Peace

A friend/colleague died today. She went in last week for routine surgery, had complications, and had no brain activity. She was removed from life support yesterday and she passed on today. My heart breaks for her sweet family. She was our school's psychologist and she was a kind woman who genuinely cared about us as teachers and about our students. She was 3 years younger than I am. She has twin girls in second grade and an almost four year old daughter. My heart is breaking for them. They are about the same ages as my Ella and Gabby. The twins came to our school in kindergarten and they are darling. Her younger sister was killed in an automobile accident just a couple of months ago. There has been too much grieving in their family already, and now this.

So many that I love face such difficult challenges. I guess in the past I have been mostly happily oblivious to the struggles that so many face, and now I am consciously aware. That is good and bad. I am learning a great deal more love and compassion, but there are days when it feels my heart is breaking for these beloved friends.

Last night we had a Relief Society Temple night. We met at the church and then carpooled to the temple to do an endowment session. Because of my personal circumstances, I know it can be hard to go to the temple alone if your spouse cannot attend with you. So my thought was that holding these temple outings every other month might encourage others to come along who maybe might be less likely to go by themselves or on a ward night. Six of us went, and it was wonderful. I had no idea when I scheduled this first one how much I personally would need that trip on that very day. I was feeling so saddened by the imminent loss of my colleague and burdened down by the knowledge of several others that are struggling. I was physically, emotionally and spiritually exhausted. Going to the temple brought such peace. The Savior has promised, "I will not leave you comfortless." "Peace I give unto you, my peace I leave with you. ..."

As I was in the temple, I could envision a happy reunion between Sarah and her sister. I could envision the Savior taking her and each of us in His arms and embracing her/us. I want to live so that some day I can kneel before my Savior and give Him thanks and then be embraced in the arms of His love. I feel grateful for the peace that the Spirit can bring to us. My heart still aches for Sarah's family and their loss. We will miss her and I can't imagine how challenging it will be for her husband, her children, her parents who have now lost two children in just a couple of months. They are in my prayers. I hope they, too, can begin to find peace from the Savior. It is perhaps the greatest blessing we can receive in this life, particularly during difficult times.

Open hearts

I drive by a Baptist church on my way to work each weekday. I like reading their sign out front...sometimes it has clever sayings. This week the sign reads:

Open your mouth.
Open your heart.
Open your Bible.

This sign struck me. I think it is important counsel, although I think they have the order wrong. I think it should read.

Open your heart.
Open your Bible/scriptures.
Open your mouth.


I think we need to have an open heart and be ready to receive the promptings of the spirit and have our hearts filled with the love of Christ for our fellowman first.
Then we need to study the scriptures because that is how our Father often speaks to us and answers our prayers. Also, as we come to know the scriptures, we will know what to say to others.
Then, we should have the courage to open our mouths to share the gospel with others. If our hearts are open and our minds are filled with the scriptures, then we will know what to say and how to say it. Our words will have power.

In My Father's House

I saw a recommendation on a blog I read for In My Father's House by Corrie Ten Boom. I loved The Hiding Place, and I'm pretty sure that I also read Tramp for the Lord. Anyway, this tells about Corrie's childhood and young adult years...the years before The Hiding Place. It was wonderful to see how the Ten Boom family nurtured their children's faith and taught them and prepared them for the things they would face in the future. Here are some of my favorite parts (with an * by my thoughts):

page 16: "So many times we wonder why God has certain things happen to us. We try to understand the circumstances of our lives, and we are left wondering. But God's foolishness is so much wiser than our wisdom. From generation to generation, from small beginnings and little lessons, He has a purpose for those who know and trust Him. God has no problems--just plans!"
*I can see ways the Lord has guided my life or why certain things have happened. I don't understand everything, but I know that "all things shall work together for your good, if ye walk uprightly." (D&C 90:24)

Page 28: "Some people say that children don't have spiritual understanding--that we should wait until a child can 'make up his mind for himself.' I believe a child should be led, not left to wander."

page 34-35 Safe?
Said a precious little laddie,
To his father one bright day,
"May I give myself ot Jesus?
Let Him wash my sins away?

O, my son, but you're so little,
Wait until you older grow,
Bigger folks, 'tis true, do need Him,
But little folk are safe, you know.

Said the father to his laddie,
As a storm was coming on,
"Are the sheep all safely sheltered,
Safe within the fold, my son?"

"All the big ones are, my father,
But the lambs, I let them go,
For I didn't think it mattered,
Little ones are safe, you know."
--Author Unknown

*I think most of us realize how foolish the idea to let children make up their own minds is. Children need to be taught and led. We, as adults, even need to be taught and led. Yes, of course, there comes a time when children need to choose which path to take, but they will be much more likely to choose the correct path if they have been taught, if their parents have set a good example, and if they have felt the spirit. There is an innate goodness in young children, but it will quickly become corrupted if they are not taught by precept and example.

page 90 Corrie describes her family members learning several languages. She began to learn English in fifth grade and wondered if she'd ever go to ENgland or America and actually use English. (Of course, years later she traveled around the world speaking of her experiences and had many opportunities to use English.) Her sister studied German. During family Bible study, each family member would hold a Bible in a different language. Father would have each person read the same verse, such as John 3:16, in a different language. She writes, "When I was so young, it didn't seem possible that Betsie would ever have a chance to use a Bible verse in German. We didn't know any Germans then! However, God uses such seemingly insignificant ways to prepare us for the plan He has for our lives. Over forty years later, in a concentration camp in Germany, Betsie was able to use that verse-and many more-to speak to the prisoners and the guards about God's love."

*We never know when our experiences, the things we have learned, the subjects we have studied will allow us to bless others' lives.

Corrie was an au paire for a young child. The home was large adn the family was very wealthy. The family seemed very concerned with making money and Corrie was surprised that not all homes were so filled with love and laughter and fun as her home had been. When her aunt, Tante Bep, died soon after Corrie began this job and Corrie had to return home, she had gained greater compassion for this aunt that often seemed cranky...she had spent many years working in others' homes. "Just a small taste of the life she had led gave me more understanding. We never know until we walk in someone else's shoes."
(page 109).

page 117: "It never ceases to amaze me the way the Lord creates a bong among believers that reaches across continents, beyond race and color. This spiritual bond is something man has tried to establish with big national or world councils and organized ecumenical movements but always misses when the Spirit of the Lord is not present."

page 200-201...learned that she can't pray for something that is wrong...

Page 206, Her sister Hans lived in Rotterdam when there was a terrible bombardment during WWII. They fled and lived in a small suburb of Rotterdam, where they lived in a cellar for a year. She repeated to her children over and over, "Opa taught us, 'When Jesus takes your hand, He keeps you tight. When Jesus keeps you tight, He leads you through your whole life. When Jesus leads you through your life, He brings you safely home."


*Such a beautiful book and a warm and loving family devoted to serving the Lord. I am trying to make my home a refuge from the world. A place of love and laughter and safety and peace.

See Things My Way

My dear friend Aly shared a video on Facebook. It shows a forensic artist sketching women how they describe themselves and then how another person describes them. Then at the end, the women are shown the two sketches. In each case, the woman described herself as less beautiful than she truly was, emphasizing her imperfections. In each case, the other person's description was closer to the truth. The women then talk about how the way we see ourselves impacts our relationships, our work, our happiness. It ends with these words, "You are more beautiful that you think."

This video touched me. Aly shared that her husband had shown her family that video and then commented, "What if one of these women would have simply responded with, I am a child of God? How different would their portraits have turned out?"

How different would our lives be if we really felt that and remembered that each day?

This is something dear to my heart, because if I had one wish as Relief Society President, I think it would be to help each woman to really see herself for who she truly is...a beloved daughter of God...and to see how much potential she has to do good in this world.

I have a CD that I really love by a group called "One Clear Voice". I love every song on the CD, but this reminded me of one particular song entitled "See Things My Way." (This was written by Jeannine Lasky, Tyler Castleton and Julia Audretch).

Here are the lyrics:
I see you sitting there
With your head in your hands
How could anybody see inside
And pretend to understand
Doubting if a single heart would ache
If you simply slipped away
But when I look at you
I know the truth.

Chorus:
I see a strong and steady rock.
I see the anchor to my soul
I feel the hope you bring
The peace you leave
Wherever you go
I see a warm and faithful friend
Who listens to me time and time again
And I know if you could see
Oh, you'd believe
In the difference you make
If you could see things my way.

It breaks my heart to watch your eyes
Questioning your worth
Searching for an outward sign
Of praise that's seldom heard
I wish that you could look at your life
Thru someone else's eyes
'Cause when I gaze at you
It's an amazing view.
(Repeat chorus)....

If only we could see ourselves the way others see us. Since receiving this call as RS President, many people have told me of some of the qualities they see in me... and a few times, I have been really surprised. There have been a few times when I have honestly thought, "Wow, that's not how I see myself at all." Sometimes others CAN see us more clearly...we are our own worst critic. But even better than seeing ourselves as others see us, it would be best if we could see ourselves as our Father in Heaven sees us. 1 Corinthians 13:12, "For now we see through a glass, darkly". We don't see clearly who we are or whose we are. I talked more about this in my post on the program "Beautiful."

When I was called to be Relief Society President, but before I was sustained, I went to the temple. I prayed sincerely to know who I should call as my counselors and to receive the Lord's strength. My prayers were answered so completely that there was no doubt in my mind that the call came from the Lord nor any doubt who the members of my presidency should be. Then as I went back into the dressing room, for just a moment, as I gazed in the mirror, I caught a glimpse of who I truly am, a glorious, beautiful, beloved daughter of God. I was overwhelmed by the spirit and the love that flowed into me. I felt strongly that the Lord was telling me who I was and thereby also helping me to see how beautiful and cherished each of the women in my ward are. As we develop Christlike attributes, we become truly beautiful...beautiful from the inside out and it reflects in our countenances.

In No Doubt About It, Sheri Dew said, "Ultimately we will become what we give our hearts to, for we are shaped by what we desire and seek after. If we love the Lord such that our hearts are changed, His image will fill our countenances. But if we love the world more, we'll slowly take upon us those characteristics. As Truman G. Madsen has said, 'At youth our face reveals genetics. At fifty, we have the face we deserve.'" I am not sure that it is 100% accurate that at fifty, you have the face you deserve...but I do believe that the more we love and serve the Lord, the more our inner beauty will grow and the more that His image will be in our countenances. And some day we will stand before Him and finally be able to see who we really are. President Ezra Taft Benson said, “Nothing is going to startle us more when we pass through the veil to the other side than to realize how well we know our Father (in Heaven) and how familiar his face is to us.” Then we will know that we are created in His image and we will truly understand how precious each of us is. But as we study, as we strengthen our faith, as we love and serve others around us, we can be given the blessing of catching a glimpse of who we are.

25 Words

I loved Rosemary Wixom's talk in Conference. She shared this:

We can also influence our children through the words we write to them. Nephi writes, “We labor diligently to write, to persuade our children … to believe in Christ, and to be reconciled to God.”6

President Thomas S. Monson shared the experience of Jay Hess, an airman who was shot down over North Vietnam in the 1960s: “For two years his family had no idea whether he was dead or alive. His captors in Hanoi eventually allowed him to write home but limited his message to less than 25 words.” President Monson asks: “What would you and I say to our families if we were in the same situation—not having seen them for over two years and not knowing if we would ever see them again? Wanting to provide something his family could recognize as having come from him and also wanting to give them valuable counsel, Brother Hess wrote [the following words]: ‘These things are important: temple marriage, mission, college. Press on, set goals, write history, take pictures twice a year.’”7

What words would you write to your children if you had 25 words or less?

As soon as I heard this, I jotted a note to myself to record my 25 words or less. I love this idea for so many reasons: it's an interesting writing challenge, it forces me to be succinct (not one of my strengths...I often ramble on), and I love the idea of leaving my priorities in writing for my children/posterity.

So without further ado, here are my (exactly) 25 words:

Love God and all men. Faith, hope, charity. Temple. Keep covenants. Learn, read daily. Forgive. Choose happiness. Be grateful. Remember whose you are. Eternity awaits!

Cheesy Italian Cream Cheese Chicken

I was thinking about making bacon wrapped chicken and even looked at this recipe, but I realized I didn't have any bacon...well, I have tons of real bacon bits...but I didn't have strips of bacon to wrap around chicken. But her recipe sounded yummy. So I thought...maybe I could modify it by just using bacon bits and tossing the other ingredients on top. But then I decided to make a couple of changes.

First, I threw the cream cheese into the microwave to soften it... and I cut my chicken into small pieces because it was frozen and I wanted it to cook as quickly as possible. Then I stirred in 1 package of Italian dressing mix into the softened cream cheese and added about 1/2 cup of real bacon bits. I put the chicken into a 9x 13 pan and smeared the cream cheese mixture on top. Then, because I was lazy, I sliced cheddar cheese and laid it on top of the chicken. You could totally grate the cheddar cheese, but I just sliced it because it was faster. Then I baked this for about an hour. (Until the chicken is cooked thoroughly). Optional topping: bread crumbs or Ritz crackers crumbled
Yum!

Recipe:

5-6 chicken thighs (or chicken breasts, but I used thighs)
1 package Italian dressing mix
1 package (8 oz.) cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup real bacon bits... or about 5 slices bacon, cooked and crumbled
1 cup cheddar cheese
bread crumbs or crumbled Ritz crackers crumbled (optional)

*You could also add a little bit of jalapenos to make it spicy or a small can of green chiles. You could also substitute pepper jack cheese (too spicy for all of us except Alfredo!) or monterey jack or whatever your favorite cheese is. This was so yummy! It would also be great like artsy fartsy mama suggested with the bacon strips wrapped around the chicken and then baked. So many options!
Sorry...no pictures...didn't occur to me until I was eating the yummy food and thought...I want to remember this!

Conference Highlights

Conference Weekend was wonderful. It helped that I was off the week before so I had time to clean my house, relax, catch up on sleep and so on. But I was also spiritually prepared for this conference and we came with questions. We wrote down several questions that we each wanted answers to and then listened for the answers as conference progressed. Here are a couple of our papers hanging on the wall before conference started:

Here they are once conference ended. Every question had been answered and most had been answered several times by several speakers. After conference was over, all three of my kids could tell me what their favorite talk was and why. We were all spiritually fed.


A few highlights of the weekend. Alfredo, Michelle and I were able to go to the conference center Saturday morning. It was wonderful. As President Monson walked in, the Spirit overwhelmed me and testified to me (again) that he is truly a prophet of God. It was wonderful to be in the room with these amazing men and women and to listen to them speak. From that morning session, the thing that stood out to me the most was that we need to "stand as witnesses" at all times. We all three loved Sister Dalton's talk. I also loved President Eyring's talk.

In between sessions on Saturday, I sent the kids outside to play with the dogs (still dog sitting...so our dog plus the extra two) and to ride bikes. Then two of their friends ended up joining us to watch the afternoon session. They enjoyed listening for the words "prayer" and "scripture study" and getting a snack when they heard the words. They also colored and listened for answers to their questions and played quietly.

In between sessions on Sunday, they needed a way to release some energy. Michelle suggested a pillow fight. If Alfredo gets involved, it becomes a full on war. He isn't very gentle, but he had the girls laughing, teasing ("can't get me... nananana..."), and running away. Mostly Ella and Gabby stayed down the hall where they were fairly protected, but Michelle was right there swinging and throwing pillows right back at him.

The questions are wonderful because they focussed our attention on conference, helped us pay attention and helped us see that conference is applicable to us. But they will also be a wonderful source of FHE lessons. I got some great insights into areas that I need to teach my children...both from their questions as well as from inspiration/direction given during conference. I also got some wonderful insights into ways to better serve in my calling. In fact, I looked over my notes after conference and made a sticky note full of "action items" ...things to DO. I also put stars throughout my notes to remind me of things that will help me as RS President or things I want to share in our upcoming Visiting Teaching Seminar.

For me, these are the things that are sticking out right now:
*Missionary work...the work is hastening. We all have a responsibility and opportunity to be involved in the work of redemption.
*Faith...I loved Elder Holland's talk about believing and faith. "Lord, I believe. Help thou my unbelief." "Don't let your questions stand in the way of faith working its great miracle." He said to fan the flame of your faith because all things are possible to them that believe. He also said that aside from the Savior, The Lord has only ever had imperfect people to do His work..."That must be terribly frustrating to Him but He deals with it and so should we.""Be kind regarding human frailty--your own and those you serve with."
*We need to love and forgive and help those who have wandered or who are struggling or who don't feel accepted or who don't know whose they are. We each need to reach out, to rescue, to love, to serve.
*Obedience is so important. Obedience brings power and safety. Obedience to the law of chastity. Obedience to the other laws of God helps us avoid the cunning traps of the adversary.
*We each need a place of refuge. The church...our wards and stakes are one place of refuge. The temple is another. Our homes should be another.
*Elder Nelson: "Our living God is a loving God."

I am so grateful for the spirit that I felt and for the answers to my prayers. I love this gospel!