Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Abuela

Grandma Mercedes died on Thursday night. She is Alfredo's paternal grandma. She was 85 and her health was poor. She got pneumonia a couple of weeks ago, and she didn't recover. We went to visit her the night before she passed. Two feelings overcame me...one was a feeling of love for his aunts, uncles and cousins and sadness that they were about to lose someone they loved and for the pain they were feeling. That sadness for them brought tears to my eyes. And the second feeling was completely unexpected...as I stood next to her, the veil felt thin and this joy overcame me. How lucky she is to be done with this life and its challenges and difficulties! How joyous to be with loved ones. I honestly stood next to her feeling joy and jealousy. All weekend, there has been a part of me that has felt anxious to go HOME...back to my real home, to leave this frail existence and lay this mortal by. I know my time has not come, and really, I hope it doesn't come very soon. I want to raise my children and see them grow up, marry, have children. But oh, how I long to return to my Father. To be reunited with grandparents, my uncle Phil, great grandparents and others. To bathe my Savior's feet with my tears.

I am reminded of a country song that I haven't heard in a long time that I love, Temporary Home by Carrie Underwood:

Little boy, six years old
A little too used to being alone
Another new mom and dad
Another school, another house that will never be home
When people ask him how he likes this place
He looks up and says with a smile upon his face

This is my temporary home, it's not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I'm passing through
This is just a stop on the way to where I'm going
I'm not afraid because I know
This is my temporary home

Young mom, on her own
She needs a little help, got nowhere to go
She's looking for a job, looking for a way out
'Cause a halfway house will never be a home
At night she whispers to her baby girl
"Someday we'll find our place here in this world"

This is our temporary home, it's not where we belong
Windows and rooms that we're passing through
This is just a stop on the way to where we're going
I'm not afraid because I know
This is our temporary home

Old man, hospital bed
The room is filled with people he loves
And he whispers
"Don't cry for me, I'll see you all someday"
He looks up and says
"I can see God's face"

This is my temporary home, it's not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I'm passing through
This was just a stop on the way to where I'm going
I'm not afraid because I know
This was my temporary home

This is our temporary home

***
Now I just have to live so that I can receive that permanent, eternal home with my family and Savior.

Monday, April 28, 2014

Prayer

A week ago, one of my uncles posted a quote about praying on his Facebook page. It said real men pray and he commented about his dad praying daily (my grandpa.). One of my other uncles posted a comment that he used to pray and hope that God would do what he wanted. He said he is much happier now because he works hard to make what he wants happen and knows that the world is made a better place through action not prayer/hope.

I have been reflecting on this for days. Why do I pray? What value does it have? What blessings have come into my life as a result of prayer? Twice I started to post a response but felt like my response may not come across as loving and kind (I often worry about disagreeing at all online because when you can't hear the tone of voice and so on, intentions may be misread and I don't want to unintentionally offend) but did want to express what I truly believe. I decided I needed to ponder this and then record my thoughts.

One of my first thoughts was the quote, "Pray as if everything depends on The Lord, but then work as if everything depends on us." My sweet sister actually posted that quote on Facebook in a very kind response in which she said she respects my uncle's viewpoint but doesn't think they have to be mutually exclusive. She is the best. Not afraid to share her beliefs publicly, but able to do it in a positive, respectful, loving way.
I want to be more like her.

So why DO I pray?

1. Prayers are answered. Yesterday I blogged about Ella's heart surgery. Everything went better than expected. She was blessed in countless ways. I have no doubt that was an answer to prayers. I have had numerous times when my prayers have been answered. Some have been big things, many have been small things. There have been times when something has been lost and I've prayed and a thought has come into my mind and I have found the object. There have been times when I have had a feeling I needed to stop to visit someone or call them, and I have, and they have needed that and it was an answer to their prayers or vice versa times when people have provided service to me when I needed it but hadn't told anyone that I did. When I was called as RS President, I began to pray about who my counselors should be. I had some people in my mind, but as I prayed about who I should call, the answers came very clearly. One of my counselors I had never even spoken to before. She is shy and I was in Primary and she was relatively new in the ward. She was not one of the people that came to mind immediately, but she absolutely was meant to be one of my counselors along with my other counselor and secretary. And they have blessed my life immensely. I love them so much.

2. Prayer, when sincere and with the right spirit, humbles us. It is not about making The Lord give us what we want but about aligning our will with His. It is about coming to recognize that God can strengthen you so that you can endure trials with faith and courage and learning to trust that He knows what you need better than you do. I love this quote from Elder Scott, "His invitation, 'Ask and ye shall receive' (3 Nephi 27:29) does not assure you that you will get what you want. It does guarantee that, if worthy, you will get what you need, as judged by a Father in Heaven that loves you perfectly, who wants your eternal happiness even more than you do." (Richard G. Scott, Oct. 1995 conference). I also love these verses in Mosiah 24: 14-15 where he does not remove the trials and bondage that the people are under but he does strengthen them to be able to bear them, "And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a suretx that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.
And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord."

So true prayer is not to get The Lord do our will, but about us coming to accept and do His will.

3. Prayer strengthens our relationship with our Father. I have had the spirit witness that I am a beloved child of God and that God lives. That Jesus Christ lives. It makes no sense to pray if you don't believe in God. But I do, with all my heart. I pray to communicate with my Father. If we want to build a relationship with someone, we spend time with them. We talk to them, confide in them, share ourselves with them. If we want a relationship with our Father, we need to do the same. We spend time with him and communicate with him as we kneel in prayer, pour out our heart to Him, and as we study the scriptures and listen for the spirit. I love Alma 37 where it lists all the things we should pray for and the times when we should pray.

4. Prayer is a way to show our love for our fellowman. Often those we love face difficult challenges. We yearn to help them or to ease their burden. We can show love for them by doing what we can to help...listening, taking a meal, helping with a child, or doing countless other acts of service. But in addition to these acts of service, which we should provide if we are able, we can pray for that loved one. No matter where they are or what situation they are facing or what our ability is to help them, we can pray for them. These prayers are both a way to show our love AND a way to increase our love for them.

5. Prayer helps us overcome our personal weaknesses. Prayer can help us forgive others who have wronged us. It helps us to be more patient, kind, more aware of others' feelings. It helps us overcome addiction, anger, pride or other sins and weaknesses we have.

6. Prayer can comfort us when sad, worried or sorrowful. Prayer invites the spirit, the Comforter, to come and abide with us.

7. We are encouraged to seek revelation and guidance from the Holy Ghost. Most often that guidance comes after we have asked in prayer.

8. Prayer protects us against the adversary, the devil, who is also very real. "Pray always that you may come off conqueror; yea that you might conquer Satan, and that you may escape the hands of the servant of Satan that do uphold his work." (D&C 10:5)

9. Going back to the first quote...pray as if everything depended on The Lord, work as if everything depended upon you. Faith, without works, is dead. So too, our prayers are not very meaningful or valid if we expect that we can pray and just expect blessings without actions, without work.
“I long have been impressed with the truth that meaningful prayer requires both holy communication and consecrated work. Blessings require some effort on our part before we can obtain them… We press forward and persevere in the consecrated work of prayer, after we say “amen” by acting upon the things we have expressed to Heavenly Father.” ~Elder David A. Bednar, Ask in Faith.

I have seen prayer change hearts and lives. It changes me. It brings me joy and peace. I truly believe that miracles have NOT ceased and I see evidence of them regularly. I cannot imagine my life without prayer.

Why do you pray?

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Family History Journal: Health

Question 20: What medical issues have you dealt with?
I have been blessed with good health. The only times I have been hospitalized were to deliver my babies. I have only broken one bone on my body...the big toe on my right foot. I never had to have stitches for injuries. Never had a concussion. Never been badly burned (well, I have been sunburned on several occasions but not severely sunburned...enough to peel and be uncomfortable but no third degree burns of any kind). I get colds and viruses. When I first started teaching I seemed to get laryngitis each year. I've had chicken pox...and that was the pits. I hate to itch. Hate it! An I got the chicken pox in fourth grade the week before Christmas. I had to miss a week of school. And that year my school had man made snow delivered to our playground and each class got to build a snowman. (Growing up in Phoenix, we didn't have real snow...this was a big deal. A once in a childhood opportunity.). My class won the snowman building contest and if I remember correctly their picture was in the newspaper. And I missed it all. Missed the Christmas party. It was miserable.

But other than chicken pox, I have really been blessed with good health. No chronic health problems, no serious illnesses or injuries.

The hardest health challenge I have experienced was not my own, but my daughter's. When Ella was four months old, the pediatrician noticed she had a heart murmur. We were referred to Primary Children's Hospital. We took Ella up there for a chest X-ray, EKG and echocardiogram. We had a wonderful cardiologist, Susan Etheridge. And we discovered that Ella had VSD...ventricular septal defect...or a hole in her heart. It is the most common congenital heart defect. There was a chance it may close on its own, so they wanted to watch and see...every 3-4 months, we returned to Primary to see Dr. Etheridge and to have more echoes and chest x-rays. When Ella was 18 months, they decided she did need surgery. It was scheduled for December 17, a Thursday, at 1 PM. Ella was 19 months old. The surgery would take about 3-4 hours and they expected her to be hospitalized for 4-7 days. In order to perform the surgery, they have to crack the rib cage, stop the heart...then use a pump (like a pacemaker) to keep blood flowing, and put in a little patch where the hole is. The heart would then heal around the patch and she would be fine. It was scary, because they have to warn you of all the things that might go wrong...her heart might not start again, it could mess up the electrical impulses between her heart and brain, etc. etc. As if I wasn't nervous enough. While they performed me surgery, they found a second, smaller hole in her atrial valve. That hole was small enough they would not have performed surgery to close it...but it may have led to migraines or other minor problems...and since they had her open, they sewed that hole shut with a couple of stitches. Pretty miraculous.

It was hard to go through, but I know many others have experienced much harder things. And there were miracles along the way. Ella had to have RSV shots because children with VSD are prone to respiratory infections and other issues...but Ella hardly even got colds in her first 19 months. She was able to wait until she was 19 months old to have the surgery rather than having it earlier. The surgery went perfectly, and she healed much faster than they expected. By Saturday night, they wanted her to move around a bit and so Alfredo took her in a wagon for a ride. She wanted to get out and walk, and he asked if that was okay. They said yes. She didn't just walk...she ran. H was chasing her, hoping she wouldn't fall and open the stitches in her chest. Sunday morning she was released...3 days (and not even full days) after the surgery. We got home and she was climbing stairs and running. She was so resilient. One of Alfredo's adult friends had open heart surgery a couple of months before and he spent weeks in bed and coughing or laughing put him in tremendous pain for quite some time. Here Ella was laughing and running and doing so well. It thrilled and worried me (that she would fall and get hurt). I know that her quick recovery was due to the prayers of so many family and friends and the priesthood blessings she received...as well as the wonderful care she received from doctors, nurses and others. And while I would not wish something like this on anyone, I was overwhelmed by the love showed to our family by neighbors, friends, ward members and family. Meals, gifts for our kids, phone calls to see if we needed anything from the grocery store, and so on. I felt an outpouring of love that has only been rivaled by the weeks immediately following my call as Relief Society President. Often, in the years since, when I have felt lonely or unpopular, I have remembered that experience and have known that many people love my family...even if I wasn't able to see/feel that right that moment. It has been a sustaining experience.

Six weeks after her surgery, Ella got RSV and influenza B. She was hospitalized again for a couple of days. Again, it was scary...and yet comforting to see the wonderful care she was receiving, to know that she would be okay, and to feel the love and support of those around us. By one year after her surgery, her heart was completely normal. There was a noticeable difference in the size of her heart when they showed us chest X-rays from before/after. After a year a half, we were told we didn't have to come back, we didn't have to inform anyone that she'd ever had heart surgery (like the school or sports teams) and she had no activity restrictions. She should live a long and perfectly healthy life.

I am grateful for how blessed we have been!

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Family History Journal: What Scares You?

Question 39:  What scares you?  from 52 Questions, 52 Weeks.

I am a bit of a scaredy cat.  There are lots of things that scare me.

I am scared of heights.  I really, really don't like being up in high places where I feel like I could fall.  There are a few exceptions, but generally, I really don't like heights.

I don't like spiders.  Logically, I know that most of them are helpful.  Yet seeing a spider in my home still creates an illogical fear inside me.

I am scared of and don't like most roller coasters.  I don't like the sensation of dropping or flipping upside down.  It both scares me and makes me feel sick.  When we go to amusement parks, I am very happy to stay in the kid area with my younger girls while Alfredo and Michelle (and ocassionally Ella) ride the scarier rides.

I am a tiny bit claustrophobic.  I can be in small spaces as long as nothing is covering my face.  I can't stand having a blanket on top of my face...it makes me feel a bit panicky.  But I can go in caves with no problem.  In college, there were some caves in Spanish Fork (I think?) that we would sometimes go to.  There was one place where you had to lie down and slither through and it was pretty tight.  That didn't bother me at all, but one of my roommates couldn't go.  She was very claustrophobic.  But if my kids and I play hide n seek inside the house, the worst place for me to hide is under covers on a bed...it really does make me start to feel panicky.

I don't really enjoy most risky things.  I have no desire to sky dive or bungee jump or dive off cliffs into a lake.  Things like that don't appeal to me.

I have become a little bit braver as I have become older.  When I was younger, I really didn't like to try things that I might not be successful at.  I am pretty clumsy and uncoordinated, and I have never been good at sports.  But a couple of years ago, I ran a half marathon.  That was a big accomplishment for me.  I gave birth to two of my children naturally.  I had wisdom teeth pulled without being put under or getting laughing gas...they just numbed the area and pulled them out.  Small things, but still brave for me.  I am more willing to  try things as I get older, probably because I realize that even if I fail, it won't be that big of a deal and because I have realized that I am stronger than I used to think.

But still, I am more on the timid side of the spectrum than the brave side.  I am not very outgoing but I'm working on that.  On the other hand, public speaking makes me a tiny bit nervous but doesn't fill me with dread.  In fact, I would much rather have to speak in church or give a presentation at work than mingle with strangers at a party.  I feel like I am better at speaking when I have a clear focus and a chance to prepare my thoughts than when I just need to engage in a conversation, particularly with strangers.

I am not scared of dying, but I am scared of suffering.  I don't know how well I would cope with extreme and/or ongoing pain.  I hope I would  be brave and maintain a good attitude and retain hope, but I don't know if I would.

Sometimes I feel scared about the future and what will happen to my children and someday grandchildren.   I worry about the choices they will make and whether I have taught them well enough.  But when I study the scriptures and listen to conference messages, I feel there is much more reason to rejoice and hope and trust than to be afraid.

So all in all, quite a few things I am scared of!  :)

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Spring Break Activities

Spring break has been wonderful! Just what we all needed. The girls all got new swim suits so they have been very anxious to go swimming. So on Tuesday night we went to the West Valley indoor pool to swim.
Here they are showing off their new swim suits...and their silliness.

On Wednesday, we went to a park and played for an  hour.  The girls had fun.  For a long time, Gabby was scared of slides.  She didn't really even like baby slides.  But in the past year, she has gotten over that fear/dislike of slides and now she enjoys them.



Wednesday evening, we dyed Easter eggs.  Usually I just use food coloring and bowls, but this year I saw a small kit that came with little roller brushes that you could use to roll on the coloring or even make a sponge painting effect.  So I bought the kit.  The girls had a great time decorating their eggs.  They turned out quite pretty.








Friday, April 18, 2014

Museum of Ancient Life--Thanksgiving Point

A friend was able to tour the Museum of Curiosity opening soon at Thanksgiving Point.  She loved it.  Her kids loved it!   I can hardly wait to go.  So, it got me thinking about Thanksgiving Point.  It's a bit of a drive, so we don't go there often.  In fact, I have only taken my kids to the Museum of Ancient Life there once.  Years ago.  Long enough ago that they barely remember it (and Gabby doesn't remember it at all.  Can't remember if we went before she was born or when she was a baby.)  So I looked into memberships and decided that a membership to Thanksgiving Point would be a good idea.  A membership gets us into the Farm, The Museum of Ancient Life, the Gardens, and The Museum of Curiosity.  So we bought a membership on Tuesday and enjoyed several hours at the Museum of Ancient Life.  It was the perfect time to buy a membership because apparently they are going up in price in a few weeks.

We spent probably 30 minutes in the Tinkering exhibit.  It is very hands on and was lots of fun.  The girls loved these spinning wheels with sand on them.  There were different tools that you could use and make different designs and shapes in the sand.  They spent a long time experimenting with the sand wheels.


I enjoyed spinning a huge bingo type wheel filled with words.  You then pulled out certain colors and arranged them in certain patterns to create interesting phrases/sentences.  Some of them were poetic sounding.
There was also what looked like a photo booth. You went inside and pressed a button. It counted down and then snapped a photo...but because the room was dark...it created a frozen shadow on the wall. The girls and I had fun jumping and posing a lifting each other up to create interesting shadows on the wall. You could make patterns with pattern blocks, experiment with electric circuits, have races with two cars with sails in front of wind and other activities. It was very fun.


And of course, we enjoyed seeing the dinosaur bones. It is pretty remarkable to see the size of some of these dinosaurs like the camarasaurus. The girls don't even reach to its knee. They enjoyed a computer program where you could mix different dinosaur heads, middles and bottoms. They loved playing in the sand pit.





We had a great time...and happily we can go back again soon. And we can go to the farm, the gardens and The Museum of Curiosity when it opens. We also got a coupon to bring a photographer and get photos taken in the garden. Awesome!!

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Random Things to Remember

 Gabby does not like to color.  Well, that's not quite accurate.  She does not like to be given coloring homework.  She does not really like to color in coloring books.  She is more than happy to be given blank paper and be able to draw her own picture, but she hates being told to color things a certain way.  She DOES love to paint.  Loves it.  She also loves to play with play-dough.  A couple of weeks ago, she spent at least an hour on a Friday night playing with play-dough and making "dinner" for me.
 Gabby loves to make silly faces.  I am not sure what it is about taking photos, but all 3 of my kids tend to pose for the camera, make faces, and ham it up.   Also, recently Gabby has started calling me "Mama".   My other girls call me Mom or Mommy.  Gabby used to.  But now she calls me "Mama".  Do you like this, Mama?  I'm good at that, right, Mama.  Did you see me, Mama?  It is so sweet in her voice.
Michelle is growing up far too quickly for my liking.  However, it has been such a big help to have a child that is so responsible and that I can trust to be in charge of her sisters while I run short errands or visit sisters in the neighborhood.  She has made a new friend.  She asks nearly every Thursday and/or Friday if she can play with Peyton.  One evening a couple of weeks ago, we were able to have Peyton come spend about 3 or 3 1/2 hours at our house.  She is quiet and shy but she and Michelle have a great time together.

I am not sure why I snapped the following photos, but they sure are cute girls.  I am rather fond of them.  And as I said, they are hams.




I forgot to mention on my post about conference that Michelle was able to attend the Saturday morning session of conference.  My dad, her grandpa, got two tickets to conference and invited her to attend with him.  She was so excited.  She really enjoyed going.  This was the second time she has been able to attend conference in the conference center.

Michelle has this white board in her room. All 3 girls love to write on it.  They love to play school and put problems on it.  They make seating charts for their imaginary students.  They write each other notes on it.  Sometimes they write me notes.  (Some are naughty, some are nice.  One child likes to write angry notes when she gets into trouble.)  A couple of days ago, I walked into Michelle's room and saw that she had written notes about how great chores are.  (Lest you be deceived, this was written to convince her sisters to do their chores and not because she actually loves chores that much.  Still I thought it was cute.   Maybe I'll have to show her the picture next time she groans about doing chores.)



 We have a small tree house in our backyard.  Alfredo built it a few years ago.  But the wood floor was starting to rot, so Alfredo has torn most of it apart and is rebuilding it.  The girls have enjoyed helping him...holding wood in place as he screws it in, dragging wood to him, helping him measure, etc.  Michelle is our daredevil child, so she also has enjoyed using the wood as a balance beam.  It will be a few weeks until it is done, but I am sure it will be great.  The girls are very excited about it.

We are on spring break this week.  It has been lovely.  I have been lazy.  I had a list of things to get done, and I have not done most of them.  But I have played with my kids, taken them on a couple of outings, taken a couple of naps, read and relaxed.  I went to the temple with a couple of ladies in my ward.  I have enjoyed the beautiful spring weather.  We met Alfredo for lunch one day.  Today, Ella has been sick.  I think she slept for nearly four hours of the day.  I was able to lay down with her and snuggle under blankets for awhile.  It has not been as productive as it should have been, but it has been relaxing and fun.  I have had a chance to really reflect on my Savior and contemplate his Atonement.  It has been exactly what we needed to recharge and prepare for the last two months of school.  Oh, how very thankful I am for this family I have been blessed with!

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Conference Reflections

I am a little slow.  I posted thoughts about Saturday sessions of Conference on Saturday...and then I never posted thoughts about the Sunday.  So here I am to post a few reflections.

First, we hung pictures of the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve on the wall.  I bought sticky notes so that at the end of each talk, each of us could write a favorite quote or a summary of the talk...what stood out to us.  I found some cute sticky notes that looked like thought bubbles, and for the most part it kept my children and our two neighbor children (who joined us for Saturday's sessions) quite engaged.  Especially in conjunction with completing the conference packets they were given by the Primary Presidency and listening for key words that allowed them to jump up and get a treat (some healthy, most not so healthy).  There was only one problem.  The cute thought bubble sticky notes weren't so sticky.   They mostly fell off on the ground.  I guess, in a way, that provided an extra challenge, because after each session of conference, we would pick up the notes littering the ground and try to restick them to the correct person.

See what  I mean:

 But all in all, it was still pretty successful.  And I felt so inspired and thankful to hear the counsel given.  My favorite talks were probably President Uchtdorf's and Elder Andersen and Elder Bednar's.  However, Elder Perry's talk probably best answered the personal question I went to conference with.  And  I don't know that I listened very carefully to Elder Christofferson's talk during conference.  But I reread it on Sunday as I prepared Family Home Evening for this week.  He bore powerful testimony of the Savior's Atonement.  It was beautiful.  So was Elder Amado's testimony of the Savior.



One thing that stuck out to me was that I finished conference with a list of ideas for activities and lessons to do in Family Home Evening to better teach my children the messages from conference.  I have ideas for 10 different lessons based on the talks given in conference.

Another thing that stuck out to me is that we must decide now to stand faithful.  Challenging times are coming.  Challenging times are here.  But if we stay on the Lord's side of the line, He will not abandon us or leave us comfortless.  It reminds me of Elisha in 2 Kings 6:16, "And he answered, Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them."

I was really touched by Elder Michael John Teh's talk about our priorities.  He asked us whether we are chasing things of a temporal or spiritual nature.  He spoke about our priorities, desires and appetites.  It is far too easy for me to get caught up in the world and thinking about and worrying about things of a temporal nature.  I want to be sure that my true treasure is things of the spirit.

Perhaps the talk that most affected me was President Uchtdorf's talk.  His language was so beautiful.  It seemed that nearly every line was quotable.  Here are a few of the lines that stood out to me:

"But those who set aside the bottle of bitterness and lift instead the goblet of gratitude can find a purifying drink of healing, peace, and understanding."

"Commandments are opportunities to exercise our agency and to receive blessings. Our loving Heavenly Father knows that choosing to develop a spirit of gratitude will bring us true joy and great happiness."

"Could I suggest that we see gratitude as a disposition, a way of life that stands independent of our current situation? In other words, I’m suggesting that instead of being thankful for things, we focus on being thankful in our circumstances—whatever they may be."

"This type of gratitude transcends whatever is happening around us. It surpasses disappointment, discouragement, and despair. It blooms just as beautifully in the icy landscape of winter as it does in the pleasant warmth of summer."

And one final quote:
"There seems to be something inside of us that resists endings.  Why is this? Because we are made of the stuff of eternity. .. Endings are not our destiny.
The more we learn about the gospel of Jesus Christ, the more we realize that endings here in mortality are not endings at all. They are merely interruptions—temporary pauses that one day will seem small compared to the eternal joy awaiting the faithful.  How grateful I am to my Heavenly Father that in His plan there are no true endings, only everlasting beginnings."

Bishop Stevenson's talk about our Four Minutes on Earth really touched me as well.  

So much inspiration, guidance, wisdom and most of all LOVE.  I know that God loves me.  I know that he is aware of me.  I am so thankful that He knew what I needed to hear...that He answered the questions I had AND he answered questions that I didn't even know I had.  I am so thankful!


Monday, April 14, 2014

Family History Journal: Favorite and Least Favorite Subjects

Questions 15 and 16 from 52 Questions, 52 Weeks:   What were your favorite subjects in school?  Why?   What were your least favorite subjects in school?  Why?

My favorite subject was reading as a child.  I learned to read when I was about three and I loved to read as a child.   I read a lot.  As I got older, I came to really like history and anthropology.  I love to read historical fiction and to learn about other groups of people and their cultures.   A couple of my favorite classes in college were anthropology classes.  I took enough classes to have a minor in anthropology...but I somehow never officially declared that as a minor and didn't have to have a minor so I graduated without an official minor...

I always did well in math.  Until Calculus.  I took AP Calculus as a senior in high school.  I didn't really get it.  I must have kind of gotten it because I got a 3 on the AP test...a passing score although not a high score.  But it didn't make a ton of sense to me.  I think most of my life, I was taught formulas and algorithms to solve math and I had a good memory and so I could apply the algorithm and get an accurate answer.  But I didn't really understand why it worked or what I was doing.   That is why I actually really prefer the way we teach math now.  I know some people think it is confusing or requires too many steps, but because we spend more time on WHY something works and show students several algorithms or several ways to get answers, I think they have a better chance of really understanding math.   And I think it allows them to be more flexible and to find strategies that work for them, and to find strategies that work for mental math without a calculator.   Because really...who wants to use the traditional algorithm to do long division or a big subtraction problem in their brain.? Not me.

As far as subjects I didn't like.  I genuinely loved school.  I liked most of my teachers.  I was a good student.  But I never did like science.  It actually kind of terrified me.  In elementary school, most of my science was taught by reading textbooks.  That changed in 5th and 6th grade when I had a very hands on teacher.   Although I think she favored social studies over science.   In junior high we suddenly had to do a few labs.   That honestly terrified me.  I don't remember having a bad experience.   But in junior high, high school, and even a bit in college, I dreaded labs and always hoped for a good partner that would do most of the work.  I felt terrified of doing the lab wrong or getting the wrong result.  I never felt like I understood science.  Ironically, I got A's in every science class...except perhaps an A- in one in college (can't remember for certain).  Perhaps even more ironically, I love teaching science now.   I try to read a lot of interesting and engaging nonfiction to my children and my students.  I try to do a lot of hands on activities.  I think science is one of the most exciting subjects to teach (partly because we do NOT have a textbook that I have to follow.   I do have to teach the science CORE but I can determine what books, activities and experiments will best help me do that.)

As an adult, I still love to read.  I still love history.  I would really like to get my masters in math teaching...because I think it is interesting and because I think I am a good math teacher but maybe not  a great one.  My good friend Brenda and I were going to start a math endorsement together this year.   It would get me about 2/3 of the way towards my master's degree.  But The Lord had other plans for me.  When I was called as RS president, I knew there was no way I could do both.  So it will wait.  And that's okay.  Some day I will get my master's degree but it may be another decade.   Or maybe I won't.  Maybe there will continue to be other more important ways to spend my time.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Because of Him


This is a beautiful video reminding us why we celebrate Easter and how our lives are changed by Him.
Because of Him

I am so thankful for my Savior.

Because of Him, I can feel peace and joy even during trials and hard times.

Because of Him, I can learn to love and serve others and develop true charity.

Because of Him, I can repent and change and become better day by day.

Because of Him, I WILL be resurrected.

Because of Him, I WILL see my beloved uncle, grandparents, and others who have passed away again.

Because of Him, families can be forever. I can live with my family eternally and be saved.

Because of Him, I can learn to be a better missionary, gospel teacher, and Relief Society President.

Because of Him, I am a better mother and wife and neighbor and friend.

Because of Him, there is hope. Always there is hope.

Because of Him, all things are possible.

Monday, April 7, 2014

There is hope

Always there is hope. Though there are storms raging, both literally and figuratively. Though persecution and criticism will come as we follow Christ, there is hope. Peace. Joy. As we follow our Savior.

Sometimes I begin to worry about the future. About my children and the choices they will make. About the wickedness of the world around me. About family and friends whose faith is faltering. About the directions public education is heading. About ward members who face difficult challenges. About whether I can and will remain faithful, and whether those I love most will as well. But conference fills my soul and reminds me that despite the whirlwinds, there IS hope. Our leaders, who are so very aware of our challenges, concerns, and needs and who know the difficulties the future will hold, are optimistic and happy. They teach us to be grateful, hold onto our faith, and defend our beliefs. Storms WILL come, and challenges will abound. Wickedness will increase, but so will faith and goodness. Tonight, as I was searching out scriptures quoting gratitude, I stumbled upon these verses that brought me great comfort..."We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down but not destroyed... For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:8-9, 17-18)

So I will try to set down my bottle of bitterness and lift the gauntlet of gratitude. I will strive to recognize that as winds strengthen trees, so too, challenges strengthen us. That the loads we carry create necessary spiritual traction. I look forward to studying more closely the talks by President Uchtdorf, Elder Andersen and Elder Bednar's to better see the connections between them. It is a glorious thing to be a member of this church which is led by prophets and apostles.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Foods from childhood: Family History Journal

24: What are two or three foods that your mom or dad cooked when you were a child that always make you smile to remember them?

My mom worked full time and was on a very limited budget. I am sure she cooked dinner often, but I don't have many strong memories of meals she prepared. Cooking is not something she particularly enjoys. The one thing we all really loved was a stir fry dish with kielbasa sausage. I remember that we kids all thought there were too many vegetables and not enough kielbasa, but we loved the flavor of the sausage and the stir fry as a whole.

My paternal grandma was quite a good cook, and as she cared for us after school while my parents worked, we often ate at her house. One of the meals she made often that I loved was a homemade macaroni and cheese with tomatoes. I didn't LOVE the tomatoes, but I loved the macaroni and the crispy cheese. It was so good. I wish I had asked her for the recipe before she died. I have tried a couple of recipes off the Internet but they just aren't quite the same.

The third recipe I loved that my grandma made was called Skoussen enchiladas. They were a cheesy, mild green enchilada casserole but instead of using tortillas and rolling the chicken up in tortillas, they were made with crushed tortilla chips and the ingredients were layered. Tortilla chips, then chicken, cheese, and green enchilada sauce that I think had cream of mushroom soup and green chiles and sour cream. Then repeat the layers and top with cheese. Bake and enjoy!

I loved being at my grandparents' home as a child. I feel blessed to have grown up so close to my grandma and grandpa. Thinking of these dishes reminds me of many happy memories with them, my sisters, my parents, and often aunts, uncles and cousins gathered together.

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Top ten quotes

Is it irreverent to post a top ten list of favorite quotes from conference? I hope not...

I absolutely love conference. I love the spirit I feel. I love having my faith and testimony strengthened. I love feeling my Savior's love for me. I love hearing what my children learn. Perhaps my favorite thing is that each session seems tailor made for me...and that the things that stand out to me aren't necessarily the same as what stand out to others. That while we can be listening to the same words, our hearts and spirits can take in individual messages about things we need to know and DO to draw nearer to our Savior, to teach our families, to magnify our callings, etc. Today has been wonderful.

And now for my top ten favorite quotes of the day (in the order they spoke):
1. Elder Holland: "Defend your beliefs with courtesy and compassion, but defend them."
(I should note that I have made every effort to make sure I have quoted them correctly, however, the transcripts of conference are not yet up so if I have made small errors, I apologize in advance.)
2. Linda Reeves: "Remember how merciful The Lord is. The Savior has power to cleanse and heal you."
3. Linda Reeves: "Youth, take responsibility for your own spiritual well being. Turn off your phone if necessary. Sing a Primary song. Pray for help. Think of a scripture. Walk out of a movie. Picture the Savior. Take the sacrament worthily. Study For The Strength of Youth. Be an example to your friends. Confide in a parent. Go see your Bishop. Ask for help." (I know she was speaking directly to the youth, but this is great counsel for all of us and great ideas for me to teach my children so they know how to better invite the spirit into their lives. This will be the focus of a FHE soon.)
4. Elder Andersen: "More concerning than the prophesied earthquakes and wars are the spiritual whirlwinds that can uproot you from your spiritual foundations and land your spirit in places you never imagined possible, sometimes without your hardly noticing that you have been moved. The worst whirlwinds are the temptations of the adversary."
5. Elder Andersen: "Everyone, independent of his or her decisions and beliefs, deserves our kindness and consideration....In the gospel of Jesus Christ, there is no place for ridicule, bullying or bigotry."
6.Elder Russell M. Nelson, "Even if everyone is doing it, wrong is never right." (I also love the explanation that religion means to tie back to God. Who are we tied to?)
7. Elder Scott: (this one is probably not word for word accurate, but this was the message): "Encourage others to ponder, pray and seek for answers for themselves and teach them how to do so." He also said, "Children of Heavenly Father can do amazing things when they feel trusted."
8. Elder Hales: "Obedience makes us progressively stronger."
9. Elder Craig Zwick: oh wow, I loved his talk!! I need to read and reread this one..maybe weekly. He said, "The Holy Ghost pierces our hearts with compassion and empathy for others." I also loved when he said that as humans we are almost universally proficient at the language of anger but we need to develop the language of compassion.
10. Elder Quentin L. Cook: (paraphrased): We need to be connected to our roots and branches.