What an unusual year it has been! I have now been serving in YW for over 5 1/2 years...two years as president. And I have loved it. But suddenly, it feels hard. Due to the pandemic, we weren't able to gather at all for several months. Then we could gather once per month and now twice. And starting just last Sunday we can hold second hour meetings. But all of that means that I've had more limited contact with the young women. Some of them have continued to participate in online activities and respond to texts but many have not. And some of their testimonies are waning. I have lately felt very much like maybe I was unqualified to serve the YW now. What I'm trying isn't working and maybe there is someone out there that could do a significantly better job than I am doing. And I just have had a lot of doubts. On Saturday I sent a message to the YW telling them about the lesson on Sunday and how excited I was and a few reasons why I hoped they would join. I felt like I was prompted to send a similar message to parents expressing my love for their girls and why I thought it was important for their daughters to join our YW lesson. And then almost immediately after sending the text, I began to doubt whether it was a prompting or just my own thoughts, whether the text sounded loving or judgmental, whether the text would encourage or induce guilt. So I sent another text and said that my intent was to express love and concern and not to induce guilt or sound judgmental and that I love and miss the YW when they aren't with us. Anyway, more than at any time I have been serving in YW (except maybe the first 3-4 months), I have really wondered if I had what they needed or if maybe I should ask to be released for their benefit. Or at the very least, maybe I could get some guidance on how to do a better job. I received some guidance in conference, but I was still struggling with the practicalities of how to apply it.
So last Sunday I fasted and prayed. I fasted to know how to help these YW. I fasted to know what I should do. I fasted to have the spirit with me as I taught. And I didn't get really specific answers. I didn't get a plan in my lap that gave me steps of what I should do. But I did experience peace. And this thought came very clearly and has stayed with me all week. There are many things I'm not good at. I have plenty of weaknesses. BUT I can and do love Jesus and teach others about him. And I can love the Young Women. (and others). And for right now that's enough. Love Jesus and teach and testify of Him. And love the Young Women. Love them wholeheartedly. I felt peace wash over me and for the vast majority of the week, I have continued to feel that peace. There are plenty of things that are hard for me, but it's comforting that loving Jesus is not one of them.
Today an anonymous friend left a framed picture on my porch for me. It says "Let God Prevail." And again peace washed over me. If I'll let God prevail in my life, if I'll let Him be the greatest influence in my life then tremendous blessings will flow and what I have to offer with His help will be enough.
LESSONS LEARNED: Let God Prevail.
Love God. Love others.
Fasting can bring peace and can increase our love and ability to serve.
No comments:
Post a Comment