things for themselves when they are able. I also liked that they pointed out that the root of discipline is disciple...we are trying to help our children become disciples of Christ and our discipline should come from love and the desire to help them become more righteous. Punishment often comes from anger and is not often meant to teach.

Amazingly, in addition to helping me understand my daughter better, there were also parts of this book that helped me understand myself better...as a parent and a child.

I am not perfect at this but it's helping. This is probably a book I should reread every couple of years. It is helping me become a better, more Christlike parent and to see my child more like Heavenly Father sees her. And while I read this to benefit one child, in particular, it gave me insights into my other two children as well.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Bountiful Baskets

So I've been participating in the Bountiful Baskets coop with my friend Carin for a month now. My friend Stacie has been doing it for a year or more and loves it. I have been loving it! We get a ton of fruits and vegetables each week for just $15. I think it's definitely saving me a lot on groceries and we're eating some great fruit. I was a little worried that we'd get foods that we wouldn't eat, but so far the only unusual thing we've had was figs. I thought I hated figs, but I just tried one a few minutes ago and it was pretty good. I can't use up the lettuce quite as fast as I get it..and usually I have a few pieces of fruit left on Saturday morning when I go pick up the new basket.

Today we got 5 yams, 1 head of lettuce, 1 bunch of spinach, a head of cauliflower, 5 peaches, lots of bananas, a bag of grapes, a carton of about 6 or 7 figs, a bunch of pears and a bunch of plums.

I also bought the 9 grain bread a few weeks ago and it is delicious!

It really turns out to be almost the perfect amount of fruits and veggies...although most weeks I do buy a few extras at the store...to add to salads or for specific meals...this week I'm not planning to go to the store at all, except perhaps for a gallon of milk.

Here's photos of the first week's basket:


Friday, September 9, 2011

Second Grade

I have such a great class this year! I am really enjoying it so far this year. :) And they seem to be enjoying it too... I don't think I've ever had so many kids hug me...sometimes right in the middle of the day. It's caught me off guard a few times.

Now that I'm back to work, I'm also back to posting on my second grade blog... probably a lot more this year than last. Check it out if you want some ideas that you can steal and use at home with your own kids. :)

It is Sensational Second.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Quote I love

"Charm is the ability to make someone think that both of you are quite wonderful." --Source unknown

I saw this quote a couple of months ago and loved it and jotted it down on a slip of paper... happened to find the paper on Saturday and wanted to share this lovely quote. I have known some people that are very charming based on this definition and don't you love to be around people that not only make you admire them but also make you feel great about yourself? A couple of my friends come to mind, in particular, and I would like to be more like them.

Albion Basin






A couple of weekends ago, the girls and I took a drive up Little Cottonwood Canyon to Albion Basin to see the wildflowers. It is so beautiful up there this time of year! I am no expert photographer, so believe me when I tell you that it was even prettier than my pictures show.







The girls were thrilled that we saw a squirrel. They enjoyed our little "hike" (really just a walk) and loved the flowers. Every time we do go up into the canyons (which is not often) I think that I really should get us up there more often...it's so beautiful and peaceful and easy to feel the Spirit. And it's only about a half hour drive. When I was at BYU, I often drove up Provo Canyon on Sundays to read my scriptures, write in my journal, and take time to ponder and pray. I probably went up the canyon nearly weekly back then. It's a little farther now...and takes more effort to get 4 or 5 us up the canyon than it did to just take myself...but I should make the effort more often.




Sunday, September 4, 2011

First Day of School


Michelle, Ella and I all had our first day of school on Wednesday, August 24. This was the first year we've all started on the same day since my school just switched from year round to traditional.

I had great plans to get them there nice and early so they could meet their teachers and deliver their teacher survival kits. But for some reason (Construction every where!) it is now taking us 40-45 minutes to get to their school each morning instead of 25-30 minutes. So we got there only a couple of minutes before the bell rang. So no cute pictures in front of the school...only the 2 I took at home before we left. Ah well. At least they made it. (And I've now learned that as long as we leave by exactly 7:30, we'll be fine...wait until 7:35 and we probably won't make it on time...Argh!)



So far the girls are LOVING school. Michelle is in 3rd grade and her teacher is Mrs. Rudolph...for the first time, she only has one teacher...who teaches English one day and Spanish the next. Michelle loves how they have one computer for every two students. She is also happy about math because "we get to learn more times tables." Mrs. Rudolph is very nice.

Ella is in first grade and has Miss Finerfrock (Engish) and Miss Mary Lou (Spanish). A fun fact about this is that we all three taught at another school, Mountain View, together a few years ago. So I know her teachers pretty well. (And Michelle had Miss Finerfrock in first grade.) Ella thinks her teachers are nice. Ella loves first grade "because we have desk. This is my first time getting desks. Also, we have a red notebook to write in for English."

Other than the terrible commute in the morning, the school year is off to a great start. I'm really enjoying my class.