Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Abuela

Grandma Mercedes died on Thursday night. She is Alfredo's paternal grandma. She was 85 and her health was poor. She got pneumonia a couple of weeks ago, and she didn't recover. We went to visit her the night before she passed. Two feelings overcame me...one was a feeling of love for his aunts, uncles and cousins and sadness that they were about to lose someone they loved and for the pain they were feeling. That sadness for them brought tears to my eyes. And the second feeling was completely unexpected...as I stood next to her, the veil felt thin and this joy overcame me. How lucky she is to be done with this life and its challenges and difficulties! How joyous to be with loved ones. I honestly stood next to her feeling joy and jealousy. All weekend, there has been a part of me that has felt anxious to go HOME...back to my real home, to leave this frail existence and lay this mortal by. I know my time has not come, and really, I hope it doesn't come very soon. I want to raise my children and see them grow up, marry, have children. But oh, how I long to return to my Father. To be reunited with grandparents, my uncle Phil, great grandparents and others. To bathe my Savior's feet with my tears.

I am reminded of a country song that I haven't heard in a long time that I love, Temporary Home by Carrie Underwood:

Little boy, six years old
A little too used to being alone
Another new mom and dad
Another school, another house that will never be home
When people ask him how he likes this place
He looks up and says with a smile upon his face

This is my temporary home, it's not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I'm passing through
This is just a stop on the way to where I'm going
I'm not afraid because I know
This is my temporary home

Young mom, on her own
She needs a little help, got nowhere to go
She's looking for a job, looking for a way out
'Cause a halfway house will never be a home
At night she whispers to her baby girl
"Someday we'll find our place here in this world"

This is our temporary home, it's not where we belong
Windows and rooms that we're passing through
This is just a stop on the way to where we're going
I'm not afraid because I know
This is our temporary home

Old man, hospital bed
The room is filled with people he loves
And he whispers
"Don't cry for me, I'll see you all someday"
He looks up and says
"I can see God's face"

This is my temporary home, it's not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I'm passing through
This was just a stop on the way to where I'm going
I'm not afraid because I know
This was my temporary home

This is our temporary home

***
Now I just have to live so that I can receive that permanent, eternal home with my family and Savior.