Tradition! Tradition!

I spoke in sacrament meeting today.  These are pretty close to what I said... I added a couple of things last minute and had to cut a little out because of time.  My counselors also spoke and gave beautiful talks!

A favorite movie of my family when I was a child was Fiddler on the Roof.  And a favorite song from that musical was “Tradition.”  In the movie, Tevya says, “Because of our traditions, we’ve kept our balance for many, many years….And because of our traditions, every one of us knows who he is and what God expects him to do.”  Tradition!   Tradition!   If I had a better singing voice, I would sing those words…but hopefully you can hear Tevya and the village singing…”Tradition!  Tradition!”

Elder Steven Bangerter of the 70 spoke in General Conference of how the traditions we set in our family can do exactly these things…help us know who we are and what God expects us to do.  In Elder Bangerter’s words:  “While raising our children, we establish traditions within our home and we build patterns of communication and behavior within our family relationships. In doing so, the traditions we establish should ingrain strong, unwavering characteristics of goodness in our children that will infuse them with strength to confront the challenges of life.”

Our traditions give our children strength and help them know who they are and how they should behave…or what God expects them to do.

Elder Bangerter shared one of his family’s traditions…to go into the Uinta mountains each summer.  They enjoy the beautiful scenery,spend time together…and each family prepares a “short message on a topic they feel is an important element in the foundation of a Christ-centered home.”  Then they gather together and have a family devotional where these topics are shared. 

Our traditions might look a little different from one another or from Elder Bangerter’s… and they may change over time as our life situations change.  It was interesting to me to write this talk…because more than almost any talk I’ve ever given, I felt like it practically wrote itself.  The reason that is interesting is because about 7 or 8 years ago, I spent some time really thinking about the traditions we had in our home.  I kind of went through a period where it felt like many other families had some amazing traditions and maybe ours were lacking or almost non-existent.  I did adopt a couple of new traditions during that period, but not many.  So I have been amazed as I’ve been reflecting over the last couple of weeks because quite a few traditions have flooded my mind. In fact, we have many traditions…but not all of them are traditions that help us “know who we are and what God expects us to do.”  Not all of them help us lay a solid foundation and center our lives on Jesus Christ.  I suspect that if you were to ponder the traditions that your family has, you might realize that you’re probably doing better than you think you are and you probably DO have traditions that draw you closer to Christ.  The fact that you are here today indicates that church attendance is a tradition you have instituted!

Elder Bangerter reminded us:  “ Jesus Christ is that precious cornerstone in the foundation of Zion. It was He who revealed to the Prophet Joseph Smith: “Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great. Lessons taught through the traditions we establish in our homes, though small and simple, are increasingly important in today’s world. What are the small and simple things that, when established, will perform a great work in the lives of our children?”

Let me tell you a few of our traditions that I believe perform a great work in the lives of my children/my family…these are the traditions, traditions that I feel help us know who we are and what God expects or wants us to do.  Perhaps you will be happily surprised to see that some of them are traditions that your family also has.  Perhaps as I share some of our traditions, the spirit will whisper to you a tradition that your family should adopt…or a way to modify a current tradition to make it even more powerful…to allow it to perform a great work in the lives of your children/your family:

*Watching General Conference together…For years we have watched conference as a family.  We try to make it fun with treats and ways to record what we are learning.  Not only do my children know that we WILL be watching conference, they genuinely look forward to it.  And we try to review and refer back to what was taught in conference often.

*Eating breakfast and dinner together…(Although breakfast is less frequent now that Michelle leaves early) …we discuss a variety of topics so that girls know they can ask us questions and we will talk openly, answer their questions, listen to them…

• In addition, quite a bit of research has been done on the benefits of eating meals together as a family.  (typically dinner)…Here are just a few benefits:  Better academic performance, Higher self-esteem (Hey…that relates to knowing who we are!!), Greater sense of resilience, Lower risk of substance abuse, Lower risk of teen pregnancy, Lower risk of depression, Lower likelihood of developing eating disorders, Lower rates of obesity

Family dinners have the ability to help insulate our children from the pressures and evils of the world around them…to help protect them from falling into some of the traps laid by the adversary…especially if family dinner is a time to discuss your day, talk about highs and lows, share gospel insights, and ask and answer questions.  Of course family dinner or other traditions don’t GUARANTEE that your children will avoid these pitfalls, but they certainly increase that likelihood. 

*Temple visits whenever we travel to another city…Alfredo started this years ago…whenever we take a family vacation, we try to visit one or more temples in the vicinity.  We walk around the grounds, take photos and enjoy the peace there.  Now that the girls are older, we’re trying to visit every temple in Utah.

*Church history trip with each daughter when they turn 12.  This one is my favorite.  When my daughters turn 12, I take them on a trip, just the two of us.  Michelle and I visited Nauvoo…doing baptisms at the Chicago and Nauvoo Temples.  We visited Carthage and the sites in Nauvoo.  Ella and I went to upstate New York to the Hill Cumorah, the priesthood restoration site, the Smith farm, and the Sacred Grove.  While you certainly can have a testimony of the Book of Mormon and the prophet Joseph Smith without visiting these locations, having the opportunity to have the spirit bear witness to the truthfulness of these principles while sitting in the Sacred Grove or in Carthage Jail  with my daughter is a priceless experience that I will always treasure.

*Counting our blessings at Thanksgiving. Again we have done a variety of things but it turns our minds and thoughts to Christ and helps us express gratitude in our prayers as we list our many blessings. 

Elder Bangerter: “Consistent, wholesome family traditions that include prayer, scripture reading, family home evening, and attendance at Church meetings, though seemingly small and simple, create a culture of love, respect, unity, and security. In the spirit that accompanies these efforts, our children become protected from the fiery darts of the adversary so embedded in the worldly culture of our day.”

**Prayer/Scripture study…Ours has evolved over the years.   Reading to the girls in the bathtub when they were very small.  Watching the Bible videos and reading the related verses, telling stories and reading a few verses from the scriptures, studying gospel topics, using journals.  Often unremarkable, but hopefully helped my children know that the scriptures are important, a priority in our home.

Elder Bangerter:  “I believe that it is less a question of whether our children are “getting it” in the midst of our teaching, such as while striving to read the scriptures or to have family home evening or to attend Mutual and other Church meetings. It is less a question of whether in those moments they are understanding the importance of those activities and more a question of whether we, as parents, are exercising faith enough to follow the Lord’s counsel to diligently live, teach, exhort, and set forth expectations that are inspired by the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is an effort driven by our faith—our belief that one day the seeds sown in their youth will take root and begin to sprout and grow.”

President Eyring said, “When the family gathers to read scriptures aloud, you will already have read them and prayed over them to prepare yourself. You will have found moments to pray for the Spirit to enlighten your mind. Then, when it is your turn to read, family members will feel your love for God and for His word. They will be nurtured by Him and by His Spirit.  The same outpouring can come in any family gathering if you pray and plan for it. It may take effort and time, but it will bring miracles.”  His words are so comforting to me!   Miracles can happen if we pray and plan to make our family gatherings opportunities to be nurtured by the Spirit.

I want to speak for a moment to the youth and children...while parents typically determine what traditions the family has, you have an important role as well.  It takes time, effort and sacrifice for your parents to institute and continue these traditions.  You can help make these traditions a happy experience through your attitude and willing participation.  You can help your parents to institute and continue traditions...and if there are traditions that your family does not currently have that you think would benefit your family, YOU can be the one to suggest them and to help them happen.  You can help to make your family stronger, more united and full of greater love and peace.

Some of our traditions are things that we intentionally set out to do in order to teach our daughters who they are and what the Lord expects them to do.  Some of them were begun out of obedience without perhaps fully recognizing the blessings that would come.  But as my daughters are getting older, I can more clearly see that the traditions we have established allow us to be nurtured by our Savior Jesus Christ.  They allow us to feel His Spirit.  They help us to be reminded of who we are and what God expects us to do.  Tradition!  Tradition!  

In order to fit some of the most important traditions into our lives and our families…we may have to make a few changes.  We may have to examine how we spend our time and cut out a few good things in order to make room and time for the best things. 

I hope that as I’ve shared a few of our traditions, the spirit has comforted your heart and helped you to see that already you have established traditions that bind your family closer together and draw you closer to Christ.  But I also hope that perhaps the spirit has whispered an idea or two of traditions that your family could adopt…similar to ours or something completely different that the spirit helps you know would be best for your family and your family situation…and I challenge you that if those thoughts have come, please act on them.  The fiery darts of the adversary surround us on every side, but I see more and more clearly that as we center our lives on Christ,  He blesses us.  May we use our traditions to “look unto Him in every thought, doubt not, fear not.”  As we do, we will remember who we are and what God what expects us to do.