A favorite movie of my family when I was a child was Fiddler
on the Roof. And a favorite song from
that musical was “Tradition.” In the
movie, Tevya says, “Because of our traditions, we’ve kept our balance for many,
many years….And because of our traditions, every one of us knows who he is and
what God expects him to do.” Tradition! Tradition!
If I had a better singing voice, I would sing those words…but hopefully
you can hear Tevya and the village singing…”Tradition! Tradition!”
Elder Steven Bangerter of the 70 spoke in General Conference
of how the traditions we set in our family can do exactly these things…help us
know who we are and what God expects us to do.
In Elder Bangerter’s words: “While raising our children, we establish
traditions within our home and we build patterns of communication and behavior
within our family relationships. In doing so, the traditions we establish
should ingrain strong, unwavering characteristics of goodness in our children
that will infuse them with strength to confront the challenges of life.”
Our traditions give
our children strength and help them know who they are and how they should
behave…or what God expects them to do.
Elder Bangerter shared
one of his family’s traditions…to go into the Uinta mountains each summer. They enjoy the beautiful scenery,spend time
together…and each family prepares a “short message on a topic they feel is an
important element in the foundation of a Christ-centered home.” Then they gather together and have a family
devotional where these topics are shared.
Our traditions might
look a little different from one another or from Elder Bangerter’s… and they
may change over time as our life situations change. It was interesting to me to write this
talk…because more than almost any talk I’ve ever given, I felt like it
practically wrote itself. The reason that
is interesting is because about 7 or 8 years ago, I spent some time really thinking
about the traditions we had in our home.
I kind of went through a period where it felt like many other families
had some amazing traditions and maybe ours were lacking or almost non-existent. I did adopt a couple of new traditions during
that period, but not many. So I have
been amazed as I’ve been reflecting over the last couple of weeks because quite
a few traditions have flooded my mind. In fact, we have many traditions…but not
all of them are traditions that help us “know who we are and what God expects
us to do.” Not all of them help us lay a
solid foundation and center our lives on Jesus Christ. I suspect that if you were to ponder the
traditions that your family has, you might realize that you’re probably doing
better than you think you are and you probably DO have traditions that draw you
closer to Christ. The fact that you are
here today indicates that church attendance is a tradition you have instituted!
Elder Bangerter
reminded us: “ Jesus Christ is that
precious cornerstone in the foundation of Zion. It was He who revealed to the
Prophet Joseph Smith: “Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying
the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which
is great. Lessons taught through the traditions we establish in our homes,
though small and simple, are increasingly important in today’s world. What are
the small and simple things that, when established, will perform a great work
in the lives of our children?”
Let me tell you a few
of our traditions that I believe perform a great work in the lives of my
children/my family…these are the traditions, traditions that I feel help us
know who we are and what God expects or wants us to do. Perhaps you will be happily surprised to see
that some of them are traditions that your family also has. Perhaps as I share some of our traditions,
the spirit will whisper to you a tradition that your family should adopt…or a
way to modify a current tradition to make it even more powerful…to allow it to
perform a great work in the lives of your children/your family:
*Watching General
Conference together…For years we have watched conference as a family. We try to make it fun with treats and ways to
record what we are learning. Not only do
my children know that we WILL be watching conference, they genuinely look
forward to it. And we try to review and
refer back to what was taught in conference often.
*Eating breakfast and
dinner together…(Although breakfast is less frequent now that Michelle leaves
early) …we discuss a variety of topics so that girls know they can ask us
questions and we will talk openly, answer their questions, listen to them…
- In addition, quite a bit of research has
been done on the benefits of eating meals together as a family. (typically dinner)…Here are just a few
benefits: Better academic performance, Higher self-esteem
(Hey…that relates to knowing who we are!!), Greater sense of resilience, Lower
risk of substance abuse, Lower risk of teen pregnancy, Lower risk of
depression, Lower likelihood of developing eating disorders, Lower rates
of obesity
Family
dinners have the ability to help
insulate our children from the pressures and evils of the world around them…to help protect them from falling into some of
the traps laid by the adversary…especially if family dinner is a time to
discuss your day, talk about highs and lows, share gospel insights, and ask and
answer questions. Of course family
dinner or other traditions don’t GUARANTEE that your children will avoid these
pitfalls, but they certainly increase that likelihood.
*Temple visits
whenever we travel to another city…Alfredo started this years ago…whenever we
take a family vacation, we try to visit one or more temples in the
vicinity. We walk around the grounds,
take photos and enjoy the peace there.
Now that the girls are older, we’re trying to visit every temple in
Utah.
*Church history trip
with each daughter when they turn 12.
This one is my favorite. When my
daughters turn 12, I take them on a trip, just the two of us. Michelle and I visited Nauvoo…doing baptisms
at the Chicago and Nauvoo Temples. We
visited Carthage and the sites in Nauvoo.
Ella and I went to upstate New York to the Hill Cumorah, the priesthood
restoration site, the Smith farm, and the Sacred Grove. While you certainly can have a testimony of
the Book of Mormon and the prophet Joseph Smith without visiting these
locations, having the opportunity to have the spirit bear witness to the
truthfulness of these principles while sitting in the Sacred Grove or in
Carthage Jail with my daughter is a
priceless experience that I will always treasure.
*Counting our
blessings at Thanksgiving. Again we have done a variety of things but it turns
our minds and thoughts to Christ and helps us express gratitude in our prayers
as we list our many blessings.
Elder Bangerter:
“Consistent, wholesome family traditions that include prayer, scripture
reading, family home evening, and attendance at Church meetings, though
seemingly small and simple, create a culture of love, respect, unity, and
security. In the spirit that accompanies these efforts, our children become
protected from the fiery darts of the adversary so embedded in the worldly
culture of our day.”
**Prayer/Scripture
study…Ours has evolved over the years.
Reading to the girls in the bathtub when they were very small. Watching the Bible videos and reading the
related verses, telling stories and reading a few verses from the scriptures,
studying gospel topics, using journals.
Often unremarkable, but hopefully helped my children know that the
scriptures are important, a priority in our home.
Elder Bangerter: “I believe that it is less a question of
whether our children are “getting it” in the midst of our teaching, such as
while striving to read the scriptures or to have family home evening or to
attend Mutual and other Church meetings. It is less a question of whether in
those moments they are understanding the importance of those activities and
more a question of whether we, as parents, are exercising faith enough to
follow the Lord’s counsel to diligently live, teach, exhort, and set forth
expectations that are inspired by the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is an effort
driven by our faith—our belief that one day the seeds sown in their youth will
take root and begin to sprout and grow.”
President Eyring said, “When
the family gathers to read scriptures aloud, you will already have read them
and prayed over them to prepare yourself. You will have found moments to pray
for the Spirit to enlighten your mind. Then, when it is your turn to read,
family members will feel your love for God and for His word. They will be
nurtured by Him and by His Spirit. The same outpouring can come in any family
gathering if you pray and plan for it. It may take effort and time, but it
will bring miracles.” His words are so comforting to me! Miracles can happen if we pray and plan to make our family gatherings opportunities to be nurtured by the Spirit.
I want to speak for a moment to the youth and children...while parents typically determine what traditions the family has, you have an important role as well. It takes time, effort and sacrifice for your parents to institute and continue these traditions. You can help make these traditions a happy experience through your attitude and willing participation. You can help your parents to institute and continue traditions...and if there are traditions that your family does not currently have that you think would benefit your family, YOU can be the one to suggest them and to help them happen. You can help to make your family stronger, more united and full of greater love and peace.
Some of our traditions are things that we intentionally set
out to do in order to teach our daughters who they are and what the Lord
expects them to do. Some of them were
begun out of obedience without perhaps fully recognizing the blessings that
would come. But as my daughters are
getting older, I can more clearly see that the traditions we have established
allow us to be nurtured by our Savior Jesus Christ. They allow us to feel His Spirit. They help us to be reminded of who we are and
what God expects us to do.
Tradition! Tradition!
In order to fit some of the most important traditions into
our lives and our families…we may have to make a few changes. We may have to examine how we spend our time
and cut out a few good things in order to make room and time for the best
things.
I hope that as I’ve shared a few of our traditions, the
spirit has comforted your heart and helped you to see that already you have
established traditions that bind your family closer together and draw you
closer to Christ. But I also hope that
perhaps the spirit has whispered an idea or two of traditions that your family
could adopt…similar to ours or something completely different that the spirit
helps you know would be best for your family and your family situation…and I
challenge you that if those thoughts have come, please act on them. The fiery darts of the adversary surround us
on every side, but I see more and more clearly that as we center our lives on
Christ, He blesses us. May we use our traditions to “look unto Him
in every thought, doubt not, fear not.” As
we do, we will remember who we are and what God what expects us to do.
