Giving Thanks

What a beautiful holiday it was Thursday!  I loved spending time with family and eating delicious food.  We had Thanksgiving Dinner at our house this year.  Elaine and Suzy and my grandpa came.  Then later that night we went to Patty's house for Thanksgiving Dinner with Alfredo's family.  The weather was beautiful and it was a lovely day. But I was a terrible photographer...I only got a couple of shots and they were all of food, other than one selfie as I was cooking.

I love how the Thanksgiving season gives us an opportunity to count our many blessings and name them one by one.  This month, I've tried to post one or more things I'm thankful for each day.  Here are some of the things I posted:

It's November 1! Today I began talking to my students about gratitude...what it means, how to show gratitude and why it matters. Today my family will begin recording 1 or 2 things each in a gratitude journal each day. And today, I will begin sharing things that I feel grateful for.

Many years ago, I read a picture book called "The Secret of Saying Thanks" by Douglas Wood. In the book, he writes "We do not give thanks because we are happy. We are happy because we give thanks." I believe this is true. In fact, I know it is true...both because I've read research about it and because in the times I choose to express gratitude, I am happier! I have much to be thankful for and I love taking the opportunity to make a public list of a few of these things.

Today I am thankful for the power of gratitude in my life! I'm grateful for an entire month when I can focus on all the wonderful things in my life. And I'm thankful that spending November counting my blessings seems to help rub off on my attitude for much of the year.

I am grateful for appliances...especially these that represent the food that I am able to prepare for my family. I am grateful that I know how to cook and that we have a variety of foods to nourish us. I'm grateful that we are able to sit down and enjoy meals together nearly every day. And I'm very grateful that I don't have to wash dishes by hand.

Grateful for my right/responsibility to vote. It's a privilege and blessing to have the opportunity to exercise my civic responsibility

Plants! They are beautiful. They provide us with oxygen, food, and medicines. Plants help remove bacteria and chemicals from water. Plants are wonderful and necessary for life! (Credit also needs to be given to Alfredo because he keeps the plants alive and healthy in our home.)

So very thankful for the inspired messages and leadership we have from these prophets and apostles! There are few things I love more than General Conference! And I genuinely love studying their messages.

Canyons, waterfalls, mountains, streams, beaches...so many beautiful places to see in this world!

I am thankful for clean, running water!

According to dosomething.org, more than 750 million people lack access to clean drinking water. 750 million people! 842,000 people die each year from diarrhea due to the lack of clean drinking water, poor sanitation and limited hand washing.

There are many things that I tend to take for granted. But I know that I am more fortunate than so many...and simply because of the location I was born, not due to anything I did to deserve these opportunities and blessings. I am thankful...and I try to give back. My contribution is small, but even small contributions add up. Gratitude makes us more aware of the suffering around us and fosters empathy.

Today I am grateful that I get to spend my days teaching. And I'm grateful for poetry. My students wrote a thankful poem today using sentence stems I provided. (And I must apologize because I found the idea online but don't know where). Here's mine--it's not especially poetic or beautiful, but it does express a few of the things I'm grateful for:
I am thankful for my family, friends, teachers and mentors.
I wonder if I can brighten someone’s day?
I hear waves crashing on the shore.
I see majestic mountains, enormous waterfalls, rainbows, and clouds shaped like animals.
I want to be a force for good in the world.
I am grateful for chocolate, warm blankets, running water, and so much more.
I pretend that I can snap my fingers and dinner will be cooked and the house cleaned.
I feel happy when I’m reading a great book.
I am appreciative of how hard my husband works and how much he makes us laugh.
I understand that learning should never end and knowledge gives us power.
I dream of a world at peace.
I try to be kind to everyone I encounter and learn something new each day.
I hope to travel to Africa, Costa Rica, Japan and many other places.
I am glad that I spend time with the people I love.

Grateful for toothbrushes, mouthwash, soap and other hygiene items!

I am so very thankful for public libraries!! I nearly always have 25-50 books checked out. I am grateful that they have books, audio books, CDs, DVDs, programs and so many other resources. In a book I read recently, author April Pulley Sayre defined librarians this way: "The heart of a school or other community, the person whose work energizes circulation, constantly refreshing the flow of knowledge among readers, writers, educators, classrooms, and curious beings in general. The folks who help human minds cross time and space to learn and cross-pollinate ideas. Also known as: the best chance the human race has of getting smarter over time and not repeating mistakes." Thank you libraries and librarians!

Love this new shirt that Alfredo bought for me!   And I love the new furniture we bought.  I'm sitting in front of Michelle's new headboard.  Then down below is Ella's new dresser and headboard.

I'm grateful for my good health. Grateful for doctors and modern medicine. Grateful that I am alive!

I am so thankful for the scriptures! I am so thankful for their power to improve my life and transform me. Elder Russell M. Nelson said, "The truths of the Book of Mormon have the power to heal, comfort, restore, succor, strengthen, console and cheer our souls."  I am grateful for their power in my life and in the lives of my family members!!

David Steindl-Rast said, "We have thousands of opportunities every day to be grateful: for having good weather, to have slept well last night, to be able to get up, to be healthy, to have enough to eat..There's opportunity upon opportunity to be grateful; that's what life is."

Today I am thankful for the amazing Young Women that I get to serve alongside. These are the 12-18 year old girls at my church (minus a couple who I don't have photos of...I need to remedy that). They are so much fun! But more important than being fun, these girls are kind, talented, loving, and so willing to help others. They make me laugh. And they remind me that with such hard-working, determined, intelligent and compassionate teenagers, our future is bright! I am so lucky to get to spend so much time with them.  And I absolutely love the other women that I have served alongside and that I'm currently serving alongside.  It's such a tremendous blessing to serve in the church!

Grateful for cell phones which make it easy to communicate with friends and family, near and far.

Grateful for a good night's sleep, new bedroom furniture, soft pillows and warm blankets

I am grateful for my eyes that I can see and my ears that I can hear. I can see the beauties of the Earth, the smiles on my children's faces, the words in books, flowers blooming, raindrops & snowflakes falling, stunning artwork, and a million other magnificent sights. I can hear babies coo, the laughter of my loved ones, the greetings of friends, the teachings of prophets, books on CD, glorious music, and so much more. I am thankful!

I have wonderful parents. My mom is intelligent, hard-working, patient, forgiving, and calm. So much of who I am I owe to her. As a child, I remember regular trips to the library and she read to us often, beginning my lifelong love of reading and learning. My mom was so calm and patient, never raising her voice or losing her temper (I want to be more like her in that way!) She serves faithfully in the church. She is a wonderful grandmother. My dad is intelligent and loving and a wonderful grandfather. He cares deeply about issues and about this nation. As a child, I remember listening to my dad, my grandpa and other adults discuss politics. We were never excluded from the conversation because they were talking about "adult" topics. I learned to think deeply and ask questions, and I learned that adults can disagree but not be disagreeable and can still love and respect one another. My stepdad is also such a blessing in my life. I have learned a great deal about loving others from him. He's tried to help me not take things quite so seriously and to find the humor in life (although I'm still pretty serious). My stepdad instituted regular family scripture study and family prayer in our home when he married my mom. I have such wonderful parents and I'm so very thankful for these and many other lessons I've learned from them.

I am thankful for my grandparents. Only one of my grandparents is still living, but they all lived into my adulthood and all taught me valuable lessons. I grew up just a couple of miles from my paternal grandparents and spent much of my childhood at their home. My maternal grandparents were here in Utah (while I was raised in AZ), but each summer my sisters and I would come spend most of the summer at their house. If I were to begin to describe my memories, this post would be book-length. So I'll stick to just a few highlights about each. My paternal grandfather encouraged us to ask questions, taught us to forgive others, and he was kind and gentle. (And he had the best sense of humor...a quirky sense of humor, but how I miss it!) My paternal grandmother was always serving others...whether it was taking a disabled friend to the grocery store, babysitting neighborhood children for free, or just lending a listening ear. She prayed every morning to have the opportunity to help someone and few days passed that she didn't find someone to help. My maternal grandfather is a quiet, calm man and a hard worker (much like his daughter, my mother). He loves animals and was a talented mechanie. My maternal grandmother was an expert gardener and seamstress. As little girls, my sisters and I spent countless hours picking raspberries and playing in her large yard/garden. She made many (probably most) of my clothes when I was a young child. I feel very blessed that I had my grandparents in my life for such a very long time. I was just telling a friend today about the big Christmas parties that we'd have at Sahuaro Ranch Park with my paternal grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. I remember being young and being excited to grow up and be allowed to participate in the white elephant gift exchange, because the adults seemed to have so much fun. I am so #thankful for my grandparents as well as aunts, uncles, and cousins!!

Even the Trees...Poem by Nikki Grimes (In her book Thanks A Million)
Trees, arms raised in praise,
demonstrate the attitude
of gratitude. Look!

I am thankful for this month where we take a moment to slow down and contemplate all that we have to be grateful for. I'm grateful for trees which do remind us to look up and give thanks. I'm grateful to have had the opportunity to do some traveling in my life and to have been able to see a wide wonder of beautiful trees (as well as rivers, waterfalls, flowers, buildings, people, etc.).

Bryce Canyon

Bryce Canyon

Torrey Pines State Park...San Diego

Muir Woods

Muir Woods

I'm grateful for friends. Friends that accept me for who I am and encourage me to become even better. Friends who seem to see only diamond when my coal-like self shines through. Friends who make me laugh & smile and sometimes roll my eyes. Friends who listen to my endless stories about what I've learned from whatever book I'm currently reading. Friends who have become like additional moms to my children. Colleagues who have become friends and with whom I have learned and grown so much. Friends who make my world a better and brighter place to live. Words can't adequately express my gratitude for friendship! I have the best people in my life and I truly am thankful and blessed!

Of course, my very greatest blessings are the gospel of Jesus Christ and my family.  I already mentioned my grandparents and parents.  I also have two absolutely amazing sisters.  They are intelligent, talented, compassionate, determined and such great examples.  I love them so very much!

And I have a wonderful husband and three beautiful children.  I've been thinking a lot lately about how grateful I am for Alfredo.  So many of my blessings are because of him.  We have a beautiful home that he is always improving in some way (as I type this, he is painting our downstairs family room!) He works hard.  He makes us all laugh so much!   He is a loyal friend.  He is intelligent.  He takes care of the yard (which I really appreciate because I don't like yard work at all.)  He cares for our dogs.  He does so much for all of us and I don't always take the time to show my appreciation. But I love him and I'm so very grateful for him.

My girls get lots of posts, but I just adore them.  They are growing up so fast!  Michelle is such a great helper.  She is enthusiastic about learning and about design.  She is very responsible.  She is a loving and loyal friend.  She really tries to do what is right.  She is very talented and so.very.beautiful!

Ella is so compassionate. She loves animals.  She does her homework as soon as she gets home from school each day.  She loves younger children.  She is intelligent.  She notices when others are lonely or sad and tries to brighten their day.  She is strong and has overcome some difficult challenges in her life.  I am certain she is going to do amazing things in her life.

Gabby is full of spark and personality.  Just one example...a couple of weeks ago, we were driving home from Michelle's violin lesson and we were playing 20 questions.  They were trying to guess what I was thinking of.  They asked, "Do we have this in our house?"  I said sometimes, but not right now.  Gabby said, "A good attitude?"  She makes us laugh all the time. She is a graceful dancer.  She is a loving friend.  She is also very intelligent. We love this sweet curly-haired girl!

I am so blessed!!

How Do I Show Christlike Love to Others?

I am the first counselor in Young Women's.  I love serving the Young Women and I love teaching.  I am absolutely certain that I learn more as I prepare the lesson than anyone learns from what I share.  So it's a tremendous blessing.  When I looked at the Come Follow Me lessons for October to determine which lesson I would teach, I immediately thought "I want to teach the lesson on gratitude...but I should teach the lesson on Christlike love."  With the spirit's gentle prodding, I decided to teach the lesson on showing Christlike love.  And it definitely was an opportunity for me to learn and feel the Spirit's gentle promptings responding to my query, "What lack I yet?"
***
I began my lesson by sharing a very short, simple picture book by Kadir Nelson If You Plant A Seed.  It is very short, but I think the illustrations are really lovely and show that we reap what we sow...whether that is selfishness or kindness. 

I asked the YW to close their eyes and picture someone they love very much.  Think about their good qualities, about the reasons you love them.  Now imagine you overheard someone saying something really unkind about them or criticizing them or refusing to forgive them for a small mistake or doing other mean things to that person.  How would you feel? 

Now picture someone that is hard for you to get along with.  Someone that you feel treats you poorly or that is annoying or that says and does hurtful things.  Perhaps someone that has betrayed you or gossiped about you or excluded you.  It is so hard to be kind and loving when you feel  you have been treated like that…but Heavenly Father feels about that person just as you feel about the first person I asked you to picture..the one that you love.  In fact, He loves your enemy MORE than you love your family member or friend.  He also loves you MORE than you can comprehend.  And when we choose to treat any person with disrespect or to be unkind or to refuse to forgive, any time we choose not to love, I am certain that our Father in Heaven is deeply saddened.  When I stop to remember (and I don’t always) that every person I interact with is a child of God, it truly changes my interactions with them.

I love this quote from C. S. Lewis in The Weight of Glory:   “It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long, we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealing with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations—these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit—immortal horrors or everlasting splendours.”

**That is pretty profound and pretty accurate…there are no ordinary people…and the way we treat others can either help them become better or worse. Remembering that every person I meet is a child of God and is loved by Him, really helps me to treat others with more love, kindness and compassion. 

I also shared this quote from President Eyring's talk in Conference.  He quoted Joseph Smith who said, “A man filled with the love of God, is not content with blessing his family alone, but ranges through the whole world, anxious to bless the whole human race.”   

We read D&C 121: 45  “Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.”**Having virtue garnish thy thoughts seems directly connected to having charity.  If you aren’t THINKING unkind things about yourself or others, then you are unlikely to speak or act in an unkind way.  If you are thinking things that are virtuous, kind and loving, you are much more likely to be guided by the spirit and have the opportunity to be a blessing in someone’s life. And as you do this, your confidence before God will increase and blessings will be bestowed upon you.

I asked the YW to come prepared to share examples from the scriptures of a time Christ showed love to others.  I asked them to share the story briefly but then after each example, I asked them to talk about how WE could show love to others in a similar way.  I encouraged them all to participate...and most of them did.  They shared stories about Christ healing the man blind from birth, Christ healing the woman taken in adultery, Christ forgiving Alma the Younger and wiping his sins away despite how he had gone around preaching against the church, Christ forgiving those who hung him on the cross,  Christ feeding the 5,000 with one loaf of bread and two fishes and a few other stories.  We talked about ways that we could also show love in similar ways, especially by withholding judgment and loving even those who are hard to love.  I shared the story from Elder Palmer's April 2016 Conference talk about Christ and the rich young man, and Christ, beholding him, loved him.  I loved that talk and paraphrased both the story and what it meant to Elder Palmer and what it means to me.  I'd also planned/hoped to talk about when Lazarus dies and how the Savior wept with Mary and Martha...despite knowing that he could bring Lazarus back from the dead, he had compassion on them.  But I didn't end up sharing that story.

As they shared, I had just a couple of quotes I wanted to share so I shared them as they fit in with stories they shared.

*Forgiving others:

President Uchtdorf said, "We are not perfect. The people around us are not perfect.¹⁹ People do things that annoy, disappoint, and anger. In this mortal life it will always be that way.  Nevertheless, we must let go of our grievances. Part of the purpose of mortality is to learn how to let go of such things. That is the Lord’s way. Remember, heaven is filled with those who have this in common: They are forgiven. And they forgive.”

*Sacrifice:

Elder John Vandenburg, back in April 1971 said, “What is the seed of mother love? Is it not sacrifice? Such love is considered to be the deepest and most tender. Is this because a mother passes through the valley of the shadow of death to give birth to her child and is continually sacrificing for that child’s welfare?

Is this why Christ loves the world? Because he toiled to make it? Because he sacrificed his life for the world and its people?… We all love that for which we sacrifice.”

So perhaps rather than love leading to sacrifice, perhaps sacrificing for someone else leads us to love them.  We can find ways to sacrifice for those around us in big and small ways.

*Kindness:

Joseph B. Wirthlin said, ““Kindness is the essence of a celestial life. Kindness is how a Christlike person treats others. Kindness should permeate all of our words and actions at work, at school, at church, and especially in our homes.  Jesus, our Savior, was the epitome of kindness and compassion.”

I shared information from this Deseret News article published on Friday.  Kalani Sitake is the coach at BYU.  Last week, BYU lost 40-24 to Utah State.  Two former BYU football players are on Utah State’s team.  It’s been a terrible season for BYU…one of the worst in many decades. But after the game, coach Sitake went over to two former players and congratulated them on their win and gave them each a hug. He told them he was proud of them.  He praised and encouraged them.  The father of one of the boys said this, “Some people might have said some of the words Kalani said, but the way he expressed what he felt about two players who were now “the enemy” so obviously came from his heart, from a place of feeling that most of us either can’t or won’t open up and let flow to others…was unforgettable. He gives of what is deep inside him-and he gives in good times and in bad. …After Kalani left we were stunned at the realization of what we had seen:  he had chosen to give a deep expression of love to two ex-players, who had contributed to his pain in the very moment of his pain.  I felt I had seen greatness.  A greatness of spirit.  Cougar or Ute or Aggie, I believe he represents the best of us.  Those of us who were there marveled that a coach, after his most disappointing month of coaching, after undoubtedly one of his most discouraging losses, a man who had to be filled with so much pain, anger and frustration at falling short; in that moment he gave freely of himself.”  **To me this is a great example of showing Christlike love.  Rather than turning away from those who contributed to his pain, he turned toward them and gave love freely. 

We then read 1 John 4: 10-11 and 3 Nephi 12: 39-48 (which is almost the same as Matthew 5 in the New Testament).  I especially emphasized verse 45: "But behold I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them who despitefully use you and persecute you;"

It's not enough to just avoid those who are unkind to you.  It's not enough to refuse to be unkind back.  We are asked to love our enemies, pray for them, do good to them.  We talked a little bit about how to go about that.  Our YW secretary read a little bit about grace and that through the Atonement, we can be enabled to do things we couldn't do on our own.  We talked about Sister Marriott's story from Women's Conference about praying to feel God's love for a family member that she had had a disagreement with over politics.  Through prayer and through Heavenly Father's help, we can learn to love our enemies...but it's probably going to take time to do it consistently, every time.  Thankfully when we fall short, we can repent and use the Savior's Atonement to help us do/become better.

I also shared the following excerpts from Sister Neill F. Marriott's recent talk in Women's Conference, Abiding in God and Repairing the Breach:  

"God wants us to change our selfishness into service, our fears into faith.”

“It is now, with our mortal limitations, that the Father asks us to love when loving is most difficult, to serve when serving is inconvenient, to forgive when forgiving is soul stretching. How? How will we do it? We earnestly reach for Heavenly Father’s help, in the name of His Son, and do things His way instead of pridefully asserting our own will.”

“Perhaps our life in a loving premortal world set up our yearning for true, lasting love here on earth. We are divinely designed to give love and be loved, and the deepest love comes when we are one with God. The Book of Mormon invites us to “be reconciled unto [God] through the atonement of Christ.”

“I had learned that Heavenly Father will help us love even those we may think are unlovable, if we plead for His aid. The Savior’s Atonement is a conduit for the constant flow of charity from our Father in Heaven. We must choose to abide in this love in order to have charity for all.

When we give our heart to the Father and the Son, we change our world—even if circumstances around us do not change.”

President Uchtdorf said,  “God motivates through persuasion, long-suffering, gentleness, meekness, and love unfeigned.⁸ God is on our side. He loves us, and when we stumble, He wants us to rise up, try again, and become stronger.

He is our mentor.

He is our great and cherished hope.

He desires to stimulate us with faith.

He trusts us to learn from our missteps and make correct choices.

This is the better way!”

We ended by watching this video, We Don't Need to Be the Same to Be One.