Jane Saved Dad

 My dad just shared this story:

When I was a child, perhaps 8 years old, my family went on a California vacation.  Disneyland, San Diego Zoo, Knott's Berry Farm and the ocean.

I was standing about waist deep in the water, when a large wave hit me and knocked me down.  The undertow began to wash me out to sea.  My older sister, Jane, grabbed me from behind with her hands in my arm pits and held on until the wave faded.

That was very likely the first time, but not the last time, that my hero sister Jane saved my life.

Lessons Learned:  

Be cautious in the ocean...learn to recognize the dangers.  

Having someone who cares about you nearby can save you from many kinds of troubles, temptations, and heartaches.

Connect Self Journal

 As part of youth conference, everyone attended a series of workshops.  I was asked to give one of the workshops.  So I taught the same concept 4 times (and each time it was similar but not exactly the same).  I was asked to teach about how journaling connects us with ourselves --and I hope I got that point across and also helped them see that journaling also connects us with heaven.

Here's the basic outline of what I shared:

First, I asked them why we should keep a journal.  I had some reasons/ideas but they also came up with a few that I didn't have.

Why we should keep a journal:

*we have been asked to: 

President Kimball said, “Those who keep a book of remembrance are more likely to keep the Lord in remembrance in their daily lives.  Journals are a way of counting our blessings and of leaving an inventory of these blessings for our posterity.” 

President Kimball also said, “Get a notebook, a journal that will last through all time, and maybe the angels may quote from it for eternity.  Begin today and write in it your goings and comings, your deepest thoughts, your achievements and your failures, your associations and your triumphs, your impressions and your testimonies.” 

From the earliest days of the church, leaders have encouraged us to keep journals. And there are blessings promised if we do.

*helps us remember  ...we forget things!  Even things we think we'll never forget.  I shared a couple of funny stories from when my girls were little of things they did that I don't remember but I know they happened because I wrote them down.  I also shared a bit of President Eyring's experiences with journal keeping from his talk O Remember, Remember.

*reminds of happy times 

*Therapeutic (I talked about how much journaling helped me when my parents divorced) 

*Way to increase gratitude and to be more aware of the blessings we have

*Way to gain strength and overcome difficulties 

Elder Neil L. Andersen spoke of the spiritually defining moments in our lives...the times when our prayers are answered, our testimony is strengthened, when we feel God’s love or approval, when our faith grows.  I think we have probably all had these experiences...but if we don’t take time to think about them, remember them, and record them then we tend to forget them. 

Elder Andersen said, “When personal difficulty, doubt, or discouragement darken our path, or when world conditions beyond our control lead us to wonder about the future, the spiritually defining memories from our book of life are like luminous stones that help brighten the road ahead, assuring us that God knows us, loves us and has sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to help us return home.” 

*Helps with teaching  or speaking...these experiences can help us share personal witness about the topics we speak or teach on.

*Way to record what you’re learning and how you’re growing and lessons learned from life. 

 

Some of the other ideas shared:  It helps our posterity to know us.  It helps history/current events come alive and feel more personal when a loved one has written about them.  It humbles us because it helps us see some of our mistakes and weaknesses.  It helps us see progress over time.  It helps us forgive others.  It helps us process our emotions.  It becomes like personal scripture, our own record of what we have learned and how the Lord has guided and led us.

 

How/Where? 

*Notebook/actual journal 

*Social media to chatbook or other company to create book  

*Blog 

*In app or on phone or in word document (make sure it’s saved to cloud and/or printed regularly) 

*Record yourself and upload onto Family Search or interview family members 

Hint:  Pick a day/time to write so that you are consistent.  Maybe set a timer for 10 minutes each night before bed or always write for 30 minutes each Sunday or for 30 minutes every fast Sunday.  Being consistent will help you develop a habit and make it more likely that you continue with journal writing. It will also make it much more likely that you don’t miss big events or spiritual experiences or that your journal doesn’t only focus on the bad (or only on the good) 

 

What do I write about? 

*Day to day life 

*Things that you’re struggling with:  bad habits you are trying to break, adversity and affliction,  

*Happy events 

*Funny, comical things 

*What you're grateful for

*Goals

*Lessons being learned in life 

Then I talked a little bit about the process of keeping a 3 word journal, how it works, why it's a good tool and how it has helped me in the past year.  I shared two examples of 3 word journal entries and bore my testimony of the importance and power of keeping a journal.

 

 

 

 

Connect Youth Conference

 This weekend our stake had youth conference.  It was a lot of fun. The theme was quest to connect  (based around Helaman 3:6) and there were activities to connect with other youth, connect with God, and connect with ancestors.  The stake began planning youth conference back in January and back then we didn't know what summer would be like concerning Covid. The vaccine was just beginning to be released for adults and it seemed likely that it wouldn't be released for teens until late summer (thankfully it was released earlier than that.)  Everyone was still wearing masks and many people hadn't returned to church.  So our stake took a very cautious approach to youth conference...holding most of the activities at the stake center and not doing anything overnight.  

It ended up being wonderful.  First and foremost, things are much better with the virus now.  We didn't have to wear masks (though some people did which is absolutely fine!)  And the weather has been incredibly hot over the past two or so weeks.  But it rained a bit on Thursday (so needed!) and the weather cooled off a bit.  It was still warm, but not unbearably so.  A member of our stake that is in the Granger Single Adult ward has put on carnivals before and she volunteered to basically run the carnival for the youth...and it was amazing!  Lots of members of the single adult ward came to help run the games and it was such a fun evening for the youth.  Friendships were strengthened and hopefully testimonies were strengthened as well.  

On Saturday, we drove to Magnolia Grove Reception Center and then walked from there to the Jordan River Temple.  Then we had some quiet time for pondering.  I became pretty emotional.  I think it was a combination of things.  First, I was just so happy to be on the temple grounds.  I love the temple so much.  And the temple is about to move to Phase 3, so I'll be able to visit the temple at the end of July to do baptisms, initiatories and an endowment session, so that made me so happy.  But also there was this incredible feeling of peace.  Things have felt troubling lately, but for a little while, things felt right in the world again.  And I felt so strongly that God loves His children and that even when I don't understand things I can trust in that.

Also, I felt such gratitude for the youth program.  For the way it strengthens the youth and blesses their lives.  And for the privilege and opportunity I have to be a part of it.  I love the youth.  I love being a part of these experiences with my daughters.  (I'm also super grateful that they have other leaders as well that teach them and set examples for them.  I know they need to learn the gospel from others and not just me.)  

And I felt such happiness that we could be together.  There haven't been big gatherings like this for about 15 months, and so it was so wonderful to see these youth playing and talking and laughing and bearing testimony and growing stronger together.

Sara said to me at the temple that she had seen so many little tender mercies throughout youth conference.  (She is in the stake YW Presidency and therefore was heavily involved in the planning and carrying out of youth conference.)  And she said, "If God cares about something like youth conference and all these tiny little details for something like this, then I know He cares about the details of my life as well."  And I know that's true.  

I also felt such gratitude for my covenants and I want to strive to keep my covenants as well as I can.  I feel a little more connected to heaven and definitely more connected to my stake after this weekend and I am so grateful.

YW lesson pornography

Chastity and pornography have been weighing on my mind and heart for a few months now, so I was so happy when I learned that our Bishop would be addressing chastity on the 5th Sunday of May and that our YW lesson in June would be on avoiding pornography.  I was going to be out of town the week it was supposed to be taught, but felt strongly like I needed to teach it so I spoke with my Bishop and he thought it would be okay to swap the June lessons.  So I taught about pornography in my lesson in YW today.  I was nervous about it...glad that it was being taught but nervous about the actual teaching of it because I know it can be an uncomfortable or embarrassing topic and I wanted to both impart the seriousness of the topic but also that there is always hope and help available.  

Here's a basic outline of how I approached it:

I want to begin discussing what are the things that Heavenly Father cares deeply about and make a list on the board.  Hopefully the girls will come up with things like His children, families, the Savior's Atonement, prophets, and maybe things like our health, caring for the poor, sharing the gospel with others, etc.

Heavenly Father LOVES His children and He understands what is best for us...even sometimes when we don't.  And because He loves us and wants to protect us, He has created commandments.  Satan, on the other hand, tries to destroy and deceive us so that we don't follow God and have these blessings He wants for us.  One of the things God cares the very most about is families and Satan is trying to destroy families.  God wants us to marry and to experience love and safety and joy in our families and because this is so important, Satan is waging a war against families and marriage and included in that war is a war on intimacy.

Heavenly Father has given us feelings of love and attraction.   These are beautiful and can help a husband and wife be united phyiscally, emotionally and spiritually as a couple but used improperly these feelings of attraction can have many negative impacts.

Today we are going to talk about one deception that Satan uses to twist our thoughts and feelings and that can cause us harm.  I'm going to share a bit of worldly knowledge/statistics as well as doctrine that can help us avoid or overcome this tactic of the adversary.  This tactic is pornography.

So first, we need to know what pornography is.  

True to the Faith definition:  

Pornography is any material depicting or describing the human body or sexual conduct in a way that arouses sexual feelings. It is distributed through many media, including magazines, books, television, movies, music, and the Internet. It is as harmful to the spirit as tobacco, alcohol, and drugs are to the body. Using pornographic material in any way is a violation of a commandment of God: “Thou shalt not … commit adultery … nor do anything like unto it” (D&C 59:6). It can lead to other serious sins. Members of the Church should avoid pornography in any form and should oppose its production, distribution, and use.

Pornography is tragically addictive. Like other addictions, it leads people to experiment and to seek more powerful stimulations. If you experiment with it and allow yourself to remain caught in its trap, it will destroy you, degrading your mind, heart, and spirit. It will rob you of self-respect and of your sense of the beauties of life. It will tear you down and lead you to evil thoughts and possibly evil actions. It will cause terrible damage to your family relationships.

Because of the addictive nature of pornography and the harm it can cause to body and spirit, servants of God have repeatedly warned us to shun it. If you are caught in the trap of pornography, stop immediately and seek help. Through repentance, you can receive forgiveness and find hope in the gospel. Go to your bishop or branch president for counsel on how to overcome your problem, and seek healing through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Ask the Lord to give you the strength to overcome this terrible addiction.

Pornography is rampant.  When I was your age, for the most part, you had to go looking for it to find it.  But today, experts say that 9 out of 10 between the ages of 8 and 16 have been exposed to pornography and 1/3 of those who search for pornography are women.  It's a growing problem.  Most or all of you have or will stumble upon pornography at some point.  So today I want to help you know what to do when that happens and how to avoid letting it become a serious problem and what to do if it does become a problem.

A few other facts about pornography:

*Pornography makes more money than the NFL, NBA and MLB combined.

 *Pornography is addictive--much like drugs or alcohol.  And much like drugs or alcohol, it can change the way your brain functions, the structures of your brain.  And like other addictions, you often desire more and more and more intense exposures.  

*Pornography decreases brain cells and damages the frontal lobe of your brain.  Pornography creates a chemical response in your brain and releases chemicals that are supposed to be released to help you create connection and love.  When you view pornography, your body releases the same chemicals as the hormones released when you have a baby that allow you to bond with that baby and then quickly the pornography becomes  a substitute for the things that actually bring you joy such as marriage and children.  

*Some people are more susceptible to the addiction than others.  About 1 out of 3 people are very affected by pornography.  But none of us are beyond being tempted.  All of us need to avoid it.

*Involvement in pornography makes it difficult to have satisfying and happy relationships with others.  Pornography harms marriages.

*Pornography addictions lead to greater incidences of violence and sexual abuse and trauma.

If you are like me, hearing some of these things makes you feel sad and maybe even scared.  

So let's talk about what to do if you encounter pornography:

1.  Let's read 1 Corinthians 10:13

13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

This doesn't mean that you will never succumb to temptation or that you will never face a temptation that is hard for your to rise above.  It does mean that for every temptation you may face, the Lord has created a way for you to overcome the temptation.  And part of the way to do that is the common Sunday School answers...go to church, pray and read your scriptures.  Fill your mind and Spirit with things that invite the Holy Ghost to be your companion and that will allow you to fight off temptation.  And if pornography--or some other temptation--is something you are struggling with, pray for help.  Fast.  

2.  If you stumble upon something inappropriate, what should you do?

Turn away.  Turn it off.  Get up and leave.  And talk to a trusted adult.  This might be something you read in a book, or see in a movie or tv show or see on an internet or social media page, or find on a youtube video or see as you participate in a hobby such as anime or swimming or dance.  

For the Strength of Youth pamphlet discusses what kind of media we should view and what we should do if we encounter something inappropriate.

3.  Eliminate anything that is likely to tempt you.  Maybe that means you don't watch your favorite tv show anymore...I know that can be hard because I've done it...but it is worth it.  Maybe that means that you ask your parents to put stronger filters on the internet or you have them get you a phone that isn't a smart phone.  Maybe that means that you never use a computer or even your phone unless you are around others.  Maybe that means you do a social media fast or you unfollow some of the people you follow.  Maybe that means you need to make some changes in your friends or who you spend time with if it's your friends that are leading you to make poor choices in what you see or view.  Maybe it requires you to adjust the way you participate in a hobby if participating in chat rooms or other aspects of that hobby are leading you into temptation.  

4.  Seek help.  If you are struggling, pray for help.  Then talk to a parent.  Or talk to a leader or the Bishop.    I promise that if you come talk to any of us, we are not going to be angry with you or shocked or think you are a horrible person.  If you are struggling with pornography--or some other sin or temptation--and you go to talk to the Bishop or you come to talk to one of us, we are going to be so happy that you trusted us and so proud of you for wanting help and wanting to change.  The purpose of this life is for us to become more like God...and that requires all of us to repent, to change...in both big ways and small ways.  And because of the Atonement you CAN repent and you CAN change.

 I incorporated several quotes from Sister Linda Reeeves talk.

I also showed a video of a woman speaking about her experiences.