I think there is probably more to this than I can adequately express in words, but here are some parts of why I don't feel upset.
1. Just this week in Come Follow Me, we read 2 Corinthians 2:5-8
It tells us to forgive, then comfort and then confirm your love toward the person who hurts you. So my thoughts since yesterday have been primarily thinking about how I can comfort and confirm my love for the person who was thoughtless and unkind.
2. I recognize more and more how much grace and love and mercy I need from my Savior. And because I so desperately want that, I want to try really hard to extend that to others. It isn't easy...and I don't think it is meant to be...but a disciple's life isn't always easy but it is worth it.
3. I long to feel peace. Being angry or upset messes with my ability to feel peace. I headed to the temple last night and felt peace in abundance. I felt my Savior's love for me but also for the person who did something hurtful. And I felt His power.
4. About a year and a half ago, I went through some experiences where I really studied the Sermon on the Mount and really pondered these words in Matthew 5:
"So I believe that Jesus did not intend His sermon on this subject to be a verbal hammer for battering us about our shortcomings. No, I believe He intended it to be a tribute to who and what God the Eternal Father is and what we can achieve with Him in eternity. In any case, I am grateful to know that in spite of my imperfections, at least God is perfect—that at least He is, for example, able to love His enemies, because too often, due to the “natural man”6 and woman in us, you and I are sometimes that enemy. How grateful I am that at least God can bless those who despitefully use Him because, without wanting or intending to do so, we all despitefully use Him sometimes. I am grateful that God is merciful and a peacemaker because I need mercy and the world needs peace. Of course, all we say of the Father’s virtues we also say of His Only Begotten Son, who lived and died unto the same perfection."
God and the Savior are perfect and can live this law and I want so very much to become like them!
Elder Holland then repeated the parable of the servant who was in debt 10,000 talents and was forgiven but would not forgive a 100 pence debt.
I don't know how to articulate what these words meant to me or exactly what they taught me. But over the process of about 5 months, I listened to this talk many times and referred to this last paragraph in my prayers over and over...praying for help to speak and act, love and forgive, repent and improve at least at the 100 pence level of perfection...which frankly didn't always seem possible. There were days when I sobbed, recognizing how hard it was for me to speak and act in loving ways when it is soul-stretching to do so. I'd always thought I was pretty good at being loving, but I came to clearly see how often I withheld love when I was hurt or angry or sometimes even just tired. It was heart wrenching to me to see so completely my human frailty. And I still have so much of it. I still don't find it easy to always speak and act, love and forgive, repent and improve at the 100 pence level. And after a year and a half, I feel like I should be able to go to at least the 200 pence level. But I am seeing progress. It is getting easier. Maybe because I've gained some spiritual gifts...but mostly because I have learned to rely so much more on the Savior for help. Which brings me to my next part...which is connected to this but feels like it is also good to separate out.