Contentment...

I am listening to a book on CD right now. Well, let me back up a bit. My kids and I have a fairly long drive to their school each day. And we usually listen to a kids' book on CD as we drive. Not always, but most of the time. Then I have a 7-8 minute drive from their school to my school and then back again in the afternoon. Most normal people would probably listen to music during that time...but I prefer to be listening to something...usually a book of my own. But I am really trying to invite the spirit into my life more and so lately any time I am in the car alone, I listen to an LDS CD...I've listened to 3 by Sheri Dew so far and now I am listening to a book on CD called Contentment: Inspiring Insights for LDS women by Maria Covey Cole. I find things I have heard from Sister Dew and Sister Cole rattling through my head throughout the day. It has been such a good thing for me. It really has brought an added measure of peace, gratitude as well as some needed lessons. And even though, so far at least, I've just walked into Hunter Library, looked at what they had on the shelf and grabbed something, so much of it has been exactly what I needed to hear. I know I mentioned this briefly, but on my drive to and from Provo to say goodbye to my grandpa...literally minutes before he died... I was listening to a talk by Sheri Dew called "The Savior Heals Without A Scar" and it talked for a bit about death. How inspired is that! And there have been so many other times where other things she has said have popped in my head and have helped me.

Anyway, back to Sister Cole and contentment. She talks about how difficult it can be to be a mother...and how we don't always recognize how important our callings as mothers are and how much of a difference we are making...and how we can find peace, contentment and joy as we mother. She has talked about how amazing Latter-day Saint women are...(something Sheri Dew also talked about) and how some view the church as this organization that limits or oppresses women but how in actuality it gives women chances to lead, serve, speak, create and develop a variety of talents that many other women do not have the opportunity to develop. (It made me think about ‎how, often at work, when teachers want to present something to the administration that we are uncertain they will accept, they have asked me to present the case...and also, several times how my principal has asked me to present something to the teachers. One teacher said a few months ago that I often say the things she is thinking or wanting to say, but I say it in a way that others can understand and that doesn't offend. What a nice compliment...and as I was listening, I realized that at least some of my ability to do that has come from the opportunities I have had to teach, to speak, etc. at church.)

Sister Cole shared this quote that I really loved:
"Life is not about finding yourself. It is about creating yourself."
--George Bernard Shaw

But perhaps the part that has really helped so much is the section she had about comparing ourselves to others. This is, obviously, a lesson that I need to hear and that I am not learning very quickly (as I know I have posted about it before...and it was also something that stuck out to me at conference.) She shared a story that Sister Ashton (wife of Marvin J. Ashton) had told of President Kimball. President Kimball and Harold B. Lee were good friends. And President Kimball really admired President Lee and often told him so and would say he wished he could be more like President Lee. Finally one day Harold B. Lee said something like, "Spencer, the Lord doesn't want two Harold B. Lees. He just wants you to be the best Spencer W. Kimball you can be."

Maria Covey Cole went on to say this: "A copy is never as valuable as an original. Each of us is an original made by God and we diminish ourselves and our Maker when we question our worth."

Wow! Not much to say about that, other than wow! One of the CD's by Sheri Dew was entitled Four Things that will Wreck our Lives and the Four Truths that will Save it. She said that if she were Satan there would be four things she would do to try to draw us away from the gospel and the Savior and one of them was to get us to compare, criticize and complain.... to compare ourselves to others and to criticize and complain about others.

Maria Covey Cole said, "We need to do more affirming and encouraging and less comparing and finding fault. There is a great reservoir of strength and sisterhood surrounding us. All we must do is choose to recognize, embrace and encourage those around us rather than compare ourselves to one another."

I know some pretty amazing, talented, beautiful, spiritual women and it is easy at times to wish I was more like them in some way or another. But it gives me hope/peace to know that Heavenly Father created me and that he just wants me to be the best Jenny Panameno I can be...and that he doesn't want me to try to be just like someone else. I can learn from them and allow them to bless my life and the lives of my family members...but stop wishing to be them or regretting that I am not the same as them.