My Dear Uncle Phil

My uncle Phil died on January 2, two days after he turned 67.  Tuesday was his funeral.  I was very close to my uncle.  He lives just a couple of miles away.  I lived with my aunt and uncle for a couple of years after I graduated from college when I first began teaching.

There was a viewing Monday night and a viewing Tuesday morning.   So many people came to pay their respects and show their love and support for my aunt.


The funeral was beautiful.  My sister played the piano.  My mom said the family prayer.  My uncle David gave the opening prayer.   Then their former home teacher and friend, Perry Gillette spoke.  He spoke about Phil and Elaine and about the good man that Phil was.  He spoke about the gospel of Jesus Christ and read two beautiful scriptures about what happens when we die, Alma 40:11-13 and D&C 137:9.  My uncle was baptized when he was 8, but no one in his family was really very active.  He has never been active.  But he was a good man, and he has made a lot of changes for the better in the 25 years since he and my aunt married.  Brother Gillette did a good job of providing peace and explaining the plan of salvation.  He then spoke directly to Elaine and counseled her to remain close to God, to pray, attend the temple, attend church, and rely on her Father in Heaven.  He promised that Phil would be nearby, watching over her and told her how much Phil loved her.  Because many of those in attendance were not members of the church, I think he did a wonderful job of bearing testimony and explaining what happens after death.

My cousins Tamara, Janiel, Emily, Teresa and  cousin in law Jared did a beautiful musical number of Our Savior's Love.

Then I spoke.  More on that in a minute.


Then their Bishop spoke.  He read a beautiful quote from Elder Scott about how the dead know us better than we know them and how they are near us and aiding us from the other side.  He bore testimony that God lives and that we will see our loved ones again.  We sang "God Be With Us Till We Meet Again" and his daughter in law, Michelle, gave the closing prayer.  Then we had a graveside service.  I will write about that tomorrow.

Elaine asked me to speak about my memories of Phil, particularly his sense of humor.
Here is some of what I shared.

Phil and Elaine enjoyed traveling and taking trips together.   I had the opportunity to travel with them several times.   After my freshman year of college,  we went to Yellowstone together.   At that point in my life, I had only traveled to Arizona, Utah and California.  We all got a kick out of the fact that in one day, we doubled the number of states I had been to...driving through Idaho and then a tiny corner of Wyoming and Montana.  (I am much more well traveled now...having been to 11 other countries and at least 15 states.).  I also had the chance to go to St. George with them a couple of  times.  They loved to go to St. George and see the plays at Tuahacahn each summer.  In fact, in September we decided that next summer our family, Phil and Elaine, my mom and stepdad would all meet in St. George together and see a play and then visit Zion's or Bryce Canyon.   My family may still make the trip, but it won't be the same.



Phil loves his grand kids.  Phil would often tell his grandson Justin that if he'd do this to that, then he'd get "Grandson of the Year Award".  One day, Justin pointed out that he didn't actually get anything for the award.  When Phil said he would get grandson of the year award, Justin replied, "Give it to Tyler."  (Tyler is his cousin that is about his age.). Phil got a real kick out of that and loved to tell people that story.

Phil loved to play cards and games.  He often got together with their dear friends Marv and Nita, Val and Kathy, and Jim and Linda to play games.  We used to play Phase 10 a lot.   That game really aggravates me.  I always seem to get stuck on about phase 5 or 6 for about 6 turns.  Both Phil and Alfredo love to play Phase 10 and find it humorous to see me get so aggravated by a game.

In the past year, I have been so busy with my job, my family, and my calling that I didn't go over to visit as often as I would have liked.  Everytime I would go visit, Phil would tease me, "You never write... you never call."

Phil always read the obituaries. He often joked that he was checking to make sure he wasn't dead yet.  He'd always act relieved that he wasn't there.  But he often found someone he knew...someone he'd worked with or delivered the mail to.  He'd go to the funeral or viewing or send a note to the family.

Phil would joke that we'd all need to wear a hard hat if he was going to church because the roof may cave in.  Yet despite his jokes, he has been at every important event in my family...my wedding reception, my children's blessings and baptisms, even Primary programs and a couple of violin concerts.  He recently went to church to attend his grandson Tyler's mission farewell.  Phil was so pleased that Tyler chose to serve a mission.

Phil and Elaine help keep the family close...both sides of the family...his and hers.   They would invite everyone to their house on holidays and birthdays. 

I asked my children what they loved most or what they remembered most about Phil.   They said that he always made them laugh. He played games with them.  Even when he was first hospitalized, he tried to make them laugh and tried to help them feel better.

I didn't mention this in my talk, but one of the first dates Alfredo and I ever went on was at their house.  I invited a  couple of my college roommates to come with dates and we all made gingerbread houses. 

We love Phil so very much, and we miss him already.

At the end I bore my testimony that because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we will see Phil again.  We can be reunited with those we love and we can be eternal families.  Jesus Christ lives and He loves us.  He is aware of our pain, and He can carry our burdens for us.  I know I will see Phil again.  I am so thankful for that knowledge.

photo shoot

My incredibly talented sister, Becky, took photos of my kids and I while we were in Arizona over Christmas break.  Alfredo wasn't with us (he had to work), so we didn't get family photos, but she took great photos of my girls.

I love Gabby's sassy but sweet personality.

These next three are very special to me.  They are photos of Gabby and her cousin Hannah.  They are only about 6 weeks apart in age.   Hannah was diagnosed with autism.  Through intensive interventions, changes in diet, and biomedical treatments, Hannah has made significant gains.   She is able to interact happily with Gabby much of the time.  Her improvement has been nothing short of miraculous, and I loved watching Gabby and Hannah play together.   My sister is an incredible mom that also blogs about her journey to help heal Hannah.   (See the link above.).  I love the photos of these two precious, curly haired girls.

Christmas Day

Michelle and Ella woke up about 8 AM on Christmas Day.  Gabby slept until 8:30.  The rule in our family is that the girls can look in their stockings when they wake up, but they can't wake us up until all 3 are awake, and they can't wake each other up.This year my dad was able to join us for Christmas morning.  He was able to watch the girls open their gifts (and Alfredo and I as well) and join us for breakfast.  He also enjoyed playing a round of Battleship with Michelle as that was one of her gifts.

Some of their gifts included electric toothbrushes that they were able to decorate and personalize, clothing including BYU and Uof U shirts.  (My girls wear uniforms to school...but on Thursdays, they don't have to wear a uniform top IF they wear a college t-shirt.  I am partial to BYU but we will be pleased for them to go to whatever college they choose.  And the U is a good school.  And it's easy to find U shirts..so they get both.)
They got several games...Battleship, Life, Scrabble.  Michelle got a scooter with light up wheels.  Ella got a makeup and nails kit.  Gabby got a Monster High Doll.  They got a Monster High Wii game and Wipeout Wii game.  There were new clothes and shoes and webkinz. All in all, they were very happy.

It was a quieter Christmas Day than usual.  My sister, Suzy, was in Arizona so she didn't spend the day with us.  Usually we spend several hours at my Aunt Elaine and Uncle Phil's home.  But Phil was very sick in the hospital.  I had planned/hoped to go spend part of the day at the hospital, but two of my kids were sick with colds and I woke up with a very sore throat, so we couldn't risk visiting him and exposing him to our germs.  He was in my thoughts and prayers throughout the day.

So we spent the day at home.  We played our games.  We listened to Christmas music.  We enjoyed time together as a family.  It was quiet but nice.  How thankful I am for my family and for the time we have spent together during this holiday season.  So many memories were made.

Christmas Eve

I love Christmas Eve. It is one of my favorite days of the year. This year Alfredo's cousin had her baby girl, Darla, on Christmas Eve. We headed to the hospital to see her, only to realize that kids could not go up since it is RSV season. So Alfredo visited and the girls and I went to ColdStone for ice cream. I had peppermint ice cream with brownies and pecans. It was delish! The girls like cotton candy ice cream (yuck) with gummy bears. This time they mixed the cotton candy ice cream with another flavor...Gabby got raspberry sorbet and Michelle and Ella got some other flavor.

That evening, we did our traditional luminaries.  (This is a tradition from my family growing up, a tradition that I have carried into my own family.  I love it.  It is a tradition from Mexico, although none of us are Mexican.  It helps guide Santa to your home.  It represents the light of Christ and the light that he brings into your home.)   It was cold, but not snowing, and they looked so beautiful. I love the lighted candles that remind us of the Light of the World. Then we read Luke 2. We were interrupted as we read by all of the local missionaries caroling. They sang so beautifully, and it just added to the spirit in our home. So wonderful.

 

Then the girls opened their pajamas and put them on. Our good friends, the Galatas, stopped by for a visit and to exchange gifts.

Then we headed to Alfredo's family for dinner. The tradition is to have dinner at midnight, then open gifts. With Irene and Miguel at the hospital, it was a small gathering, but wonderful. Dinner was delicious, the company was great, and I feel so thankful to spend time with family. 

 Because we do not get home from these Christmas Eve festivities until 1:30 or 2 in the morning, we all get pretty tired.  I took a half hour nap while waiting for dinner to get done.  Gabby was tuckered out and slept for an hour and a half, including sleeping through dinner.  (She ate after she opened presents.)  My kids don't get nearly enough sleep on Christmas Eve...they aren't in bed until 1-2 AM and they are up again about 8, but we have such a wonderful, magical evening.

Holiday Happenings

Here's a summary of some of our holiday events this year:

Gabby got her ears pierced as one of her Christmas gifts. She was a tiny bit nervous before we went, but she was so brave when she got them pierced. She didn't cry. They asked her if she wanted both ears done at the same time or one at a time, and she said one at a time. She didn't even respond when the first one was pierced. She said it didn't hurt at all. I guess after having stitches, getting your ears pierced is a breeze.

BEFORE:

DURING:

AFTER & eating ice cream after it was over:


Michelle had a violin concert at school. My coworker, Polly, was nice enough to take my class for 45 minutes so I could go to Michelle's concert. She did a great job. They played Carol of the Bells, Winter Wonderland, and a song about Ramadan.

I just think this picture of our little Gabby, the red nosed reindeer is so cute!


Santa came to Utility. The girls were able to visit Santa and tell him what they wanted for Christmas. Less than a 5 minute wait and free made this a great Santa visit for all.

Santa had to check his "naughty and nice list" when he talked with Michelle. He had to scroll way down the nice list before he found her name...but thank goodness, it was there!


It seemed there was a lot of present opening even before Christmas Eve/Christmas Day, thanks to so many kind friends.


On Sunday, December 22, we were able to attend the Children's Choir Concert. Our friend Kate is in the choir, and it is a beautiful way to invite the spirit. Gabby was tired and a bit cranky during the concert, but Michelle, Ella and I loved the beautiful music.

Another thing about this holiday season that I want to remember is the little mailboxes I bought. They had cute little Christmas mailboxes in the book order so I bought one for each of the girls. The mailboxes came with cards and envelopes. The girls wrote countless notes to each other. Gabby learned how to write "I love you" and has spent the past month writing I love you notes to everyone. I love that (most of the time) my kids get along so well and play well together.

It was one of the best holidays I can remember. So much love, joy, and peace.