Unity Friendship Fun

 The pandemic has made things challenging for unity within our ward.  People have different opinions and they have reacted in a wide range of ways to the pandemic, to church closures, to wearing masks, etc.  It's getting closer to normal--we go back to second hour church meetings in person in 2 1/2 weeks.  But I feel like the level of unity and friendship in our YW group has suffered.  So I have thought and prayed about what to do.  And I've tried to do a variety of things.  Communicate regularly.  Drop off little treats and quotes.  A couple of times I have written letters or sent postcards.  Keep inviting, inviting, inviting.  For months, I have been doing "Waffle Wednesday" where I make waffles for my girls after school on Wednesdays and they sometimes invite friends--and a couple of times I have invited all of the YW to Waffle Wednesday (though the result from that has been mixed.)  And now I am trying to take small groups of YW out to ice cream to get a chance for them to interact outside of church/church activities and hopefully strengthen friendships.  I've only been able to take one group so far...but it was SUCH a fun evening.  It was a bit chilly.  But after eating their ice cream, Sofie, Gabby, Claire and Brielle played on the playground and they laughed and talked and seemed to have a great time.  I really enjoyed watching them interact as well as interacting with them myself.  I want to do it again soon with some different YW.

One other thing that I think went well.  We had a cupcake decorating activity yesterday.  One of our YW is gluten free, and she hasn't been attending much recently.  So I reached out to her and her mom that morning and let them know that I had gluten free cupcakes for her for the activity that night.  I got a response from her mom almost immediately, thanking me for making sure to include her daughter.  And that young woman and her sister came to the activity!  And I think they had fun.    I may be mistaken, but I doubt they would have come if I hadn't reached out to let them know that I had made gluten free cupcakes for her.  

Ward Council Breakfast

 About 7 or 8 years ago I was serving as RS President in my ward.  Laurel King was the Primary President and I think Heather Bankhead was the YW President. A week or two before Father's Day, discussion turned to whether we should hold ward council that day. I don't remember the details, but we felt like we should hold ward council...there were things to discuss.  So we decided to hold ward council but the three of us female presidents decided we would bring breakfast.  We brought yogurt and muffins and I think juice.  It was a beautiful morning and while I am sure we could have cancelled ward council it was nice to have a small opportunity to serve the wonderful brethren that served on ward council.

LESSONS LEARNED:

Small acts can lead to happy memories later on and can be a means of expressing gratitude and love to others.

Jen Seminary Sharing

 When I was in high school, I made a good friend whose name was also Jennifer.  She went by Jen and I went by Jenny.  Jen had a bit of a rough family life.  She spent a fair amount of time at my house and became interested in the church.  She ended up attending early morning seminary and would go to church and activities with me.  She took the missionary lessons at my house and she got baptized.  She was really happy and I believe she really did come to have a testimony.  But then her family moved to Las Vegas.  I tried to keep in touch with her...but this was before cell phones or social media.  Most people didn't have email.  So that basically meant that for high school/college age kids, you wrote letters.  And we were busy.  So we did write, but not often.  Her family had no interest in the church and so it was hard to get to church living in Vegas.  And then she met a guy and started dating.  She married right out of high school, and years later I would learn that he was abusive to her.  We are friends on Facebook now and it is clear that she is not religious at all.  (I wish this story had a happier ending!)

Jen has had a hard life.  She is divorced.  She has health problems.  She has experienced a lot of really difficult circumstances.  I don't have all the answers, but as I have thought and wondered about whether sharing the gospel was the right thing and why did I feel like  I should share with her if it wasn't going to be a permanent change or if it wouldn't help prevent some of the hard things she has faced...here are the things I feel like I have learned.

Lessons Learned:

1.  We are successful in our missionary efforts when we open our mouths and share our beliefs, regardless of whether the person chooses to accept the gospel or not, regardless of whether they make a permanent change or not.

2.  Jen has told me (over social media) that I was a positive influence and a bright spot in her life in high school.  I helped make high school a positive place and a happy time in her life.  That alone is enough to make it worth it.  She said she always felt welcome and included in our home.

3.  Who knows?  Maybe that planted seeds that will grow sometime in the future...maybe not even in this life.  

4.  If nothing else, I loved her and genuine love matters.  

Family Members' deaths

 Question 6:  Have any of your family members died? If so, what did they die from? What do you remember of their death, and what were the circumstances of their death?

As a child, I loved visiting my great grandma Della Hatton Young Erickson.  She was such an elegant, classy lady.  Her house was beautiful and spotless.  Her yard was perfectly manicured and was so lovely.  She has these ballerina figurines displayed that I absolutely loved.  I remember that we would play in her backyard and she would often offer us ice cream.  She bought ice cream in the rectangular cartons and when she served ice cream, rather than using a scoop, she would take a knife and cut a thin rectangle of ice cream--it seemed so unusual and also such a large amount of ice cream!  She died in 1992, when I was a sophomore in high school.  She was 87, and while I am not certain of the exact cause of death, she had lived a long full life.  

My grandma Faye Morris Neff passed away in 2010.  I was married with children.  My children don't really remember her--Michelle was 7 when she died and Gabby was only 2.  She was in a car accident which caused her to lose her eye and broke bones and bruised her badly.  She survived and after time in the hospital and in rehab, she came back home.  Then she had a fall and broke her hip (I believe) and she didn't recover.  She was nearly 86.

My grandpa Reed Gordon Bills had diabetes for years.  He also had a bad knee; he had been injured while fighting in WWII.  When he was in his early 80's, he had knee surgery and he struggled to recover.  He was put into an assisted living facility with my grandma and we thought he didn't have long to live.  However, the assisted living facility managed his diabetes and his health improved significantly.  He'd received a blessing that he would live to age 90 and he did.  He lived about a month after he turned 90.  I went to visit him (by that point he was in a nursing home in Provo) and he was frail and didn't wake while I was there.  He passed away while I was driving home.  He had dementia along with diabetes.  

My grandma Marjorie Young Bills lived to be 87.  She also suffered from dementia.  One of the last times I visited her, she thought my children were my cousins and that the nurse was her son. She was trapped back in times past, thinking her children were young adults with young children.  

My grandpa Franklin Floyd Neff passed away a year and a half ago.  He was nearly 96.  My grandpa was a very quiet and gentle man, a man of few words.  I know that over the last couple of years of his life, his health was deteriorating.  He had always been thin and he grew even thinner.  He developed allergies to several foods and he didn't have many teeth so eating became difficult.  I think it was probably a relief for him to pass and be reunited with my grandma and with his parents and many of his siblings and so many others he had known.  

I have been immeasurably blessed by each of these grandparents and their influences in my life.