YW lesson pornography

Chastity and pornography have been weighing on my mind and heart for a few months now, so I was so happy when I learned that our Bishop would be addressing chastity on the 5th Sunday of May and that our YW lesson in June would be on avoiding pornography.  I was going to be out of town the week it was supposed to be taught, but felt strongly like I needed to teach it so I spoke with my Bishop and he thought it would be okay to swap the June lessons.  So I taught about pornography in my lesson in YW today.  I was nervous about it...glad that it was being taught but nervous about the actual teaching of it because I know it can be an uncomfortable or embarrassing topic and I wanted to both impart the seriousness of the topic but also that there is always hope and help available.  

Here's a basic outline of how I approached it:

I want to begin discussing what are the things that Heavenly Father cares deeply about and make a list on the board.  Hopefully the girls will come up with things like His children, families, the Savior's Atonement, prophets, and maybe things like our health, caring for the poor, sharing the gospel with others, etc.

Heavenly Father LOVES His children and He understands what is best for us...even sometimes when we don't.  And because He loves us and wants to protect us, He has created commandments.  Satan, on the other hand, tries to destroy and deceive us so that we don't follow God and have these blessings He wants for us.  One of the things God cares the very most about is families and Satan is trying to destroy families.  God wants us to marry and to experience love and safety and joy in our families and because this is so important, Satan is waging a war against families and marriage and included in that war is a war on intimacy.

Heavenly Father has given us feelings of love and attraction.   These are beautiful and can help a husband and wife be united phyiscally, emotionally and spiritually as a couple but used improperly these feelings of attraction can have many negative impacts.

Today we are going to talk about one deception that Satan uses to twist our thoughts and feelings and that can cause us harm.  I'm going to share a bit of worldly knowledge/statistics as well as doctrine that can help us avoid or overcome this tactic of the adversary.  This tactic is pornography.

So first, we need to know what pornography is.  

True to the Faith definition:  

Pornography is any material depicting or describing the human body or sexual conduct in a way that arouses sexual feelings. It is distributed through many media, including magazines, books, television, movies, music, and the Internet. It is as harmful to the spirit as tobacco, alcohol, and drugs are to the body. Using pornographic material in any way is a violation of a commandment of God: “Thou shalt not … commit adultery … nor do anything like unto it” (D&C 59:6). It can lead to other serious sins. Members of the Church should avoid pornography in any form and should oppose its production, distribution, and use.

Pornography is tragically addictive. Like other addictions, it leads people to experiment and to seek more powerful stimulations. If you experiment with it and allow yourself to remain caught in its trap, it will destroy you, degrading your mind, heart, and spirit. It will rob you of self-respect and of your sense of the beauties of life. It will tear you down and lead you to evil thoughts and possibly evil actions. It will cause terrible damage to your family relationships.

Because of the addictive nature of pornography and the harm it can cause to body and spirit, servants of God have repeatedly warned us to shun it. If you are caught in the trap of pornography, stop immediately and seek help. Through repentance, you can receive forgiveness and find hope in the gospel. Go to your bishop or branch president for counsel on how to overcome your problem, and seek healing through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Ask the Lord to give you the strength to overcome this terrible addiction.

Pornography is rampant.  When I was your age, for the most part, you had to go looking for it to find it.  But today, experts say that 9 out of 10 between the ages of 8 and 16 have been exposed to pornography and 1/3 of those who search for pornography are women.  It's a growing problem.  Most or all of you have or will stumble upon pornography at some point.  So today I want to help you know what to do when that happens and how to avoid letting it become a serious problem and what to do if it does become a problem.

A few other facts about pornography:

*Pornography makes more money than the NFL, NBA and MLB combined.

 *Pornography is addictive--much like drugs or alcohol.  And much like drugs or alcohol, it can change the way your brain functions, the structures of your brain.  And like other addictions, you often desire more and more and more intense exposures.  

*Pornography decreases brain cells and damages the frontal lobe of your brain.  Pornography creates a chemical response in your brain and releases chemicals that are supposed to be released to help you create connection and love.  When you view pornography, your body releases the same chemicals as the hormones released when you have a baby that allow you to bond with that baby and then quickly the pornography becomes  a substitute for the things that actually bring you joy such as marriage and children.  

*Some people are more susceptible to the addiction than others.  About 1 out of 3 people are very affected by pornography.  But none of us are beyond being tempted.  All of us need to avoid it.

*Involvement in pornography makes it difficult to have satisfying and happy relationships with others.  Pornography harms marriages.

*Pornography addictions lead to greater incidences of violence and sexual abuse and trauma.

If you are like me, hearing some of these things makes you feel sad and maybe even scared.  

So let's talk about what to do if you encounter pornography:

1.  Let's read 1 Corinthians 10:13

13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

This doesn't mean that you will never succumb to temptation or that you will never face a temptation that is hard for your to rise above.  It does mean that for every temptation you may face, the Lord has created a way for you to overcome the temptation.  And part of the way to do that is the common Sunday School answers...go to church, pray and read your scriptures.  Fill your mind and Spirit with things that invite the Holy Ghost to be your companion and that will allow you to fight off temptation.  And if pornography--or some other temptation--is something you are struggling with, pray for help.  Fast.  

2.  If you stumble upon something inappropriate, what should you do?

Turn away.  Turn it off.  Get up and leave.  And talk to a trusted adult.  This might be something you read in a book, or see in a movie or tv show or see on an internet or social media page, or find on a youtube video or see as you participate in a hobby such as anime or swimming or dance.  

For the Strength of Youth pamphlet discusses what kind of media we should view and what we should do if we encounter something inappropriate.

3.  Eliminate anything that is likely to tempt you.  Maybe that means you don't watch your favorite tv show anymore...I know that can be hard because I've done it...but it is worth it.  Maybe that means that you ask your parents to put stronger filters on the internet or you have them get you a phone that isn't a smart phone.  Maybe that means that you never use a computer or even your phone unless you are around others.  Maybe that means you do a social media fast or you unfollow some of the people you follow.  Maybe that means you need to make some changes in your friends or who you spend time with if it's your friends that are leading you to make poor choices in what you see or view.  Maybe it requires you to adjust the way you participate in a hobby if participating in chat rooms or other aspects of that hobby are leading you into temptation.  

4.  Seek help.  If you are struggling, pray for help.  Then talk to a parent.  Or talk to a leader or the Bishop.    I promise that if you come talk to any of us, we are not going to be angry with you or shocked or think you are a horrible person.  If you are struggling with pornography--or some other sin or temptation--and you go to talk to the Bishop or you come to talk to one of us, we are going to be so happy that you trusted us and so proud of you for wanting help and wanting to change.  The purpose of this life is for us to become more like God...and that requires all of us to repent, to change...in both big ways and small ways.  And because of the Atonement you CAN repent and you CAN change.

 I incorporated several quotes from Sister Linda Reeeves talk.

I also showed a video of a woman speaking about her experiences.