mother-daughter book club

Each month, Michelle, Ella and I head to Kearns Library for a mother-daughter book club. We go with my friend Becky and her daughter which makes it fun because we have friends with us. And the book club is fun. We start out discussing the book, then the girls make some kind of craft that is connected with the book, and then there is a treat. Tonight the girls got a ticket every time they made a comment and then at the end there was a drawing and each girl got a free book and two also got Girl Scout Cookies. (Michelle was so excited about hers that she read half of it after getting home from book club...which is great, although it means she went to bed a bit later than she should have.)

This month we read Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nimh. I've read it before, but not since I was a kid. We usually listen to the books on CD as we drive to and from school since our days are pretty busy and they have fairly heavy reading loads for school. It lead to a great discussion... Mrs. Frisby's courage and determination to help her family...even going so far as to visit the owl to get advice, visiting the rats to seek help, and sneaking into the Farmer's house to put the sleeping powder in the cat food. She was a wonderful mother. We had some discussion on the rats' stealing and whether stealing is ever okay or if it matters the size of the stealing and why the rats even became cognizant of the fact that they were stealing. I enjoy hearing what my kids have to say, both as we listen to the story and as we discuss it at the library. Sometimes they are a bit shy and don't say much at the library, but sometimes they have insights that impress me.

Tonight's craft was to make a stuffed felt mouse. There was felt cut in the shape of a mouse. Then you added eyes, ears, a vest, a tail, etc. and stuffed it. They came out quite cute.

I love that we are reading books that we might not read together otherwise. We've been going for about a year and some of the books we've read are:
Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nimh, True...sort of, Rules, Moon over Manifest, Babymouse, The Magic Thief, The Night Fairy, Igraine the Brave, and Emily's Fortune.

I absolutely love reading, and I am happy to share this experience of reading and talking about books with them. I hope that as they grow, they will love reading as much as I do.

Beautiful

Last Saturday, we had a stake Relief Society Activity. It was so amazing! They shared the Jenny Phillips program, Beautiful. They had decorated the gym so beautifully. It didn't look like a church gym. They had the ward Relief Society Presidencies come early to help assemble the lunches and it is a wonderful thing to watch the Relief Society (or any church organization, really) work together and accomplish something. There is so much goodness in our church.

The program Beautiful is based on a book written by Jenny Phillips. She says in the book that at one point after having her second child, she had torn a magazine clipping out and hung it up as an example of how she wanted to look again. But it just made her feel awful. Every time she looked at it, she felt bad that she didn't fit into the world's description of beauty (at least in her own mind). Then one day she was reading the scriptures and realized that what creates true beauty is becoming like the Savior, becoming charitable.

Beautiful tells the story of two young girls. They are enrolled in the King's beautification program. They are trying to find 10 keys, and when they have found all ten keys, they will be beautiful. Charlotte and Jane are both working on the program...all the women in the land are. Then one day a Scholar comes to town. He says he knows better and faster ways to become beautiful. If you will pay for his classes, you can become beautiful. He says the kings ways are outdated and take too long. He sets up a shop and offers classes. He hangs advertisements of beautiful women in immodest clothing. Soon, the women in the village begin to visit his shop. At first, most think they will continue with the King's training program AND use the scholar's methods. But Jane notices that you can't...you must choose one or the other. (Matt. 6:24: No man can serve two masters for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.") Of course, the King represents our Father in Heaven and the Scholar represents Satan and his cunning tactics to confuse us as to who we are, what is truly important, and so on. And it is working... there is evidence of the adversary's success all around us...the media tries to tell us what beauty is, there is a lack of modesty, and so many other problems. We, as members of the church, often fall into these traps too.

I absolutely loved the ending. I won't give away the "key" to true beauty...you'll have to read the book to find out... but I love that at the end, Jane is able to look into a mirror and see herself as the King sees her. If only, every person I know and love could have that experience...to see themselves as God sees them, even if only for a moment. Again, from Sheri Dew's book, No Doubt About It:

As a people we talk and sing constantly about being sons and daughters of God. ...And yet, with all our talk, do we really believe? Do we really understand? Has this transcendent doctrine about who we are, meaning who we have always been and therefore who we may become, penetrated our hearts? Our spirits long for us to remember the truth about who we are, because the way we see ourselves, or our sense of identity, affects everything we do.(page 36-37).

She also quotes President Kimball who said, "Remember, in the world before we came here, faithful women were given certain assignments while faithful men were foreordained to certain priesthood tasks. While we do not now remember the particulars, this does not alter the glorious reality of what we once agreed to" (Ensign, Nov. 1979, 102).

She then goes on to say,

I cannot imagine that we who have been called to bear and rear and nurture and teach and lead a chosen generation of children, youth, and women this late in the final dispensation were not among those deemed noble and great.
Noble and great.Courageous and determined. Faithful and fearless. That is who you are and who you have always been. And understanding it can change your life, because this knowledge carries a confidence that cannot be duplicated any other way. (page 42)

She reflects that most of us probably don't feel so noble and great, and then points out that many prophets and others in the scripture didn't feel noble or great, either. But they were. Enoch was young and slow of speech. Esther feared to go into her husband, the king, until Mordecai said, "Who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" (Esther 4:14).

Sister Dew says this about the adversary:

Satan of course knows how spiritually potent the knowledge of our divine identity is. He hates women of the noble birthright. He hates us because he is almost out of time, while we are en route to everlasting glory and a fulness of joy. He hates us because of the influence we have on husbands and children, family and friends, the Church and even the world. It is no secret to him that we are the Lord's secret weapon.

Thus it should not surprise us that the master of deceit is going all out to keep us from comprehending the majesty of who we are.

But I know that while I have had experiences where I caught a glimpse of who I am and who I have always been (I LOVE that so much!), it is easy to get discouraged, to feel like there are others who are more _____ than me (beautiful, smart, talented, righteous, etc). As I study the scriptures, pray, serve, and attend the temple, it seems it becomes a little easier to remember who I am, to listen to the spirit whisper that I do have worth and that my role is important. If only there were a way to remember this every day, and to help my own children as well as all of the women I serve to see this too.

Discouragement

I had a fabulous Young Women's President, Chris John. She served as Young Women's President for much of her adult life...something like 12 or 15 years, in two different wards. She was my Young Women's President nearly the whole time I was in Young Women's. She was released when I was a Laurel and a new President was called, and she was also wonderful. I can remember Sister John saying several times that she had found that often she became very discouraged right before something new and wonderful ocurred in her life. She had found that if she could recognize discouragement as one of Satan's tools and turn to the Lord at those times, then inevitably some new blessing or opportunity seemed to come to her. It was as if Satan was trying to prevent her from receiving that blessing by attempting to get her to give up. That has helped me a number of times throughout my life. I do believe that discouragement is a tool of Satan's, and as our Bishop has said, when things are hard, it is up to us to decide if we will turn to the Lord or turn away from Him.

This past week was hard. It was very hard, and I became very discouraged. On Tuesday, my daughters had parent teacher conferences. Michelle is struggling a bit in math and a little bit in Spanish reading. She's always been a very solid student, and she told me that she is trying really hard and it is still hard. School always came so easy to me, and while I am quite good at helping struggling students, my emotions get too involved when it is my own child. This has been humbling. She is not doing terribly, but she isn't doing as well as she would like.

Then on Wednesday I was told that I will be moving grade levels. I was worried and disappointed, but still felt not too terrible on Wednesday.

But then Thursday, we went to violin lessons. Michelle has worked so hard to prepare for violin federation. She has been practicing and practicing and has truly done her best. I knew she really could use a few more days, but she's tried so hard and I was proud of her. When we went to lessons, her teacher said she didn't seem ready enough and that she wasn't sure she should perform. She said Michelle would have to go home that night and practice really hard and practice really hard on Friday and then I would decide if she was ready. By this point in the week, I was not feeling well (bad cold) and I was exhausted physically and emotionally. Michelle cried in the car on the way home from violin...she felt like she wasn't good enough at school, she wasn't good enough at violin, she just wasn't good enough. That absolutely broke my heart. And it put a lot of pressure on me to decide whether she was ready for the performance. I broke down on Thursday night. I asked my family to pray for Michelle, and they did (for which I am so thankful!) I cried as I talked to Alfredo, I cried as I talked to my mom and stepdad. Then as I was getting the girls ready for bed, one of my children was being rather annoying and whiny. I was at my emotional limits and I snapped at her, telling her to stop it, damn it. I don't usually use that kind of language. Alfredo came in the bathroom and told me to take a break. I didn't mean to swear or get angry, and I immediately began to cry. The combination of me swearing and crying really worried my children. I quickly got my feelings under control, put them to bed, after many apologies and hugs and expressions of love, I went to bed shortly after. But I tossed and turned all night.

I was unsure whether to have Michelle perform. She wasn't quite ready and I knew she would make mistakes in front of the judges. Which might lead to her having a rating less than "superior". And her self-esteem seemed quite shaken, so I was unsure how she would react to that. I also knew that she has worked VERY, VERY hard to get ready and it was through no fault of hers that she wasn't quite ready. She had given it her all. And it seemed a shame to decide not to perform the night before just because she wasn't going to be perfect. I went to school feeling very discouraged and unsure. I made it through the day, and then talked to a couple of coworkers. Through tears, I explained my feelings and got their advice and love and support. They hugged me and listened and empathized and gave some good advice. Ultimately, I decided that Michelle should decide what she wanted to do. So we practiced some more when we got home and I knew she was close to being ready. So I talked to her about how proud I was of her efforts and that I thought she could perform, but that it was up to her. I explained that in my eyes, even if she didn't get a superior, that was okay and she should feel good because she knew she had worked hard. I talked about how much she's learned in just 2 years. I talked about how one rating this year didn't mean that much...that she would perform in front of people she would probably never see again and that even if she got "excellent" instead of superior, we would all be proud of her. Then I listened. She took the decision seriously, telling me why she wanted to perform and why she didn't. And ultimately, she decided to perform. By Friday afternoon, I was so physically and emotionally exhausted and so discouraged. I felt like as a teacher, I should be able to help my child be successful in school and felt like I wasn't being the kind of mom I wanted to be. I was overwhelmed by the thought of teaching a new grade level and I was discouraged that I couldn't seem to focus. I was also very grateful for kind and caring family members and friends who listened, let me cry on their shoulders and offered to help. I slept very poorly Friday night. I prayed and prayed for Michelle.

Saturday morning came and we got ready and headed to the U for the performance. I had to stay all morning because I was asked to be a room supervisor. Michelle went very first, at 8 A.M. Michelle was nervous and she did make some mistakes, but she did the best she could and she kept going even when she made mistakes. Since I was the room supervisor, I was collecting the judging sheets, and filling out the certificates. I was so happy when I was able to write "superior" on Michelle's certificate...but honestly, I would have been just as proud if she had received an "excellent" or "fair". I was proud of her for having the courage to perform even though she knew she would most likely make some mistakes. I was proud of her for working so hard and not giving up. And ultimately, I knew that her ranking at this one Federation didn't really matter, so long as it didn't make her feel discouraged and want to quit. This was one day in her young life and wouldn't have too much bearing on her future other than to let her know that she had courage and determination. Ultimately, it wasn't the ranking I was really worried about but just how it would affect her emotionally. She seemed so discouraged on Thursday, and I didn't want her to feel bad about herself.

I love this quote from Sheri Dew's book No Doubt About It. "Clearly, Satan wants us to see ourselves as the world sees us, not as the Lord sees us, because the world's mirror, like a circus mirror in which a five-foot, ten-inch woman appears two feet tall, distorts and minimizes us. Satan tells us wer'e not good enough. Not smart enough. Not thin enough. Not cute enough. Not clever enough. Not anything enough. And that is a big, fat, devilish lie. He wants us to believe that there is no status or significance in being a mother. That is a lie--and an evil lie. He wants us to believe that the influence of women is inheritently inferior. And that is a lie....We will never be happy or feel peace; we will never deal with life's ambiguities; we will never live up to who we are as women of God until we overcome our mortal identity crisis by understanding who we are, who we have always been, and who we may become." (page 46-47)

I fell into his trap this week. I began feeling like a failure as a parent (and I did make some mistakes!) and felt overwhelmed and discouraged. I was wise enough to know that a big part of it was that I was so tired and not feeling well, and I said to two coworkers that I knew I would be okay...I just wanted Saturday to be over and to get some rest and recharge. But I am so thankful to know, or to be learning, who I am and who I have always been and who I am meant to be. I am thankful for the knowledge that it is developing charity that makes us truly beautiful. That I am a child of God who loves me, and that I am trying to become who I have always been meant to be. I try to be positive, but I'm not always. I try to feel the love of the Lord in my life, but I don't always. I am grateful that when I get discouraged, I have so many caring people that are there to support me. One of my coworkers and dearest friends, Brenda, told me earlier this week that she prays for me almost daily because she knows I have so many responsibilities. She is not a member of my church, but I am thankful for her friendship, love, support and prayers. I could not ask for a better or truer friend. Polly, the other second grade teacher, also offered love and support and advice. I love these women as well as so many other women (and men) that are true friends and great supporters. I am blessed to be surrounded by great friends and a wonderful family.

"Change is the only constant"

"Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches, letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights." ~Pauline R. Kezer

This is the time of year when we begin to think about staffing for next year. It is the time of year when our principal asks if anyone wants to change grade levels. Well, I must have cursed myself because yesterday when she sent an email asking if anyone wanted to change grade levels, I told my friends..."The last thing I want right now is to change grade levels." I am quite busy and finally feeling quite comfortable in second grade (this is my 3rd year in 2nd grade). I have a lot going on in my life, and my youngest starts school next year which will add a 3rd child doing homework and reading to the mix. On top of working full time, piano and violin lessons and being relief society president. SO I absolutely did NOT want to change grade levels.

But today, I got called into the principal's office and she asked me to move to fourth grade. I nearly cried. She is moving Brenda to fourth grade with me. She explained that she really wanted someone with a positive attitude and who genuinely loves the kids and can create a warm and caring classroom. So I am moving to fourth grade. I will have a good team...Brenda, Megan and I (unless Brenda gets a job overseas, she has just applied for some jobs in Europe.) But neither Brenda nor I have ever taught fourth grade. It will be a lot of work figuring out what I'm doing and learning a new curriculum, and this hardly seems like an ideal time to switch grade levels.

I really was content to grow roots, but apparently it is time for me to grow branches.

Apparently, the Lord (and my principal) has a lot more confidence in my abilities to adjust, cope with change, and still be a good wife, mother and Relief Society President. It is important to me that none of these areas suffers, but there are days when I feel absolutely exhausted trying to do so much right now. And I'm teaching a grade I know and love and I have mostly planned the rest of the year. How will I manage it all next year when I'm in a new grade? But I will trust that the Lord knows what he is doing. I told a couple of people about it today, and sweet Mike Kraniski said, "Well, maybe this will turn out to be a blessing in some way that you can't even imagine right now." So I will trust that if the Lord believes I can do it, then somehow I can. Certainly, there are others that have been given bigger responsibilities than I.

When I was listening to No Doubt About It by Sheri Dew she told about President Benson in the 1950's. He was the father of 6 kids, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve, and the secretary of agriculture under Dwight D. Eisenhower. A church member once asked him how he did it all. He replied in words to this effect: "I work as hard as I can and I try my best to be obedient so the Lord knows I am mindful of him. Then I have the faith he will make up the difference between what I am able to do and what I am not able to do. And he does." So he will for me as well.

Failure

I/we had a painful thing happen a few weeks ago. At first it was too tender to talk about and I really didn't think I would blog about it...my immediate reaction was to just move on and forget about it. But it's turned in to a beautiful thing in a way and it has caused me to do some great thinking. At the end of February, Michelle had a violin concert. Her violin teacher (who is WONDERFUL!) ended up getting sick in January and then had surgery. So between Christmas break, her illness and surgery and so on, Michelle had only a few lessons in December and January. I have learned a little about the violin from observing the lessons but I don't play and don't really know a ton about music, although I appreciate music.


Anyway, Michelle had a concert to help prepare her for Federation which is this coming Saturday. She worked hard to practice. But she was being accompanied by my sister, and they had only had one chance to practice together (and it was before Michelle had her song memorized.) We got stuck in traffic and the day just wasn't going so well. She stood up to perform and got part way through the song and just got completely lost...the piano accompaniment does not play the melody so it really doesn't help her to pick back up if she gets confused and she stood there looking petrified and embarrassed. Finally, she figured out where she was supposed to be and continued playing. It was really quite terrible. Michelle was so embarrassed. She came home and said that she was awful and she didn't want to play violin any more and that it was so embarrassing. She tends to get very nervous and worried around concerts and tell me repeatedly that she wants to quit...but the rest of the time she likes it and I think it will be a real blessing in her life if she sticks with it, so I've made her so far.

But I must admit, I felt like I had failed her somehow. With my new calling, I am busier than ever. I make sure she practices, but I had been less involved in her practicing...not paying close attention to her form or to making sure she was getting her fingers right on the tape, etc. I'm not the best at this to begin with, because as I mentioned, I don't play violin. But I'd been worse. I knew she had really tried to master the song, but without much help from me and after not having several lessons, she just wasn't ready. In my head, I thought, I'm not sure I can keep doing this. It hurt my heart to see her feel so discouraged and embarrassed. I had kind of decided that I'd make her stick with it until the end of the summer, but that I'd probably let her quit. I didn't want her to quit right after a bad experience and feel like she'd given up or was a failure. And I was smart enough to not mention anything about her quitting or about my feelings to her. I tried to build her up and tell her that she still had a month until Federation and that she could do it. But inside, I doubted.

Well, the next week we were going to a lesson. Her teacher is always so positive...she has high expectations, but she is very kind. But inside I was dreading going. I knew how sensitive Michelle was feeling about the concert and how tender my heart felt when I thought about it. (I think I have insecurities at times about whether I am doing enough as a mom or whether my working--which I have to do--will have a negative affect on them. My biggest concern about accepting the call as Relief Society President was whether it would mean more time away from my children and whether that would be harmful to them. It does mean more time away from them, although I try to do it in ways and times that impact them the least...and I feel certain that if I serve to the best of my abilities, the Lord will make up the difference and bless my family. But still, I have those insecurities at times. This was definitely one of those times!) I feared that at the lesson the teacher would express disappointment or disapproval. She didn't at all. She gave some suggestions and reassured Michelle that there was still a month and that she could get it. Then she had Michelle play through the songs again and really drilled the parts she was struggling with. She'd make her play a little section 10 or 15 times correctly and then move on. She has repeated that in the subsequent lessons. Michelle came away from it feeling so much better, and so did I. Federation is this coming Saturday, and Michelle may or may not play perfectly, but she will play to the best of her ability, which is all that I (or anyone) can ask of her. She still whines sometimes about practicing and she gets discouraged that it isn't easier. But she also absolutely loves to see or hear people playing the violin. I checked out a CD from the library by Jenny Oaks Baker where she is playing the violin and Michelle loves it. She loves Lindsey Sterling's youtube videos. Today I shared a video with her that our Relief Society teacher, Natalie, shared with us. It is about a young man who has no fingers on his right hand and uses a special prosthetic to play the violin. He is amazing!! She was so impressed.

I was talking to my dear friend Brenda about this right after that first lesson after the concert. I told her a little bit about how terrible I felt, how Michelle felt and how I hated her feeling like she'd failed...how I had struggled with whether to let her quit or have her keep trying. As we talked, Brenda said that maybe this was a good thing that she experienced this failure. As we talked, I realized that it was a good lesson. Michelle is going to have disappointments in life. She is going to try at some things and fail. But if she learns that failure (or what was perceived as a failure in that moment) is not the end, that she can pick herself up and keep trying, then that is a valuable lesson. If she has the opportunity to fail in fairly safe ways now (yes, this was embarrassing, but there weren't that many people there...and there were no long term consequences) then it will give her greater confidence, greater ability to get back up and dust herself off and keep going when bigger disappointments come. And that is a valuable life lesson. So neither of us are failures after all!

Favorite Quotes of the month

Because I am studying conference talks and preparing Relief Society lessons and studying the gospel so intently right now, I feel like I have a million thoughts running through my head and a lot of quotes bouncing around. This is a good thing...but there are moments when my brain feels a little too full...and I know that writing is therapeutic for me. So I thought I'd just jot down some of my favorite quotes or ideas I've been thinking about lately.

In my Relief Society lesson two Sundays ago, I ran out of time. I shared the things that I think were most important to share, but I still had more to say. My lesson was on chapter 9 in Daughters of my Kingdom, "Guardians of the Hearth" and was about protecting the home and family...and recognizing our important roles as mothers, wives, women of faith and daughters of God.

In chapter 9, it tells a story about President Kimball. A man asked him if he'd been to heaven. He responded that he had glimpsed heaven many times...in the temple, in the home of a loving stake president, as he spoke with a couple that couldn't bear children but who had filled their home with 18 orphans. He said, "Heaven is a place, but also a condition; it is home and family. It is understanding and kindness. It is interdependence and selfless activity. It is quiet, sane living; personal sacrifice, genuine hospitality, wholesome concern for others. It is living the commandments of God without ostentation or hypocrisy. It is selflessness. It is all about us. We need only recognize it as we find it and enjoy it. Yes, my dear brother, I've had many glimpses of heaven." I am trying to create a home where we have glimpses of heaven. I am not always as successful as I'd like to be at this, but I am trying.
Here's our home, where I hope we catch glimpses of heaven. We are trying "to establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God." (D&C 88:119)

I've shared with several friends how much I love Emily Freeman's website, Daily Closer to Christ. I especially love her post about God's heart that I've linked to here. I love this quote from it: "Sometimes life doesn't go the way we plan. Even when we're following The Plan. I found a new favorite quote on the wall of my mom's bedroom, 'When you can't see God's hand, trust His heart.'" She talks about when things are rough, we have a choice...to turn to God and trust Him or to turn away from Him. We may wonder why our prayers don't seem to be answered (at least how we want them to) or why we face the challenges we do. She speaks of many who turned to God in their extremities: Esther, Hannah, Gideon, Elisha, Nephi, Joseph Smith. Then she says this, "He reached their reaching. In His own way, and in His own time. I have learned that in the moments when my life has taken a detour, or the storms swirl overhead, or the obstacle in my path seems insurmountable, I must open my scriptures. Answers are there.... Those pages teach us about God's heart. I am coming to understand that God's heart loves my heart." I LOVE that! God's heart loves my heart. I don't just love that. I know it is true. If only I/we could remember that every day!

The week before my lesson, I watched several talks given at the 2011 Time Out for Women. I especially enjoyed the talk by Laurel Christensen. She shared Ephesians 3:20 which says "Him who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all that we ask or think". She talked about how it seems like either of those words would suffice...exceedingly or abundantly...but that by using both it really shows how much power the Lord has to bless us...that He can do things so much more than we realize...and that through his power, we can too. She shared some experiences in life when she thought she absolutely could not do something and then found the strength to do it. One experience she shared was running a half marathon (an experience I can relate to!) When she got to mile 12, she was exhausted and in pain. She could not take another step. She was going to quit. She knew she was almost there, but she knew she couldn't make it. It was impossible. But then she heard voices cheering for her and she looked up and could see the finish line and somehow, she drew strength and made it to the end. She said, "Each of us are here to become a little closer to the woman He always intended us to be. You are living plan A. It is not too late today to change something dramatically in your life. Beware the temptation to stop at mile 12." This reminded me (among other things) that we are on our journey home...and there are people cheering us along the way...our families, our Savior, loved ones who have passed on, and so on. Sometimes the world gets so loud and so hard that we feel we must quit, but we are at mile 12... even those of us with many years let to live are, in a sense, at mile 12. I had a BYU professor that liked to say that once we leave this life, we will realize that this life is merely a parentheses in eternity...we lived before we came to earth and we will live after we die... this life is such a short time. We are on our way home... we must keep going and finish the race.

In this same talk by Laurel Christensen, she shared this quote from Elder Oaks, "When we have a vision of what we can become, our desire and our power to act increases enormously."

Desire and power. Vision. Him who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all that we ask or think. Glimpses of heaven. Beware the temptation to stop at mile 12. God's heart loves my heart. These are my favorite quotes this month. But the month is only half over... I'm sure I will have many more by the end of the month.

Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are?

Last week we celebrated Dr. Seuss' birthday as part of our school Literacy Week. We had a bunch of fun activities including our fifth graders performing a great play of Horton Hatches an Egg. I read a Dr. Seuss book to my class each day and read them my favorite biography about him The Boy on Fairfield Street by Kathleen Krull. One of the books I read to them was "Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are?"

I love how Dr. Seuss is able to imbed life lessons into fun and engaging stories that don't feel like they are teaching you a lesson. Recognizing our blessings is so important, something that I am constantly trying to teach my children and improve in myself. So I loved reading this:

“When you think things are bad,
when you feel sour and blue,
when you start to get mad...
you should do what I do!
Just tell yourself, Duckie,
you're really quite lucky!
Some people are much more...
oh, ever so much more...
oh, muchly much-much more
unlucky than you!”

The story shows kids in France whose pants get eaten by pants eating plants and a bee watcher who has to be watched by a bee watcher watcher who is watched by a bee watcher watcher watcher and on an on. Each scenario is silly and not realistic, but the lesson is taught by a man sitting on a cactus, a rather unpleasant experience of course. And it is good to stop from time to time and remember that we really are so very lucky! I can remember reading a couple of years ago that if you have flooring (of any kind...not dirt) and glass in your windows then you are luckier/wealthier than something like 75% of the world's population. (That might not be the right percentage, but it was a startling number.) There are so many things we take for granted that others don't have...free education, indoor plumbing, clean water, libraries, internet access, sufficient food to eat (and actually more than enough...and a wide variety of foods), and probably a million other blessings that don't usually cross our minds. I am really quite lucky!! Thank you for reminding me, Dr. Seuss!

The Golden Child

I love Patricia Polacco. If I had to pick a favorite picture book author, it would probably be her (although there would be about 10-20 others right behind her in line for that honor.) So I was excited to recently read her book of Mother Goose rhymes entitled Babushka's Mother Goose. I must admit that for just a moment I was disappointed that so few of them were rhymes I knew. But then I started reading these rhymes that she and her babushka (grandmother) created...many based on other nursery rhymes, including those from Russia. There are fun ones...like Yasha... "Yasha had a beard/that grew and grew and grew!/It reached down to the ground,/it grew and grew and grew!/Up over fences, through a barn,/and even past a hound,/It grew up goats, it grew down slopes,/it grew without a sound...." (it continues on...and the illustration is hilarious!) But if I had to choose one absolute favorite, it would be:
The Golden Child

There is an ancient legend-
it's very old indeed-
about a child, a golden child,
who loves when there is need.

Enchanted child, with eyes so dear,
walks with God each day.
"Treat this one as you would me,'
the Lord came here to say.

But no one knows the golden child-
it looks like any other-
so every child it may be,
a sister or a brother.
**
I love the message in this rhyme. Every child it may be...a sister or a brother. We should treat everyone we meet as if they are the golden child who walks with God each day. We should be kind and patient and forgiving when a child does wrong. We should "Treat this one as you would me"... " "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 19:14)

Children can teach us so much. Twice in the past two weeks during class discussions, children in my class have mentioned God. Once we were reading a book and we stopped to talk about honesty. I said something like, "Even if no one catches you being dishonest, you know that you were. You have to live with yourself and know that you did something dishonest and that doesn't feel good." One student said, "Yeah and God knows." Many students nodded their heads in agreement. I can't remember the circumstances of the other time, but it was probably something similar. (Because it is a public school classroom, I try to handle this carefully...neither really encouraging these remarks nor discouraging them entirely, but pointing out that people have many different beliefs about God and that they should talk to their families about their own beliefs.)

I love this quote by C.S. Lewis. It has long been a favorite:
“It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which,if you say it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree helping each other to one or the other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilites, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all of our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. nations, cultures, arts, civilizations - These are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit - immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.” From the Weight of Glory

If we could always remember that every child, every person, we interact with is a "Golden Child" and that each person we meet is a child of God, then this world would be a much nicer place.

My Golden Children :)

Anxiously Engaged/Men Can Change

Jocelyn is hosting a Book of Mormon blog Forum, and I decided I wanted to participate. She asked each person to blog about the Book of Mormon scripture(s) from an October General Conference talk that meant the most to you. I feel like October General Conference really set me on a path of some soul searching and earnestly striving to live the gospel more fully. I have read and reread many of the talks and there are two that especially touch my heart. The talk that touched me most deeply during my original viewing of conference and that continues to be on my mind almost daily was "Be Anxiously Engaged" by Elder M. Russell Ballard. I loved his story of the honeybee:

"Honeybees are driven to pollinate, gather nectar, and condense the nectar into honey. It is their magnificent obsession imprinted into their genetic makeup by our Creator. It is estimated that to produce just one pound (0.45 kg) of honey, the average hive of 20,000 to 60,000 bees must collectively visit millions of flowers and travel the equivalent of two times around the world. Over its short lifetime of just a few weeks to four months, a single honeybee’s contribution of honey to its hive is a mere one-twelfth of one teaspoon.

Though seemingly insignificant when compared to the total, each bee’s one-twelfth of a teaspoon of honey is vital to the life of the hive. The bees depend on each other. Work that would be overwhelming for a few bees to do becomes lighter because all of the bees faithfully do their part.

The beehive has always been an important symbol in our Church history. We learn in the Book of Mormon that the Jaredites carried honeybees with them (see Ether 2:3) when they journeyed to the Americas thousands of years ago. Brigham Young chose the beehive as a symbol to encourage and inspire the cooperative energy necessary among the pioneers to transform the barren desert wasteland surrounding the Great Salt Lake into the fertile valleys we have today. We are the beneficiaries of their collective vision and industry."

Elder Ballard encouraged each of us to pray each day to have the opportunity to serve. I began doing that in earnest in November, and while most of the service I provided was small, it brought a lot of peace and joy to me. I did find ways to serve nearly every day. Of course, I found ways to serve my family, but I also found ways to reach beyond and serve others. I began to feel my heart turned more and more to others. I feel certain that this helped set the stage to prepare my heart for the calling as Relief Society President that I received in December. A calling that has stretched me, humbled me, blessed my life in countless ways and allowed me to contribute my one-twelth of one teaspoon to the Lord's hive.

Elder Ballard referred to Alma 5:12-21. I love all of this, but verse 16 has always been a favorite verse of mine. It reads, "I say unto you, can you imagine to yourselves that ye hear the voice of the Lord, saying unto you, in that day: Come unto me ye blessed, for behold, your works have been the works of righteousness upon the face of the earth?"
I love this. I want to have lived so that the Lord can say that my works have been the works of righteousness upon the face of the earth. As I teach my children, as I serve in my calling, as I study and pray, I am trying to draw nearer to the Lord each day and trying to reach beyond myself to serve and bless the lives of others. I know I can't do it alone. But if we each contribute our one-twelth of one teaspoon and we each place our trust in the Lord, then our cup will run over.

The second talk that has meant a great deal to me since my call as Relief Society President is the talk given by President Monson at Priesthood Session entitled "See Others as they May Become." President Monson tells of a missionary who was experiencing phenomenal success. Brother N. Eldon Tanner asked him why he was so successful and he responded that he tried to baptize every person he met. He would picture the man in a suit and tie and he could visualize the man entering the baptismal font. This made all the difference because he wasn't afraid to teach anyone or bear powerful testimony to them.

President Monson said, "We have the responsibility to look at our friends, our associates, our neighbors this way. Again, we have the responsibility to see individuals not as they are but rather as they can become. I would plead with you to think of them in this way."

This has made a difference in my interactions with others. I work full time as a teacher, and I have never hidden my beliefs. However, I have been a little more open with my colleagues about my beliefs lately. When I have done visits to less active members of my ward, I try to remember that each person is a beloved child of God and has the potential to repent and to change. In a few cases, I think they have felt this and it has caused a softening in their heart. But regardless of whether it has changed their heart or not, it has changed mine.

Pres. Monson quoted 2 Timothy 1: 7-8: “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Be not thou therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord.”

Men, and women, can change. I am thankful that I have been given the gift of repentance and that I can change. I am thankful for a prophet of God who believes that others can change and lives by that belief. I have recently read President Monson's biography and have been so touched by all that I learned from reading it. I wrote about some of my thoughts and feelings about his biography inthis post and this post.

We are so blessed to have a living prophet and to have the fulness of the gospel in the Book of Mormon. I am so thankful!

Belief Society

I am surrounded by many great people. I'm feeling thankful for so many people right now, but I want to make mention of those who I work with. Two of the first people I told about my calling were Brenda and Polly, my teammates. Neither of them are LDS but they were both so supportive and encouraging and offered help and support. One of my secretaries was just recently released as the Relief Society in her ward. Our other secretary was recently called as her ward's RS President. Our social worker is one of the counselors in her ward's RS Presidency. I am surrounded by great people and each of them has offered support. But I'm at least as thankful for those who do not share my beliefs who have also offered support. My principal saw that I'd been called on Facebook and she said that she was sure I would do great. I was feeling quite discouraged on Monday...and she said something in faculty meeting that really helped me...even though she wasn't talking about Relief Society at all. When I shared with her today in an email what it had meant to me, she responded (in part) "You are so kind and caring. I am sure you were called to be "Belief Society" (Collen's term --isnt it cute) president because you are so needed." It was our secretary (who was recently released) who coined that term. I like it. I've been thinking about it all afternoon/evening. We certainly are a relief society...one of our purposes is to provide relief for those in physical, emotional or spiritual distress. But just as surely as we are a relief society, we are even more importantly a belief society. There are many great societies with the purposes of providing relief (such as the Red Cross, Doctors without Borders, and so on) but we are set apart because we are also a society of believers.

I am listening to Sheri Dew's book "No Doubt About It" on CD in the car right now. She told about asking her grandma when she was 8, "What if the church isn't really true? We will have wasted a lot of time at meetings." Her grandma said that she knew it was true because the spirit had told her it was. She then said that someday Sheri would know it was true and she would never be able to be the same again. She also told of a woman she met at a conference. The woman was a minister. The woman's husband was a minister. Their parents were ministers. This woman studied the Bible and tried to live God's word. She commented that she knew God speaks to us....she wasn't sure how he speaks to us, but she was sure he did. Sister Dew said that understanding how God speaks to us is one of the things that really sets us apart from the rest of the world. Having the Holy Ghost testify of truth changes our lives forever. We come to believe, to know, to have no doubt about it.

I am grateful to know. To be part of a belief society where I can be strengthened by other believers. But I am also very grateful to be surrounded by other good people who can support me and demonstrate respect even though they don't know.

Answered Prayers

Through no fault of my own, I ended up in a situation that made me a bit uncomfortable on Wednesday. I was trying to help someone, but it wasn't going very well. I was at my home with my children and Alfredo was gone. I said a quick prayer for guidance to know what to say and do. I wasn't in danger, but felt uncomfortable and unsure how to handle the situation. Just a few minutes later, there was a knock at the door. It was the missionaries. Elder Duke had a new companion that he wanted to introduce us to. They were just planning to stop by, but after talking for a minute at the door, they ended up coming in and talking and sharing their testimonies. I have no doubt that it was a direct answer to my prayers. I found myself with tears in my eyes...partly because they spoke with the spirit, but primarily because I knew that Heavenly Father had heard my prayers and sent help. I was planning to call them today to thank them, but as I was driving home from work, I saw them walking down the street. So I pulled over and talked to them and thanked them. I told them that they were an answer to prayers, and they said that as they were walking down the street, they just had the thought that they should stop by briefly at the Panamenos. I'm thankful that they listened to the spirit and came "to the rescue." They are wonderful young men with strong testimonies of the gospel. I am thankful that my Father in Heaven is aware of my needs...and of the needs of those I'm trying to serve. The missionaries seemed to know just what to say during a time when I was having difficulty figuring out what to say and how to handle the situation.

On Friday, teachers had training at East High. We started in the auditorium. Then we broke up into different classrooms for three different sessions. At the end of the first session, I leaned down to grab my stuff and noticed that my purse wasn't there. I looked all around me, looked in my bag, looked around me again and then hurried down to the auditorium. I wandered up and down the aisles near where I was sitting, but my purse wasn't there. I thought, "Maybe I left it in the car." So I hurriedly jogged to my car and searched, but my purse wasn't there. At that point, I said the third prayer I'd said in those 10 minutes and headed to my next session. At the end of the last session, I told my friend Brenda about the purse. We checked in the high school's office, but it hadn't been turned in. So we asked the leaders of the conference, but no one had given it to them. I knew I had brought it, because I had an errand to run briefly on my way home. The leader of the conference assured me that teachers are honest, good people and that she was sure someone had it and just hadn't made it downstairs yet. So I waited around. My dear friend, Brenda, waited with me. After about 15 minutes, I really thought it was gone. I was just about to give them my name and phone number and ask them to call me if it turned up and head home (luckily my cell phone and car keys were in my jacket pocket, not in my purse). I was starting to feel worried... my purse is small and doesn't have a lot in it, but there is one credit card and my checkbook and my license and just canceling and replacing those three things would be a big hassle. Just as I was about to give up, a man walked by pushing a cart of audiovisual materials from the presentation in the auditorium...and on the cart was also my purse! I'm so thankful that it was returned to me with nothing missing. What a blessing! I'm thankful for honest people and for answered prayers.

Today, a close friend blessed their baby. I wasn't able to attend the blessing, but Alfredo and the girls went. Afterward, I met them at the friend's parents' house for a luncheon. I had the address, but it was an area that I have never really been to, and I was feeling a tiny bit nervous about finding it...I am not super great at finding my way to unfamiliar places. I was unsure which exit to take and was saying a prayer about it, when my phone rang. It was Alfredo and he was pretty sure he had just passed me and he then let me know which exit to take. When I got off the exit, I was right behind him and was able to follow him there. Simple, but yet another answer to prayers. Certainly not all of my prayers are answered that quickly, nor do I always recognize the answers I receive. But I feel like I am being led by the spirit so much more now than previously and I know that my prayers are heard. I am so thankful.