Listening to President Nelson's words in the Sunday morning session of conference, I felt inspired but also felt like I had some work to do to strengthen my spiritual foundation. And I just wasn't sure exactly how to begin the work to learn more about the temple and strengthen my spiritual foundation. But after listening to a video on Inklings (on Instagram) and pondering, I felt like I should gather some women to study together and to help one another grow and become stronger. And the thought wouldn't leave so I figured it probably was something I should act on. Naturally, I talked about it with Sara and Jackie and then picked a date and invited some friends to join me. Not everyone could or wanted to participate, which is okay, and a few people wanted to participate but the first date (tonight) didn't work for them. But the few of us who gathered tonight had such a good discussion. I felt the spirit and felt such love for these women. And I'm looking forward to our continued discussions and studies together. I promised a couple of women who couldn't attend, that I would take some notes and I just wanted to try to capture some of my thoughts and feelings before time had passed and I couldn't quite remember or express it.
I began by kind of explaining why I invited them. I shared these words from President Nelson (from October 2015, the talk entitled A Plea to My Sisters, one of my all time favorite talks:)
We, your brethren, need your strength, your conversion, your conviction, your ability to lead, your wisdom, and your voices. The kingdom of God is not and cannot be complete without women who make sacred covenants and then keep them, women who can speak with the power and authority of God!7
President Packer declared:
“We need women who are organized and women who can organize. We need women with executive ability who can plan and direct and administer; women who can teach, women who can speak out. …
“We need women with the gift of discernment who can view the trends in the world and detect those that, however popular, are shallow or dangerous.”8
Today, let me add that we need women who know how to make important things happen by their faith and who are courageous defenders of morality and families in a sin-sick world. We need women who are devoted to shepherding God’s children along the covenant path toward exaltation; women who know how to receive personal revelation, who understand the power and peace of the temple endowment; women who know how to call upon the powers of heaven to protect and strengthen children and families; women who teach fearlessly.
The women I invited are ALL these type of women. They are women who live and act in faith. They are women who do so much good. They are women who make and keep covenants. I feel so incredibly blessed to know such good, righteous women.
I also shared these words from President Nelson:
Attacks against the Church, its doctrine, and our way of life are going to increase. Because of this, we need women who have a bedrock understanding of the doctrine of Christ and who will use that understanding to teach and help raise a sin-resistant generation.12 We need women who can detect deception in all of its forms. We need women who know how to access the power that God makes available to covenant keepers and who express their beliefs with confidence and charity. We need women who have the courage and vision of our Mother Eve.
He said that in 2015, and I feel like I have definitely seen an increase in attacks (from within and without). I want to be a woman who can detect deception and I hope that this group can be a safe place to share why we stay and to help one another express our beliefs and strengthen our spiritual foundations. So I posed the question: "Why do you stay?" And their answers were all SO good.
Jackie wasn't able to come, but she sent a message earlier about why she stays. She feels sad that her kids and grandkids are not doing the things that will bring them to Christ. She worries that as things get hard in their lives, they will have no center. No compass. No Jesus. She said she stays for many reasons but partly so her prayers are more readily heard. For the peace that she can petition the Lord, as Alma did, for her children will turn away from the wickedness of the world and seek Jesus. She stays because it brings her peace. It feels like she is headed home when she keeps her covenants. She wants to look forward to the day when her journey moves forward.
Melissa spoke about growing up in the church but rebelling a bit as a teen. She didn't have great friends and wanted to change but really needed to know for herself what she believed. She found that the gospel grounds her. She began living the gospel because she wanted to and not because she was told to. She thought a lot about what type of mom and person she wanted to be. And she said she stays because she feels peace. She knows the Savior. She said she's had a handful of experiences where heaven and earth have touched. She thinks of Joseph Smith's words "I knew it and I knew that God knew that I knew it." It's real. She also spoke about how Christ knows everything we feel. He understands all of it, good and bad.
Sara spoke about how her experiences, good and bad, have helped her gain a testimony. She said she knows it's true.
Heather said her reasons for staying have changed throughout her life. Her family is so important to her. She shared that her sister isn't active. Her sister's stake president had counseled them to pray daily as a couple and her sister has said that after they stopped, things changed and got harder. She explained that she has seen the Lord's hand too many times. She's received needed counsel in priesthood blessings. She's seen little miracles as she has paid tithing or prayed. And her children have seen these miracles too.
Sara talked about the small and simple things and how vital they are. Going to church. Scripture study. These things hold us together and invite the spirit into our lives.
Heather spoke about how her son always needs to know the why behind things. But as they study and discuss he is able to see the miracles that happened in church history or begin to understand why. She said she has to stay or they wouldn't.
And we discussed how the decisions of one person/couple can affect generations. President Hinckley said, “When you save a girl, you save generations.” (I said that this haunts me because I think about it often and I worry about those that I am not reaching.)
Lilia spoke about how personal it is. She stays because of her relationship with the Savior and Heavenly Father. She talked about some of the hard questions that she and her husband have faced. Questions about race and the priesthood. Questions about why certain policies were enacted. She has had to do a lot of searching. But she has had experiences with the Holy Ghost and with God. God is real and true. She realized at one point that she could believe in God and not be in the Church. She could choose to go toward anger and disappointment...but at the end of the day, she realized that humans are not perfect but God is real and she trusts Him. Prophets are inspired though imperfect. So she chooses to hold on to what she does know. She said there is nothing out there in the world like the gospel. Nowhere else that gives her what she gets here, despite her questions.
Sara spoke about also having questions that aren't resolved, but as she has studied and searched for answers, she comes back to her knowledge that God loves His children. She has wrestled, but that is when she has most deeply felt His love. You can have faith and still have questions. She has learned that it's okay to have questions.
La shared that she's had periods where she has had an inkling of what it might be like without the gospel. She's gone through some hard experiences and said she feels infinitely better when she turns to God and trusts Him. He never fails her. She knows and feels goodness when she is surrounded by good people. Being way from God never feels good. She said her sister feels defeated and unneeded and she wishes she had a group like this.
Lilia recommended a book entitled Planted.
Lilia spoke about how wards and stakes often put us with people that we might not choose to associate with if we weren't sort of thrust together. It has helped teach her to see others as human. Can she love others even when she disagrees with them?
La said the antidote to struggling with someone is to serve them. Serve them and serve with them.
Sara has a friend in Nevada that was struggling during the pandemic. IN her prayers, she felt prompted to serve those she was most bothered by. She got to know them and it changed things.
Often, I shared, if we will take the time to listen to someone who seems to be very different or to have very different political views, we can find that we have more in common than we think. And even if we disagree, we can often find things that we can respect about their viewpoint if we listen and ask questions and don't make assumptions.
Jan reminded us that Satan's goal is to divide and get us to contend. Especially those in the church, those of us who are supposed to be building Zion. La spoke about this very thing in church a week and a half ago. In many ways the pandemic has been a disease of the heart...how we respond to others and to this challenge is a test.
Sara spoke of how Jan often shows up when she needs something, without being asked. She knows that if she needs something, she can turn to Jan. And that we shouldn't assume that others are ok based only on outward appearances. Jan: We need one another. We are stronger together.
I talked about recognizing that often when we feel we are being judged, it's more about OUR feelings of guilt or not belonging or whatever. Often those we think are judging us aren't even thinking about us at all because they are busy juggling their own challenges. And often if they are thinking of us, they are thinking kind things or thinking they wish they knew how to help. Satan uses these thoughts to try to draw us away and he is so good at it. Lilia: Much of the times we think we are being judged, it is really more about the narratives we are telling ourselves. If we want to change how we feel, we must change our narratives.
Satan will find little things to distract us or draw us away. Get us to miss church or skip scripture study or whatever...and soon we are distanced.
La spoke about how Brian's dad wasn't active. Brian had to make sacrifices and make personal decisions about whether to be active, go on a mission, etc. He had to fight to live the gospel and when she thinks of his sacrifices, she wants to stay true to honor his sacrifices and not have them be in vain.
Sara's mom chose to go to church despite her parents being less active. When she thinks of her mom's sacrifices and how that has blessed her and her sisters and their families, she wants to share those stories with her children and help them recognize the sacrifices and not take them for granted.
I spoke about one of my reasons being that in the words of Michael Wilcox...I don't want to break the chain. I had many faithful ancestors that sacrificed so much. Losing homes and family members, crossing the plains, and staying faithful despite real hardships. I can't imagine standing before them some day and saying that I neglected the legacy they gave me because my (privileged, pretty easy overall) life was too hard. I can't imagine saying that I was upset about the polygamy they LIVED and practiced so I left or that I was upset about this or that doctrine or church policy and so I walked away.
Lilia said that if she left, she would be turning her back on God.
Laurel said that is why she stays...because of Christ, she learns of Him, renews her covenants with Him, becomes like Him. That's why she goes to church.
For me, the words in John 6: 66-69 have rung in my head for months now: "¶ From that time many of his adisciples went back, and bwalked no more with him.
67 Then said Jesus unto the twelve, Will ye also go away?
68 Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the awords of eternal life.
69 And awe believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the bSon of the living God."
Where would I go? I don't want to walk away from Him. I love Him. He is my biggest reason for staying.
Jan talked about how much we need each other. We need the strength that we get from one another. We need the service and love we provide for one another. (I didn't speak up, but I feel this deeply. I love my job and I work with great people. I've had opportunities to work on committees and in different organizations in the world and many of them do some great things. So I don't want to minimize the good that is done by many people of the world. BUT...for me, there is something unique and special about serving alongside other men and women of faith. Partly because of what we are able to accomplish. But mostly because it feels different. I feel like I have mostly been treated with respect in my job and other experiences. But there is a different feeling... a feeling of a common purpose and unity, a desire to follow God and love our fellowman, a depth of love and compassion...that is present in much of my church service that is missing in the work I do in the world. Or that is not there in the same way. I'm not sure I am articulating that well, but there is power in the combined efforts of people of faith. Of course there is--there is power in covenants!)
Hayley was pretty quiet, but shared a bit about preparing for her mission. She will hopefully get her mission call next week! She is going to be amazing!
And there were more things said and shared that I didn't get recorded.
There was more discussion, but I was eating cake and didn't take more notes.
But there was a beautiful spirit.
We are going to meet on the 2nd Wednesday of each month and I hope it will be a source of strength and inspiration and goodness in all of our lives. I am truly grateful to have such incredible women around me. I was 100% serious that they are the type of women President Nelson described! What a privilege to be surrounded by them and to learn from them.
One thing I didn't share that I will probably share next time is how pivotal the temple is to my staying. Maybe that's how I'll begin the next "meeting". But oh how grateful I am for these women!
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