Parkview Get Together 2019

It's always so great to get together with the teachers from Parkview.  Every year, in the summer, I host a barbecue and I love seeing these friends!  So glad we became more than just colleagues.

Worth Week Barbecue

I mentioned the barbecue already but here are just a few photos we took at the barbecue.  Only 8 out of 18 girls were able to attend, but it was a wonderful evening and how I love each of the young women!!

Thoughts I want to remember

I read a lot.  There's no way to possibly remember everything I read. But when I read a good book I try to write a review on Goodreads to help me remember what I liked or what I learned.  And ocassionally when I read something good elsewhere I try to document it somehow.  Here's a couple of thoughts I've really liked lately:

In a podcast with Robert Millet about the Holy Ghost, Brother Millet shared this: 

"Well, I think what I what I tried to do with the book was to have people come away when they laid it down, after reading it, saying, "Wow, I had no idea He was this involved." I came away with this impression.   You have your work cut out for your finding any facet of the Christian life, in which the Holy Ghost is not inextricably linked. Name one for me. I can't think of anything we do in the church that the Spirit isn't a part of, you know? I mentioned in the book, suppose we had full church organization, apostolic authority, 75,000 missionaries, and books of scripture. But there was no gift of the Holy Ghost, then what? None of that would matter very much. What good does it do to have the keys of the priesthood, the sealing power, if in fact, there's no Holy Spirit of promise to seal that marriage? And so I came away with the realization that the Spirit has a monumental role in the plan of salvation. The Prophet Joseph Smith said everlasting covenant was entered into by three personages before the foundations of the world and it pertains to their dispensation of things on the earth. They are God, the first the Creator God, the second Redeemer, God the third the witness or testator, and what I became aware of is how intimately connected all three are in the work of salvation. We often think of God and obviously we think of Christ as the key to salvation. But try getting saved without the Holy Ghost. In other words, the overwhelming thing when I had finished the book was "My gosh, He's involved in everything." And consequently, one of my dear friends, Joseph McConkie, at a time when he and his wife were called to preside over a mission in Scotland. They were going to leave and we were good friends. And so my wife Shauna and I went to dinner with him one night, and Joseph and I were chatting. And I said, Well, have you been through all the material you were sent? No, listen to all the tapes you're supposed to listen to. He said, "Yeah, I have," he said but "You know, I've been trying to distill, somehow distill it all into a neater package, so that we take that white missionary handbook and we say, yeah, that's the Book of rules, but can we distill it?" And here's what he came up with and he said it almost became a mission motto and it was this, "I would never do anything that would cost me the influence of the Spirit of the Lord." Can you imagine what the Latter-day Saints would be like in terms of spiritual power if that were our motto, and our way of life? I would never do anything that would cost me the influence of the Spirit. That's the other thing. I came away from the book saying, "I don't want to do anything to lose this. It's too precious."

I especially love that ending...I don't want to do anything to lose the Holy Ghost. It is too precious.

I also really love in these "All In" podcasts from LDS Living, they always end by asking the person what it means to them to live "all in."  I love Brother Millet's answer:

"You know, to me, it means I'm in for the long haul. Sadly, and unfortunately, I've met too many people in the last five to seven years who've left the church. They didn't like this or they didn't like that, or this bothers me or this bothers me. I had never appreciated what the phrase meant when Heber C. Kimball years ago said, be careful because there will come a time, a day of sifting. I didn't know what sifting was, I was a city boy. I didn't know what you did with grain to sift it. But I know now because I've watched people, dear, dear friends and loved ones be sifted. And so for me, John Taylor and Brigham Young had a phrase they would say "It's the kingdom of God or nothing." And I've even said in comical moments, you know, what, if Jeffrey Holland and Dallin Oaks and Henry Eyring and Russell Ballard are going to go down, I'm going down with them because they're not bad people to hang out with. Okay? And in other words, my wife and I, we have one greatest desire, it's to live and die firm in the faith. And if I were ever asked by a leader of the Church or the Lord, where do you stand? I want to be able to say, I've been loyal to church leadership. And I've tried to be loyal to the Lord. I don't think you can do that if you're only two thirds of the way there. And all in for me means you buy the whole package. You buy the whole package, and that comes...the Church with its members and their flaws. As Elder Holland put it beautifully God working with people who are flawed, "It must be terribly discouraging for him," he said, "but he deals with it. And so much we," and so with me it's the kingdom of God or nothing. It means I don't have anything that I'm not willing to do to build up the kingdom of God if I'm called on to do it, that's what it means to me. ...When I wrote the book, "Whatever Happened to Faith?" One of the thoughts that bore down on me was this. I began thinking about the singing of hymns. And there are certain hymns I just have trouble getting through, okay, they just moved me too deeply. They just get to me. One of them, interestingly enough, is "Firm As The Mountains Around Us." Every time I sing that and I come to the words of the chorus, "And we hear the desert singing, Carry on, carry on." In my case, I don't see the desert. I see my grandfather who joined the Church in the 1930s saying to me, "Robert, carry on." I see my dad who gave everything for the Church saying, "You Carry on, carry on." I don't want to face them hereafter, and have slipped up somewhere in a serious way. So it's the kingdom or nothing."

Emily Freeman shared this on Facebook/Instagram: 

"I BELIEVE GOD.  It was several years ago and I was talking on the phone with a good friend. I am religious by nature. He is taking a break from religion. Our conversations are generally filled with the passion that comes from sitting on those two sides of the fence. 

On this particular day he had asked me why I do all the things I do. My answer was simple, “because Jesus.”

“Your life isn’t easier,” he told me. It’s true. Our life hasn’t been easy. 

“Believing is a dangerous way to live.” He said. 

Maybe.
But God has promised peace in times of trouble. Grace when I need strength. Healing when life hurts. Comfort through loneliness. Hope when hope is gone. Light in my wilderness places. A haven in my storms. Refuge and respite and relief. He promised to be there no matter what life brings. 

I believe God. 

And that belief has carried me through every day of this mortal experience, and just like Paul, I plan to cling to it until the day I leave. 

“Wherefore, sirs, be of good cheer: for I believe God, that it shall be even as it was told me.” Acts 27:25

I, too, believe God. I believe His promises are sure because I have seen many fulfilled in my life and I have faith and hope that I will see others fulfilled in the future. It is worth any sacrifice, any effort, any challenge on our part to follow Him.

At girls camp at the end of July, and in testimony meeting on August 4, I shared a few words of Paul. "I have all, and abound. I am full..." (Philippians 4:18). Paul had so many trials and so many hard things happen...yet he found cause to rejoice even in the midst of hard. I've seen in my life that there is lots of hard. But there are also glorious vistas, moments of breathtaking joy, echoes of truth that we learned long ago swelling in our hearts and moments when through tears we can exclaim, "I have all and abound. I am full" because we believe God. Because we know Christ lives. Because we have seen the joy and peace that envelop us even in the midst of hard when we do our best to follow Him.

In a children's book I read on August 13 (You Are Never Alone by Elin Kelsey), the author's note mentioned being "within the blast radius of love." I love that description!

A blast radius is the distance from the source that will be affected by an explosion.

So a blast radius of love...in my mind, at least...would be how far a ripple of kindness or love can travel. How far we can make our love felt.

A friend was telling me about that week's (August 13) episode of Don't Miss This before I watched it.  I ended up loving the ending where Emily Freeman and David Butler talk about how in Romans 16 Paul lists all these people he loves and what he admires about them. I think our blast radius of love is probably bigger than we think. President Kimball said our influence "can be tenfold what it would be in more tranquil times." In the video, David Butler and Emily Freeman encourage each of us to find a way to let people know that they have influenced your life. Send a text or a note or tell them in person. Send out ripples of love and extend your blast radius of love.  I actually started an additional Instagram page that is my attempt to document all of the people that have influenced my life for good.  It's called eachlifethattouchesours and I write about people that I love and the Christlike attributes they possess or the way that they have blessed my life.  Then I send each person a note letting them know that they have blessed my life.  I just started it about a month ago so I only have written about 10 or so people...but I have so many more planned...just limited time in which to accomplish it.  But it makes my heart so full to realize how many people I have been blessed to have in my life!

****

In a different "All In" podcast, I loved these thoughts from a woman/writer named Melissa Inouye:

"Love is the power that allows us to be useful to others."

"MI: That's right, because everyone has the beliefs that they do, and wants to act on those beliefs out of this desire to follow Christ. And I think if we recognize the goodwill, within our fellowship and the covenants we've actually made to each other at baptism, then then that can get us pretty far.

MJ: Yeah, I love how you said the covenants that we made to each other.

MI: Yeah. If you look at Messiah where Alma's talking at the waters of Mormon. He says, if you're willing, you know, to be baptized, this is what it entails. It entails taking on the name of Christ and it entails, this covenant entails bearing each other's burdens, mourning with those that mourn. So there's a kind of vertical aspect in which we covenant to God. And there's also a horizontal aspect in which we covenant to each other. "

"MJ: I love another thing...I'm sorry to pull so many quotes from the book, but there were so many things. I was like, I want to talk to her about these. I love how you say "The miracle of Zion's one heart and one mind was not that all members of the community had been born identical, but that they had chosen to love and serve each other despite, or perhaps because of, their diversity." What can we do, Melissa, do you think on an individual level to create that kind of unity in the Church?

MI: I think one thing we can do is try to actively seek out people who are struggling for various reasons. It's obvious to see people who have kind of, you know, physical difficulties, who've you know have been in a car accident, people who need to move house, people who have just had a baby, who need meals, these kinds of things we're really good at noticing. I think we could be a little better at noticing where people are feeling spiritually fragile or feeling fragile in their faith, or feeling like they don't belong. We could do more to reach out to people and make it clear that we're there to support them, even if that support may be a bit...may stretch us or make us feel a bit uncomfortable. It's, you know, it's a lot of work to help someone move. I've participated in many Latter-day Saint moves, and it's, you know, you're like schlepping their massive bed and their flat screen TV, and their super heavy, you know, chest of drawers like, why is this wood so heavy, this is a really heavy chest of drawers. But like that is that's a no brainer for us. Right? It's really easy.

MJ: We show up.

MI: Right. But we can also show up in those other ways. And in the book, I have an essay called conversations are like casseroles. You know, it's like a no brainer again, just like throw together a casserole and then send that off to someone. But often it takes much less time to try to engage with someone on a slightly uncomfortable topic. But we should do that too. That's also a form of work and we shouldn't shirk, as the hymn says."

18 years and counting

On August 3, Alfredo and I celebrated our 18th Anniversary. That morning, Alfredo took our whole family to Gourmandise for breakfast:

SO very delicious!!



 We went to dinner at a (new to us) restaurant in Draper called the Charleston Draper.  It was really nice...though we've both laughed ever since.  It was a more expensive restaurant so I just asked for water.  They brought me a bottled water...from Norway.  When we got the bill, my water cost $12...more than Alfredo's lemonade and definitely the most expensive water I've ever had.  :)  But the food was delicious and the views were lovely and it was wonderful.  Then we went to see the Sunday School Musical at Desert Star Theatre.

First Day of School 2019

Whether it is my first day of my first year or my first day of my 22nd year, I'm always a bit full of nerves.   Excited and hopeful and nervous.  But so far it's going pretty well.  It's been an adventure but my students are pretty cute.

This year, Michelle is a junior!   How is that even possible?   Ella is a freshman.  Gabby is in 6th grade.  Gabby has Mrs. Leith and was excited and nervous.  But she seems to like it so far. And she made it on student council so she is excited about that.   She has Dayna as her teacher at Shellie's School of Dance and is enjoying that.   Ella really likes her ASL class.  She and Michelle have Dance 2 together.  Both of them really like their English teachers.   Ella is really enjoying AP Human Geography with Ms. Ohran..even though it has a lot of homework.  In fact it seems like Ella tells me more about school now than she ever did at Kennedy.  So hopefully/probably, that is a good sign!  Ella also joined Key Club.  Michelle is on the tennis team.  After tennis ends, she  plans to do debate again.  Though Ms. Liddell left Hunter and there is a new debate teacher.  Hopefully, the new teacher is good.  Michelle is still working a couple of times a week at Cafe Zupas.  She LOVES her seminary teacher.  She has always enjoyed seminary, and she really loved her teacher Brother Garner last year.  But she LOVES her teacher this year just as much.  She seems to like all of her classes and seems to be managing her responsibilities pretty well.  She received her Young Womanhood Recognition Award two weeks ago and told me a couple of days ago that she's going to try to earn her Honor Bee before the end of the year.  They are all 3 such good girls and I am so grateful to be their mother.

Catherine's Pass to Sunset Peak

Today is Labor Day.   Even Alfredo had the day off which was really nice.   So our family went with Annette, Dante and Daphne to hike up Little Cottonwood Canyon.  We started at Catherine's Pass and then hiked up to Sunset Peak.  About 5 miles of hiking.  It was strenuous at some parts...but so beautiful!  Alfredo never comes hiking with us (he's usually at work when we go, but he also usually doesn't want to go if he is off.) so that made today even better.   He and Gabby were way ahead of us for most of the hike.   On Instagram/Facebook I wrote:  "The honest truth is that when my legs are burning and my heart is pounding, I am not always loving every second. But here's what I do love...the time with family and friends. Knowing that my body is healthy and strong enough to hike (I am grateful for this gift.) The clean, fresh air. The breathtaking views. The flowers, trees and animals. The opportunity to ponder and reflect and pray. The knowledge that a loving God created such beauty for His beloved children. The sense of accomplishment when it's complete. September is off to a beautiful start."

"Worth Week" 2019

I've explained worth week in some previous posts.  It's one of my favorite weeks of the year.  This past week has been worth week.  It always lifts my spirit and helps me have a higher, holier perspective.  I hope it does the same for my beloved young women and the other leaders.

Here's what was in their packet this year:

Sunday: At girls camp, we passed around scrapbook paper and had each girl and leader write a brief message expressing love and sharing some of the girls' talents and gifts.  They received this with the lyrics to the song "Where You Stand" by Jenny Phillips on it.  They also received a letter from their parents expressing love and describing some of their talents and gifts.

Monday:  They received a letter from "Heavenly Father".   Here's what the letter said:

"Dear Daughter,

I remember well the day you left my side, wandered through the veil, and ventured forth to fulfill your earthly mission. I had a tear in my eye as I clothed your spirit in a cloak of love and sent you off to school. Be assured that my thoughts are with you now, as always.

I love you with all my heart. I know your life; the good, the bad, your grief, your disappointments, your unrewarded efforts, your frustrations. But always remember: all that I have is yours if you will only come home again.

Daughter, realize that in you I have placed a bit of Heaven. No one was exempt. I love all of my children. You have some blessed gift, some talent, some little part of me in you. Search for it, develop it, use it, and most importantly, share it with others. If you really love me, then help others find themselves and lead them to me. Show your love by serving others.

Repent of your failings and humble yourself. Make yourself ever teachable and continually strive to improve. I gave you weaknesses to help you be humble. Don't condemn me for that. I did it because I love you. Be full of hope. Don't let discouragement engulf you. I'll come if you need me.

Daughter, cease your idle contentions. Be a peacemaker, for it breaks my heart to see so many of my children fighting. If they could only see what I have hoped, planned, and desire for them. My heart breaks as I watch them. But you, faithful daughter, are my hope. It is through you that my work must proceed. You haven't much time and th ere is so much work to be done. I beg you to get started. Accomplish the mission I gave to you before you left me. I'll help you. I'll never be too busy or too far away to come to you. I'm nearer to you always than you might suspect. I have so much I would like to tell you, but I can't here.

Come to me often in prayer. I love to talk to you, my beloved daughter. Be diligent in my work and my kingdom shall be yours. I'd love to take you in my arms, but I too, must wait patiently--that time will come. Until then I leave you my peace, my blessing, my love, and never forget that I am nearby whenever you need me.

I love you and miss you so very much and, oh, how I am looking forward to your return to me.

All my love,

Your Heavenly Father"

Tuesday:

Wednesday:

Photo credit to my dear friend Natalie who gave me permission to use her photo.

Two Wolves

There is a well known parable of two wolves. A grandfather explained to his young grandson that there are two wolves inside us. One of them is a good wolf that represents love, kindness, bravery and other positive qualities. The other is a bad wolf that represents things like greed, hatred, and fear. These wolves are always at war. The grandson listened and then asked, “Which one wins?” The grandfather replied, “Whichever one you feed.”

In her book You Are More than Enough, You are Magnificent, Ganel-Lyn Condie redefines these two wolves. The good wolf represents self-worth and perceived value. The good wolf helps you know that you are a daughter of God and that you have a divine nature and individual worth. The good wolf embraces her worth and knows that she brought her value with her. The bad wolf seeks to make you miserable. It tells you that your value depends on your accomplishments, beauty or wealth. It tells you that you aren’t good enough and never will be.

The good wolf isn’t perfect but she doesn’t beat herself up when she fails or falls. She remembers to “let virtue garnish [her] thoughts unceasingly” (D & C 121: 45) and that includes the way she thinks about herself. The good wolf remembers that she is a beautiful work in progress.

You have the good wolf and bad wolf inside you. Sister Condie writes, “The good wolf is crying out to be fed. Feed her with truth. As the scriptures instruct, ‘Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God.’ Did you hear that? The worth of a soul is great. Not mediocre, not kind of good, but great. God isn’t just putting up with you. He cherishes you. I know it doesn’t always feel that way....you are being attacked by the bad wolf—so even when you are reminded of your worth, you quickly forget.”

Sister Condie writes, “The time has come to ask your toxic guest to leave. From today forward, choose to feed the good wolf. Listen to the voice in your head that allows for bad days and repentance; make room for mistakes and makeups.”

President Hinckley said, “There is...in our society a sad tendency among many of us to belittle ourselves. Other persons may appear to us to be sure of themselves, but the fact is that most of us have some feelings of inferiority. The important thing is not to talk to yourself about it.... The important thing is to make the best of all that we have. Don’t waste your time feeling sorry for yourself. Don’t belittle yourself. Never forget that you are a child of God. You have a divine birthright. Something of the very nature of God is within you. The Psalmist sang, “I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High.” (Ps. 82:6.)

Precious young women (AND RELIEF SOCIETY SISTERS!!!!), please begin today to listen to and feed the good wolf and do all you can to banish the bad wolf. You are beloved daughters of God. You make mistakes, but you are NOT a mistake. Sheri Dew said, “None of us come to this earth to gain our worth; We brought it with us.”

If you are in the habit of thinking negatively about yourself, it will take effort to change that habit. But that IS my challenge to you. Begin today to feed only the good wolf. Recognize and REMEMBER your worth as a child of God. You are precious to Him and no one else on Earth can fulfill the role and work that He sent you here to perform."

Thursday:

The young women were given a tube of chapstick with a cute poem about choosing carefully the words we speak.  Then the  second note says, "Beautiful young women, As daughters of God you have so many beautiful qualities within you.  You have gifts, talents, and characteristics that were given to you by our Father in Heaven himself.  Part of our earthly mission is to find those qualities within ourselves and then develop and share them.  We must also help others recognize that good within them as well.  As daughters of God, you have so much power to lift others and help them know who they truly are.  I invite you to take these two yellow cards and on one, write down all of your OWN talents, gifts, and the beauty within you.  On the other, do the same, but about someone else.  I invite you to then give that card to the person you wrote about.  I know that as you do, you will help that person remember who they truly are.  You will help them find a part of themselves and know how much they are loved by you and by our Heavenly Father."

Friday:

Beauty Bag:

Never forget there is "divinity in your very makeup."

Bandaid: Cover and heal the hurts of life with forgiveness

Cotton Ball: Show others gentleness and compassion

Comb: out the snarls of criticism

Rubber band: Be flexible and understanding, turning to the scriptures for guidance.

Q Tip: The tip of your beauty is charity.

Soap: Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, our sins can be washed away if we repent. Staying clean before the Lord is a wonderful feeling.

Emery Board: Although life may seem rough at times, our trials will shape our lives.

Wet wipes: Wipe off any bad habits.

"You are creatures of divinity; you are daughters of the Almighty. Limitless in your potential. Magnificent is your future. Never forget that you came to Earth as a child of the divine Father, with something of divinity in your very makeup." --President Gordon B. Hinckley

Saturday:

The first photo says, "The devil whispered in my ear 'You're not strong enough to withstand the storm.' Today I whispered in the devil's dear, 'I am a child of God, a woman of faith, a warrior of Christ, I AM THE STORM!"

The second photo says, "A man traveling through the country came to a large city, very rich and splendid; he looked at it and said to his guide, "This must be a very righteous people, for I can only see but one little devil in this great city." The guide replied, 'You do not understand, sir. This city is so perfectly given up to wickedness...that it requires but one devil to keep them all in subjection.'

Traveling on a little further, he came to a rugged path and saw an old man trying to get up the hill side, surrounded by seven great, big, coarse-looking devils. 'Why,' said the traveler, 'this must be a tremendously wicked old man! See how many devils there are around him!' 'This,' replied the guide, 'is the only righteous man in the country; and there are seven of the biggest devils trying to turn him out of his path, and they all cannot do it.'"

The third photo says, "Remember your worth. You are a strong, independent young woman. As you continue to live righteously, it may seem at times like you are having a harder life than others. Remember the more righteous you are, the more "devils" Satan sends to you because it becomes harder to tempt you. Also remember that you have support from leaders, family, freinds, and most importantly, Christ and your Heavenly Father. Christ allows the "devils" to challenge you and help you grow closer to Him. We cannot learn without trials. As you resist Satan and his "devils" you become more Christ-like. Remember, you have POWER over these devils. You CAN vanquish them and go on to do great things. I love you all!!

Sunday:  They received this reminder:

One of the other things I did this year was send a link to a couple of songs about the YW's worth each day.  I encouraged them to listen and ponder their worth and pray for the spirit to witness to their spirit that they are a daughter of God.  I sent the following songs:  Glorious by David Archuleta, Daughter of a King by Jenny Phillips, Strong by McKenna Hixson, Hear it From You, He Showed Me How by David Archuleta, You Say by Lauren Daigle, Beautiful for Me by Mercy River,  My Story by Kaity Whitcomb, He Knows Me Better by Jenessa Buttars,  Child of Light by Mindy Gledhill, What Heaven Sees in You by Mindy Gledhill, and I Am His Daughter by Nicole Sheahan.  I also shared a couple of videos:  God's Greatest Creation and Our True Identity.

On Saturday evening, we had a barbecue at my house.  It was Labor Day weekend, so some of the young women and their families weren't able to make it.  But we had a wonderful evening with those who came.  We ate good food and visited.  Then we sat in a circle and I shared a few things with the young women.   Part of what I shared with the young women came from a text I received from one of our YW who graduated and just moved into the dorms at BYU this week.  We invited her to participate with us in worth week one last time.  She sent me a text with a poem.

She saw this poem at BYU on Friday and thought it went so well with worth week that she hoped I would share it.  She shared how much she loves this poem and that it paints such a beautiful picture of our Heavenly Parents' love for us and for each other. She said she realized she didn't know much about our Heavenly Mother or about their love for one another. She said that sometimes we struggle with relationships or with loving others, but if we could follow their example and not be quick to judge, we can learn to see others through God's eyes and feel pure love and joy. She wrote, "I know we can be successful in surrounding ourselves with love because we come from love. Notice that the silver words are: heavenly, brilliant and you. In my opinion, that emphasis is pointing out that we ARE heavenly brilliance."

I shared with the young women that on Friday I got in the car and the radio was on.  A song was on and I can't even remember the exact lyrics but something like "I hate you" or you're stupid or something.  It was so jarring after listening to such uplifting music all week and feeling the spirit testify to me that I am loved and valued.  I only heard about two lines and immediately shut it off.  I cautioned them to be careful what they watch, listen to, and read...to fill their minds with things that uplift.  I also shared an experience I had several months ago.  I was praying for them...as I do every day.  And in my prayer I referred to them as "my" young women, as I often do, because I love them dearly.  But that day I received a bit of a gentle rebuke...I was told that they are not MY young women, but they are His...and as much as I love them and want them to find joy and peace, He wants that SO much more.  I was taught that His desires for them and His love for them and His knowledge of them is so much greater than mine.  Of course, I knew that.  But ever since I either pray for His daughters or if I speak of them as mine, I put quotation marks around "my" young women.  They are and will always be His.  He is ever mindful of them.  I gave them the opportunity to share their experiences.  I asked them to especially consider what they learned this week about their Father and Savior or about themselves...and how will that impact their future choices/behavior?  Many of them shared their experiences and some of the parents did as well.  It was a wonderful evening.  I love these precious daughters of God so very much!