Read part of talk: Am I A Child of God? by Brian K. Ashton. Bear testimony that we are children of God and He knows and loves us and has plan for our lives.
Perhaps it seems weird to begin a lesson on chastity by having you read about your divine nature...but who you are, your divine nature, has everything to do with why chastity and virtue are so important. In fact, Elder Bednar said, "The eternal importance of chastity can only be understood within the overarching context of our Heavenly Father’s plan of happiness for His children. “All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and … has a divine nature and destiny” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2010, 129). All men and women lived with God as His spirit children before coming to the earth as mortal beings. The Father’s plan enables His spirit sons and daughters to obtain physical bodies, to gain mortal experience, and to progress toward exaltation."
Quote: #1: Elder Bednar said, "Our physical bodies make possible a breadth, a depth, and an intensity of experience that simply could not be obtained in our premortal existence. Thus, our relationships with other people, our capacity to recognize and act in accordance with truth, and our ability to obey the principles and ordinances of the gospel of Jesus Christ are amplified through our physical bodies. In the school of mortality, we experience tenderness, love, kindness, happiness, sorrow, disappointment, pain, and even the challenges of physical limitations in ways that prepare us for eternity. Simply stated, there are lessons we must learn and experiences we must have, as the scriptures describe, “according to the flesh”
What is the law of chastity: Quote #2
I have an analogy that can help us understand why we have the law of chastity. It isn't a perfect analogy...but hopefully it will help.
Draw continuum on board...pass out peas. Go ahead and taste these peas. You'll notice they are just a little bit sweet. (Place peas). One reason for the law of chastity is it helps us enjoy each stage and cherish simple joys. Elder Eric B. Shumway said “The law of chastity, I testify, is a law of happiness. It is a law that protects the sacred powers of procreation and magnifies the lyrical joys of romantic intimacy in a way that God created, ordained, and blessed.”
When you first begin to develop feelings for boys, it's exciting just to smile and say hi. We could put that here on the beginning of the continuum. Heavenly Father created these feelings; they are normal and healthy...although like so many things with our earthly bodies, we do need to control our appetites. At first, when I met Alfredo, just talking to him or having him smile at me was thrilling. Then we began to date and eventually he held my hand. It was absolutely amazing. (Pass out oranges...) These oranges could represent holding hands. It's even sweeter than the peas just as holding hands soon felt much sweeter than just talking or smiling at each other. In fact, soon I didn't want to just talk...if we were talking, I wanted to be holding hands.
Quote #3: "“Physical intimacy between husband and wife is beautiful and sacred. It is ordained of God for the creation of children and for the expression of love within marriage.” (True to the Faith, (2004), 29.)."
Heavenly Father desires for us to become one with our spouse...physically, emotionally and spiritually. Genesis 2: 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
So we have this continuum that goes from just smiling at each other all the way to intimacy. Intimacy isn't bad...it's very beautiful and an important aspect of a marriage relationship. However, there are strict rules for when this sacred power can be used...only within the bonds of marriage.
Hershey's kiss...would you like to eat a Hershey's kiss or two and then go back to an orange? After tasting a Heshey's kiss, the orange doesn't taste as sweet.Elder Shumway in that earlier quote, mentioned that living chastely “magnifies the lyrical joys of romantic intimacy.” That’s fancy speaking; let me define what it means here. When you draw a line of where physical behavior should not go yet, it helps you thoroughly enjoy the innocent sweetness of those early stages. Heavenly Father, by giving us the law of chastity, is giving us a time and a place in our lives to enjoy the sweet, simple pleasures in life. Once you go beyond a safe “affection” zone, biology starts to kick in and you won’t be satisfied – your body wants more and more, and the simple & sweet things aren’t so sweet.
Small, simple, innocent pleasures help you build your fascination with the person you will spend the rest of your life with. After you are married and busy with schooling or work, children and running a household, plus after you have moved along on the physical spectrum, it will never be the sweet, tender, enjoyable experience that it is now. Living chastely is for our happiness because it helps us enjoy everything that romance has to offer, not just the big stuff.
Another reason for being chaste is it helps you to build a solid foundation. On our sweetness continuum, I could put this chocolate mousse cake all the way over here. It's delicious. But, Annie...let's say you had a big dance concert tomorrow...do you think it would be a good idea to eat only chocolate mousse cake all day before a concert? Why or why not? It doesn't provide a solid foundation. A marriage is built on so much more than just physical attraction. You want to marry someone who will work hard, have similar goals, enjoy some of the same activities, honor the priesthood, serve in church callings, and so on. But in order to know if a person you are dating is likely to do those things, you need to spend a lot of time talking and interacting in a variety of settings. And if you begin to become physical too quickly, you are less likely to spend your time really getting to know the person. Physical intimacy fills up your senses and you won't want to do the work necessary to really get to know the other person.
Another reason relates back to the chocolate cake. If you've eaten a healthy diet and exercised, it's not bad to enjoy a piece of cake. But certain conditions do need to be met. If you were to steal the cake and eat it in a dark room so no one would know...do you think you'd enjoy it as much? You might enjoy it while you were eating it, but soon you'd start to feel guilt and sorrow about your poor choices. The same is true when it comes to morality.
Quote #4: True to the Faith
We are going to leave the analogy now and talk about a few other aspects of the law of chastity.
I really love what Elder Bednar says about the power of procreation. The law of chastity explains that the powers of procreation...the ability to bear children...should only be exercised within marriage.
Quote #5 So neat...Heavenly Father's most prized role is that of our Father...the creator of our Spirits. He takes creation of life very seriously...and each child is entitled to birth wihtin the bonds of marriage to a father and mother who love each other. There is nothing more special or sacred than bringing a child into this world!! Nothing.
Quote #6
Elder Bednar said the following: The precise nature of the test of mortality, then, can be summarized in the following question: Will I respond to the inclinations of the natural man, or will I yield to the enticings of the Holy Spirit and put off the natural man and become a saint through the Atonement of Christ the Lord (see Mosiah 3:19)? That is the test. Every appetite, desire, propensity, and impulse of the natural man may be overcome by and through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. We are here on the earth to develop godlike qualities and to bridle all of the passions of the flesh.
The Father’s plan is designed to provide direction for His children, to help them become happy, and to bring them safely home to Him with resurrected, exalted bodies. Heavenly Father desires us to be together in the light and filled with hope. In contrast, Lucifer labors to make the sons and daughters of God confused and unhappy and to hinder their eternal progression. The overarching intent of the father of lies is that all of us would become “miserable like unto himself” (2 Nephi 2:27). Lucifer wants us ultimately to be alone in the dark and without hope.
*Satan doesn't have a body so he tries to get us to use our bodies inappropriately. So much sorrow comes into this world because people choose not to follow the law of chastity. Children are born out of wedlock. Divorce occurs. Poverty is more likely. Abuse occurs. This world would be a completely different place if we had a "return to virtue." So MANY of the troubles of this world stem from people not living this commandment.
There are such great blessings for living the law of chastity. In D&C 121:45, we are promised: "Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly, then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God". If we are chaste and virtuous, we can have the companionship of the Holy Ghost. If we are chaste and virtuous, we are worthy to enter the temple, do work for our ancestors, and some day kneel across an altar from a young man you love and who loves and cherishes you...and make sacred covenants which allow your family to be eternal. It helps you to have self respect.
Quote #7: President Marion G. Romney said, "“I can think of no blessings to be more fervently desired than those promised to the pure and the virtuous. Jesus spoke of specific rewards for different virtues but reserved the greatest, so it seems to me, for the pure in heart, ‘for they,’ said he, ‘shall see God’ (Matt. 5:8). And not only shall they see the Lord, but they shall feel at home in his presence."
Repentance is possible if you make mistakes. Violating the law of chastity is serious. It is always better to make the right choice. However, if you have made a mistake...or if you do in the future, because of the Savior's Atonement, you can be cleansed. Elder Bednar said, "The Savior is often referred to as the Great Physician, and this title has both symbolic and literal significance. All of us have experienced the pain associated with a physical injury or wound. When we are in pain, we typically seek relief and are grateful for the medication and treatments that help to alleviate our suffering. Consider sin as a spiritual wound that causes guilt or, as described by Alma to his son Corianton, “remorse of conscience” (Alma 42:18). Guilt is to our spirit what pain is to our body—a warning of danger and a protection from additional damage. From the Atonement of the Savior flows the soothing salve that can heal our spiritual wounds and remove guilt. However, this salve can only be applied through the principles of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, repentance, and consistent obedience. The results of sincere repentance are peace of conscience, comfort, and spiritual healing and renewal."
Just as I hope you wouldn't steal the chocolate cake and eat it in a closet...or eat only chocolate cake for every meal...chocolate cake is wonderful if enjoyed under certain conditions, so, too, I hope you will reserve intimacy for its proper conditions...only after married and only with your husband. It really is a sweet blessing from our Heavenly Father...a truly remarkable blessing to be married and to be spiritually, emotionally and physically intimate with your spouse and to bring children into this world. Living this law has blessed my life and it will bless your life as well.
