This past week we read D&C 27 and 28. Section 27 contains verses describing the armor of God. I love these verses, and I loved pondering their meaning and discussing them this week. But this verse 16 really struck me.
"Having your loins girt about with truth"...I have seen several social media posts lately--by active members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints-- that have made comments about how virtue is uncomfortable to discuss and too often associated only with chastity. And while I absolutely agree that there is more to modesty than just wearing appropriate clothing and there is more to virtue than just being chaste, both of these concepts are important and they are both doctrinal and they NEED to be taught. I don't fully understand why we want to avoid teaching this law. I'm sure my thoughts are jumbled a bit, but here's what I'm thinking.
*First, this is an important law. It's a temple recommend question and a covenant we promise to obey. I remember when one of my girls went for their very first temple recommend interview, they came out after and were a bit upset with me. They were asked if they obeyed the law of chastity and they didn't know what that meant. Now to be fair--we had had discussions about intimacy--I just hadn't used that label. But I had not fully prepared my child for that interview and she was embarrassed that she didn't know what that meant.
*Some will say that this law should be taught in our homes. And I agree. It should be taught in our homes first and foremost. But I assert that this is not enough. First, there are families that don't discuss it. Or discuss it very little. And that's a problem. But also--especially as they become teens--our children need to hear church doctrine taught and testified to by multiple people. They need to hear from people that this law has value and will bless their lives and they need to hear it from more than just their parents.
*SOOO many of the world's problems would be solved if we ALL lived the law of chastity. Many divorces would be avoided. Most abortions would no longer take place. Teenage pregnancy and pregnancy out of wedlock wouldn't occur. Many family's financial situations would be better. Rape, sexual assault, sex trafficking would not exist. Now I'm not naive and I know that we aren't going to inhabit a world where these things don't exist until after the Savior comes...but this should be the type of world that members of the church want..and it is only possible if we are teaching and living the law of chastity.
*I suspect that people don't want to discuss it because it is uncomfortable, it's an unpopular belief and many have been harmed by others' sexual sins or feel guilt or shame about their own sexual sins. It is not an easy topic to discuss and it has sometimes been taught poorly. I know that poor teaching has led some to feel that they can never be forgiven or that they no longer have worth. I know that the world thinks it is a crazy idea to live the law of chastity and that intimacy is normal and natural and we should indulge in our carnal desires. I know that far too many people have been hurt or experienced devastating sorrow through other people's choices. This breaks my heart. But it also makes me feel that it is ABSOLUTELY critical that we teach chastity.
*President Packer said, “ “We need women with the gift of discernment who can view the trends in the world and detect those that, however popular, are shallow or dangerous.”
President Nelson said: “ Today, let me add that we need women who know how to make important things happen by their faith and who are courageous defenders of morality and families in a sin-sick world. We need women who are devoted to shepherding God’s children along the covenant path toward exaltation; women who know how to receive personal revelation, who understand the power and peace of the temple endowment; women who know how to call upon the powers of heaven to protect and strengthen children and families; women who teach fearlessly.”
President Nelson also said, “ Attacks against the Church, its doctrine, and our way of life are going to increase. Because of this, we need women who have a bedrock understanding of the doctrine of Christ and who will use that understanding to teach and help raise a sin-resistant generation. We need women who can detect deception in all of its forms. We need women who know how to access the power that God makes available to covenant keepers and who express their beliefs with confidence and charity. We need women who have the courage and vision of our Mother Eve.” (see A Plea to My Sisters”, October 2015). These quotes make me certain that I have a role to play in teaching truth and defending morality and chastity and the sanctity of marriage and family! I am determined to do my part.
*As members of the Church, we should be willing to speak up and speak out in defense of truth! We should be the examples for the rest of the world.
*I am not an expert on teaching intimacy but here are a few things I do know:
--In D&C 27:16 it says having your loins girt about with truth. We read: "“The Spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not. Wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be; wherefore, these things are manifested unto us plainly, for the salvation of our souls” (Jacob 4:13) So truth is things as they really are and really will be. So if we want to protect our loins (our chastity), then we need to teach and understand truth. It's the only way to protect ourselves or to protect our children. (Our children/posterity could also be another way to think of our loins.)
--I think any discussion of intimacy and chastity needs to include discussion of the Atonement and repentance. We need to be clear that repentance is always possible and that healing can come if we rely on the Savior and use the gift of His atonement. We need to help our youth and children understand that repentance is a precious gift!!
--We need to place intimacy in the proper frame. Intimacy is beautiful and it is proper and even sanctioned/commanded by God within the bounds of marriage. Intimacy allows a husband and wife to become one in a very real way. We need to be careful that our teaching of the law of chastity does not make youth think that it is dirty or evil or disgusting.
--That being said, we need to help them understand why intimacy should be reserved for marriage. I think there are a multitude of reasons for this command. I'm sure I am not addressing all of them and I absolutely think EVERYONE should read Elder Holland's BYU address Of Souls, Symbols and Sacraments because he addresses some of these ideas so much better than I can. But here are a few reasons that I think intimacy is reserved for marriage:
1. It provides a level of physical and emotional safety. Because of the very nature of intimacy, participating in it outside of a committed, loving relationship can lead to emotional and physical danger. You are almost certain to have your heart broken if you participate in intimacy outside of marriage. You are in physical danger (disease, pregnancy, etc.) I recognize that you can still have your heart broken or experience disease or other issues even if you live the law of chastity, but it does provide much protection.
2. It can strengthen and add beauty and a level of closeness to a marriage. It's meant to unite and increase the feelings of love and trust and partnership in a marriage. When you participate in intimacy, as Elder Holland explains, you are interacting with a person's soul. That's serious and sacred.
3. Of all His titles, God asks us to call Him Father. His most precious role is as our dad. His most precious ability is to procreate. I think that should give us an idea of how important procreation is. If God feels that giving life is THAT important then we should recognize that it is pretty important. God is literally sharing a portion of His power with us. We should recognize the sacredness of what we are doing and treat it as such.
4. The adversary doesn't have a body. He will never have a body. And so he often tries to attack us through our body. He tries to get us to misuse and abuse our body. It's his greatest trick.
5. God has promised that we can live eternally as families. As husband and wife. That exaltation is centered on families. And He has stated that every one of His spirit children deserves the right to be born into a family with a loving mother and father. I know that's not a popular stance these days, but it is what gives a child the best chance for success. I don't pretend to understand all of the Celestial laws, but in my limited understanding I recognize there is more to the sealing power than we fully recognize and that we should take it a bit more seriously than we do. There's much I don't understand about this mortal life and the experiences that many have and so I know that this last part is complicated and hard for so many.
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