Why Friends Stay

 Listening to President Nelson's words in the Sunday morning session of conference, I felt inspired but also felt like I had some work to do to strengthen my spiritual foundation.  And I just wasn't sure exactly how to begin the work to learn more about the temple and strengthen my spiritual foundation.  But after listening to a video on Inklings (on Instagram) and pondering, I felt like  I should gather some women to study together and to help one another grow and become stronger.  And the thought wouldn't leave so I figured it probably was something I should act on.  Naturally, I talked about it with Sara and Jackie and then picked a date and invited some friends to join me.  Not everyone could or wanted to participate, which is okay, and a few people wanted to participate but the first date (tonight) didn't work for them.  But the few of us who gathered tonight had such a good discussion.  I felt the spirit and felt such love for these women.  And I'm looking forward to our continued discussions and studies together.  I promised a couple of women who couldn't attend, that I would take some notes and I just wanted to try to capture some of my thoughts and feelings before time had passed and I couldn't quite remember or express it.  

I began by kind of explaining why I invited them.  I shared these words from President Nelson (from October 2015, the talk entitled A Plea to My Sisters, one of my all time favorite talks:)

We, your brethren, need your strength, your conversion, your conviction, your ability to lead, your wisdom, and your voices. The kingdom of God is not and cannot be complete without women who make sacred covenants and then keep them, women who can speak with the power and authority of God!⁷

President Packer declared:

“We need women who are organized and women who can organize. We need women with executive ability who can plan and direct and administer; women who can teach, women who can speak out. …

“We need women with the gift of discernment who can view the trends in the world and detect those that, however popular, are shallow or dangerous.”⁸

Today, let me add that we need women who know how to make important things happen by their faith and who are courageous defenders of morality and families in a sin-sick world. We need women who are devoted to shepherding God’s children along the covenant path toward exaltation; women who know how to receive personal revelation, who understand the power and peace of the temple endowment; women who know how to call upon the powers of heaven to protect and strengthen children and families; women who teach fearlessly.

The women I invited are ALL these type of women.  They are women who live and act in faith. They are women who do so much good.  They are women who make and keep covenants.  I feel so incredibly blessed to know such good, righteous women.

I also shared these words from President Nelson:

Attacks against the Church, its doctrine, and our way of life are going to increase. Because of this, we need women who have a bedrock understanding of the doctrine of Christ and who will use that understanding to teach and help raise a sin-resistant generation.¹² We need women who can detect deception in all of its forms. We need women who know how to access the power that God makes available to covenant keepers and who express their beliefs with confidence and charity. We need women who have the courage and vision of our Mother Eve. 

He said that in 2015, and I feel like I have definitely seen an increase in attacks (from within and without).   I want to be a woman who can detect deception and I hope that this group can be a safe place to share why we stay and to help one another express our beliefs and strengthen our spiritual foundations.  So I posed the question:  "Why do you stay?"  And their answers were all SO good.

Jackie wasn't able to come, but she sent a message earlier about why she stays.  She feels sad that her kids and grandkids are not doing the things that will bring them to Christ.  She worries that as things get hard in their lives, they will have no center.  No compass. No Jesus.  She said she stays for many reasons but partly so her prayers are more readily heard.  For the peace that she can petition the Lord, as Alma did, for her children will turn away from the wickedness of the world and seek Jesus.  She stays because it brings her peace.  It feels like she is headed home when she keeps her covenants.  She wants to look forward to the day when her journey moves forward.  

Melissa spoke about growing up in the church but rebelling a bit as a teen.  She didn't have great friends and wanted to change but really needed to know for herself what she believed.  She found that the gospel grounds her.  She began living the gospel because she wanted to and not because she was told to.  She thought a lot about what type of mom and person she wanted to be.  And she said she stays because she feels peace.  She knows the Savior.  She said she's had a handful of experiences where heaven and earth have touched.  She thinks of Joseph Smith's words "I knew it and I knew that God knew that I knew it."  It's real.  She also spoke about how Christ knows everything we feel.  He understands all of it, good and bad.

Sara spoke about how her experiences, good and bad, have helped her gain a testimony.  She said she knows it's true.  

Heather said her reasons for staying have changed throughout her life.  Her family is so important to her.  She shared that her sister isn't active.  Her sister's stake president had counseled them to pray daily as a couple and her sister has said that after they stopped, things changed and got harder.  She explained that she has seen the Lord's hand too many times.  She's received needed counsel in priesthood blessings.  She's seen little miracles as she has paid tithing or prayed.  And her children have seen these miracles too.  

Sara talked about the small and simple things and how vital they are.  Going to church.  Scripture study.  These things hold us together and invite the spirit into our lives.  

Heather spoke about how her son always needs to know the why behind things.  But as they study and discuss he is able to see the miracles that happened in church history or begin to understand why.  She said she has to stay or they wouldn't.  

And we discussed how the decisions of one person/couple can affect generations. President Hinckley said, “When you save a girl, you save generations.”  (I said that this haunts me because I think about it often and I worry about those that I am not reaching.)

Lilia spoke about how personal it is.  She stays because of her relationship with the Savior and Heavenly Father.  She talked about some of the hard questions that she and her husband have faced.  Questions about race and the priesthood.  Questions about why certain policies were enacted.  She has had to do a lot of searching.  But she has had experiences with the Holy Ghost and with God.  God is real and true.  She realized at one point that she could believe in God and not be in the Church.  She could choose to go toward anger and disappointment...but at the end of the day, she realized that humans are not perfect but God is real and she trusts Him.  Prophets are inspired though imperfect.  So she chooses to hold on to what she does know.  She said there is nothing out there in the world like the gospel.  Nowhere else that gives her what she gets here, despite her questions.

Sara spoke about also having questions that aren't resolved, but as she has studied and searched for answers, she comes back to her knowledge that God loves His children.  She has wrestled, but that is when she has most deeply felt His love.  You can have faith and still have questions. She has learned that it's okay to have questions.

La shared that she's had periods where she has had an inkling of what it might be like without the gospel.  She's gone through some hard experiences and said she feels infinitely better when she turns to God and trusts Him.  He never fails her.  She knows and feels goodness when she is surrounded by good people.  Being way from God never feels good.  She said her sister feels defeated and unneeded and she wishes she had a group like this.  

Lilia recommended a book entitled Planted.

Lilia spoke about how wards and stakes often put us with people that we might not choose to associate with if we weren't sort of thrust together.  It has helped teach her to see others as human.  Can she love others even when she disagrees with them? 

La said the antidote to struggling with someone is to serve them.  Serve them and serve with them.  

Sara has a friend in Nevada that was struggling during the pandemic.  IN her prayers, she felt prompted to serve those she was most bothered by.  She got to know them and it changed things.

Often, I shared, if we will take the time to listen to someone who seems to be very different or to have very different political views, we can find that we have more in common than we think.  And even if we disagree, we can often find things that we can respect about their viewpoint if we listen and ask questions and don't make assumptions.  

Jan reminded us that Satan's goal is to divide and get us to contend.  Especially those in the church, those of us who are supposed to be building Zion.  La spoke about this very thing in church a week and a half ago.  In many ways the pandemic has been a disease of the heart...how we respond to others and to this challenge is a test.

Sara spoke of how Jan often shows up when she needs something, without being asked.  She knows that if she needs something, she can turn to Jan. And that we shouldn't assume that others are ok based only on outward appearances.  Jan:  We need one another.  We are stronger together.

I talked about recognizing that often when we feel we are being judged, it's more about OUR feelings of guilt or not belonging or whatever.  Often those we think are judging us aren't even thinking about us at all because they are busy juggling their own challenges.  And often if they are thinking of us, they are thinking kind things or thinking they wish they knew how to help.  Satan uses these thoughts to try to draw us away and he is so good at it.  Lilia:  Much of the times we think we are being judged, it is really more about the narratives we are telling ourselves.  If we want to change how we feel, we must change our narratives. 

Satan will find little things to distract us or draw us away.  Get us to miss church or skip scripture study or whatever...and soon we are distanced.

La spoke about how Brian's dad wasn't active.  Brian had to make sacrifices and make personal decisions about whether to be active, go on a mission, etc.  He had to fight to live the gospel and when she thinks of his sacrifices, she wants to stay true to honor his sacrifices and not have them be in vain.

Sara's mom chose to go to church despite her parents being less active.  When she thinks of her mom's sacrifices and how that has blessed her and her sisters and their families, she wants to share those stories with her children and help them recognize the sacrifices and not take them for granted.

I spoke about one of my reasons being that in the words of Michael Wilcox...I don't want to break the chain.   I had many faithful ancestors that sacrificed so much.   Losing homes and family members, crossing the plains, and staying faithful despite real hardships.  I can't imagine standing before them some day and saying that I neglected the legacy they gave me because my (privileged, pretty easy overall) life was too hard.  I can't imagine saying that I was upset about the polygamy they LIVED and practiced so I left or that I was upset about this or that doctrine or church policy and so I walked away.  

Lilia said that if she left, she would be turning her back on God.  

Laurel said that is why she stays...because of Christ, she learns of Him, renews her covenants with Him, becomes like Him.  That's why she goes to church.

For me, the words in John 6:  66-69 have rung in my head for months now:  "¶ From that time many of his ^adisciples went back, and ^bwalked no more with him.

67 Then said Jesus unto the twelve, Will ye also go away?

68 Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the ^awords of eternal life.

69 And ^awe believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the ^bSon of the living God."

Where would I go?  I don't want to walk away from Him.  I love Him.  He is my biggest reason for staying.

Jan talked about how much we need each other.  We need the strength that we get from one another.  We need the service and love we provide for one another.  (I didn't speak up, but I feel this deeply.  I love my job and I work with great people.  I've had opportunities to work on committees and in different organizations in the world and many of them do some great things.  So I don't want to minimize the good that is done by many people of the world.  BUT...for me, there is something unique and special about serving alongside other men and women of faith.  Partly because of what we are able to accomplish.  But mostly because it feels different.  I feel like I have mostly been treated with respect in my job and other experiences.  But there is a different feeling... a feeling of a common purpose and unity, a desire to follow God and love our fellowman, a depth of love and compassion...that is present in much of my church service that is missing in the work I do in the world. Or that is not there in the same way.  I'm not sure I am articulating that well, but there is power in the combined efforts of people of faith.  Of course there is--there is power in covenants!)

Hayley was pretty quiet, but shared a bit about preparing for her mission.  She will hopefully get her mission call next week!  She is going to be amazing!  

 And there were more things said and shared that I didn't get recorded.

There was more discussion, but I was eating cake and didn't take more notes.

But there was a beautiful spirit.  

We are going to meet on the 2nd Wednesday of each month and I hope it will be a source of strength and inspiration and goodness in all of our lives.  I am truly grateful to have such incredible women around me.  I was 100% serious that they are the type of women President Nelson described!  What a privilege to be surrounded by them and to learn from them.

One thing I didn't share that I will probably share next time is how pivotal the temple is to my staying.  Maybe that's how I'll begin the next "meeting".  But oh how grateful I am for these women!

Aubrey Trial Becomes Blessing

 Claire and Aubrey taught the YW lesson on Sunday.  They did such a great job.  I was especially happy that it went so well because in the past when I have asked Aubrey to teach, she has declined.  But she has grown a lot in the past two years, and she has shared/participated more in YW classes lately, so I was happy that she was willing to teach.  The lesson was on how we can access the powers of heaven.  But near the end, she talked a little bit about adversity and why bad things sometimes happen to good people.  And she shared that years ago, her grandparents experienced serious financial difficulty.  And they basically lost everything they owned temporally.  It was a terrible trial for them.  BUT Aubrey said, because of that trial, her grandparents live with her (or rather...her family and her dad's parents live with her mom's mom...her maternal grandmother, Yvonne is an incredible lady and shares her home with her daughter Noel and her family as well as with Noel's in-laws).  

A couple of years ago, Aubrey was struggling. She read a book at school that really shook her faith.  And she just wasn't sure she believed anything about the gospel.  And I think she was facing some other difficulties.  Anyway, she shared today that her grandpa asked if he could read the Book of Mormon with her each day.  And so for the past 2 years, they have read the scriptures together nearly every day.  She also asks him lots of questions, because she said, "He knows everything."   Her testimony is so strong now, and she is clearly so much happier and thriving in a way that makes me so happy to see.  So, she said, "I'm grateful that my grandpa had that trial to lose everything financially because it led to so many blessings and lessons for me."

LESSONS LEARNED:

*Trials can teach us critical lessons and bless us immeasurably.

*Studying the Book of Mormon increases faith and testimony.  

Ruth Lost Counterfeit

 Ruth, the sweet wife of our stake president, spoke in our ward yesterday. She told of a recent experience where her husband took their dog Steve for a walk, and a few minutes later he came back and said he'd lost Steve.  Something had spooked Steve, he'd gotten away (I can't remember the exact details), and Steve had tried to chase him and then came home to get the truck to search for him.  Ruth quickly texted a couple of neighbors and put an announcement on Facebook as they hopped in the car to search.  A few minutes later their door camera chimed and a neighbor was at their door with Steve while they were still driving around.  Steve had been found.  Ruth compared this to our brothers and sisters who are lost.  Our Heavenly Parents long for them to be found.  We should long for that as well.  Our Lord loves lost things as evidenced by the parables of the lost coin, lost sheep and prodigal son.  

Then Ruth told of an expert on counterfeit bills.  He is one of the best in the nation at recognizing counterfeit bills.  Once a reporter said he must spend a lot of time studying counterfeit bills.  He replied that he never studies counterfeit bills.  He spends countless hours studying the real bills so that he can recognize any subtle difference between the real bill and a fake.  We, too, should come to know the real thing (the gospel of Jesus Christ) so thoroughly that we an recognize when a counterfeit idea or concept is placed before us.

LESSONS LEARNED:

*Knowing the REAL or true thing can help us avoid counterfeits or deceptions.

*The Lord loves lost things.

*Losing someone brings loss, panic, worry, sorry...but finding them or helping them find God brings peace, joy, increased faith and trust.

Find Seek Sara

 My dearest friend Sara spoke in sacrament meeting today.  Her talk was on seeking the good.  

She shared an experience she had this summer.  In July, she and some of her family went to look at the apartment that Liv would be living in this year down at Snow College.  It was darling.  Then when they went to move Liv in a few weeks later, they were told to write down every little flaw...any scratches or nicks or holes or dents.  Sara went through the place very carefully (FAR more carefully than Michelle and I did when she moved in so hopefully Michelle doesn't have to pay a big fee at the end of the year)...and filled 4 pages with every tiny scratch and imperfection.  And by the time she was done, she felt like Liv's apartment was a terrible place.  And what had changed?  The second time she went specifically looking for the bad and the flawed...and she found it.  

She shared this quote by Elder Uchtdorf:  

Have you ever noticed that people can usually find whatever they are looking for? Look hard enough, and you can discover both good and bad in almost anyone and anything. People have done the same with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints since its beginning. Those who look for the good will find a kind and compassionate people—a people who love the Lord and desire to serve Him and bless the lives of their fellowman. But it is also true that those who look for the bad will certainly find things that are not so ideal.

Unfortunately, at times this happens even within the Church. There is no end to the creativity, ingenuity, and tenacity of those who look for reasons to criticize. They cannot seem to release their grip on grudges. They gossip and find fault with others. They nurse wounds for decades, taking every opportunity to tear down and demean others. This is not pleasing to the Lord, “for where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work” (James 3:16).

She also shared the following sweet story about our dear ward member Susan Vincent.  A few years ago, Susan was experiencing health struggles (she still is) and she had just lost her mom. Life felt really hard, and she was discouraged and upset.  One day she saw a picture of Eeyore.  She thought about his gloomy attitude and suddenly wondered if she was having that effect on those she loved and those who spent time with her.  She vowed to complain less and get rid of the "Eeyore effect".  It took a lot of conscientious effort, but she has worked hard to try to see the blessings she has and to not complain about her problems.  

She shared a few other experiences and scriptures and testified that we can find the good in everyone and everything if only we will look for it.

LESSONS LEARNED:

*Avoid the "Eeyore" syndrome.

*Look for the good in others and in experiences.

*Even simple, every day experiences can be powerful teachers if we are consciously looking for the lessons.

 

Identity Sacred Enneagram

 I'm reading a book called The Sacred Enneagram.  I have heard of the Enneagram, but really don't know much about it.   My assumption has been that it is a type of personality test though the tiny bit of reading I've done so far makes me think that maybe that's not quite right. And I think I saw this book recommended somewhere, though I can't remember where.  Anyway, I'm only on chapter 1 though I've skimmed a couple of other chapters (kind of hoping to find the "personality test" that would identify my enneagram number).  

But I love these things so far.  The author relates a story on the first page of his spiritual leader, Father Larry Gillick, visiting an elementary school.  After he spoke to some of the students, a girl came up to him and suddenly she said, "You're blind!"  He said, "That's not news to me."

The young girl replied, "You don't know what you look like."  Then immediately she whispered, "You're beautiful!"

The author, Christopher Heuertz then explains that to some extent most/all of us are blind...we don't see our own beauty.  He writes:

Each and every one of us is beautiful.  Each and every one of us is beloved by God.

From this starting point we can begin an honest interrogation of the depths of our identity, of who we really are.  When we accept our inherent beauty, we find the courage to examine what makes us beautiful-to honestly encounter both the good and the bad, the shadow and the light. (16)

He also explains the difference between identity and dignity...identity tells us who we are and dignity tells us what we are worth.  He asserts that "all humanity bears the imprint of the Divine, that we are made in the image of God.  This is the starting point for drawing forward our sense of dignity, the intrinsic value that is ascribed not earned, based on our essence in reflecting a good and loving God.  If we can start with the grace of resting in our dignity, then the truth of our identity flows forward" (17)   In other words, we have value because we are children of God, and once we truly understand that, we don't try to find our value in things that we DO or DON'T DO.  

Trunk or treat

 The Granger Single Adult ward in our stake offered to do a trunk or treat for the rest of the stake.  It was rainy so they moved it inside but they did such a great job decorating rooms/areas and making it fun for the kids and teens.  

Spencer Mourn Celebration

My dear friend Liz lost her son to suicide a couple of weeks ago.  Spencer was Michelle's age.  They graduated from Hunter High together and were both in the same dorm up at Utah State.  They knew each other, and Spencer had really helped her pass physics when they were juniors, though they weren't close friends.  It was a tragic loss...Spencer was intelligent and talented and had so much to offer the world.  

Liz wanted to do a celebration of life for Spencer rather than a viewing.  She wanted it to be an opportunity to remember some of the things that Spencer loved and to also create a space for others to learn and connect and be strengthened.  She sent an email to Sara that explained the vision she had and Sara shared it with those of us who were helping to put things together.

"Each area has a theme, focused parts of Spencer’s life.  These also just happen to be great ways to cope with stress and support one another.  People in those areas could be people in Spencer’s life.  Maybe a name tag for them, with a line about who they are.  I’m not going to implicate any family members, but I’ll tell them they are invited to stay in any area they like.  Maybe a stack of blank name tags, in case they want to stay in an area and help.  I would very much like people to build connections from the time they spend with us that evening.

I have some quotes and scriptures about trees and outdoor spaces that I’ll get to you, which I think might be nice to have among the trees or on the walls somehow.  

We don’t want to beat around the bush when it comes to suicide.  We would like to have some cards with resources for suicide prevention.

Some people have indicated that this is a trial for our family.  While it certainly is challenging, and we are still working on what it means for us going forward, I can’t minimize the pain and suffering that led my son to take his own life.  That is a trial.  We have felt surrounded by love and support from the moment we shared our sorrow with family and friends.  For whatever reason, Spencer didn’t readily see the love which has surrounded him since birth.  I hope that in the end, my children, husband, and I will only see this experience as one that brings us together, not a trial."

Isn't Liz amazing?  

So I was privileged to be able to help set up for and help with the celebration of life and the luncheon.  Spencer loved the woods and so we asked people to bring their Christmas trees and we set them up in the cultural hall. We had nearly 150 trees.  People are so kind.  So many people brought their trees and entrusted them to our care for this event.  It was heartwarming.  Most of them knew Liz and her family, but some didn't.  And then so many people helped with making cookies or helping to set up or take down or do other parts. Sara oversaw everything.  Melissa, Heather, Susan, Jackie, Jan, Whitney and Miranda were all heavily involved in preparing things. It was a sad but beautiful weekend.

A few things I don't want to forget.  

Several people that didn't know Liz's family or barely knew them helped in profound ways.  Debbie is the mother of two of the teachers at Hunter High and she spent about 5 hours on Thursday helping to set up Christmas trees.  Natalie is in my ward and is a talented photographer.  She has taken some gorgeous photos of trees and Sara asked if we could use a few of them for the celebration of life.  When she brought them over along with her Christmas tree, she ended up staying for a couple of hours to put up trees.   I put a request on Instagram for trees and one of the girls in my book club who lives in South Jordan let me borrow her tree.  Jackie and Whitney both helped for hours and don't know Liz very well. There are, I'm sure, many other examples of people that helped without even knowing Liz's family.

On Thursday, when we were setting up things for the celebration of life, Liz sent over dinner for those of us who were helping.  She has expressed such gratitude and has showed concern for others during this difficult time.  She asked how my girls, especially Michelle, reacted to the news and thanked me for talking about suicide with them.  (Side note, just because I don't want to forget...Michelle came for the funeral and celebration of life.  She headed back to Logan last night because she had an appointment with her Bishop today.  I thought maybe she would get a calling.  Instead, her Bishop just wanted to see how she was doing after the funeral and make sure she was okay.  I haven't met him, but I love her Bishop.  I still hope she'll get a calling or some type of responsibility, but I love that he checked in with her to make sure she was okay.)

I got to help Liz's nieces (and many other children) build with legos.  Her nephew Levi who is a toddler even sat on my lap for a bit, and I had a nice visit with her brother.  It really was a beautiful evening at the celebration.  

I can't really articulate what I felt, but there was a spirit of love and unity and shared purpose as we worked to set up, serve at the luncheon, clean up, etc.  I already knew and loved these women, but I had some beautiful conversations about the gospel, about faith, about Joseph Smith, and about loving others as we worked.  On Friday morning, Sara sent a text to the group text thread we'd been using to share ideas and expressed her gratitude for all that we'd done.  Immediately my thoughts turned to President Nelson's talk A Plea to My Sisters.  These women I worked alongside are beautiful examples of the type of women President Nelson described:

We, your brethren, need your strength, your conversion, your conviction, your ability to lead, your wisdom, and your voices. The kingdom of God is not and cannot be complete without women who make sacred covenants and then keep them, women who can speak with the power and authority of God!⁷

President Packer declared:

“We need women who are organized and women who can organize. We need women with executive ability who can plan and direct and administer; women who can teach, women who can speak out. …

“We need women with the gift of discernment who can view the trends in the world and detect those that, however popular, are shallow or dangerous.”⁸

Today, let me add that we need women who know how to make important things happen by their faith and who are courageous defenders of morality and families in a sin-sick world. We need women who are devoted to shepherding God’s children along the covenant path toward exaltation; women who know how to receive personal revelation, who understand the power and peace of the temple endowment; women who know how to call upon the powers of heaven to protect and strengthen children and families; women who teach fearlessly."

That is the type of woman Liz is, and it is the type of woman that Sara, Susan, Whitney, Melissa, Heather, Jackie, Jan and Miranda are.  It's the type of woman I am striving to be. It strengthens me to be around them.  

I wish every youth I knew...and really every person I knew that was struggling could have heard the talks at the funeral and could have seen the love that was being shown for Spencer.  I know life can be hard and lonely and I know that depression is real and can be debilitating.  I don't fully understand what Spencer or others experience but my heart aches for them.  And so I wish that those who are struggling could catch a glimpse of the impact they have on others' lives.  Could somehow see the potential that lies within them and see just how needed they are in this world.  I wish that each youth that I know and love could recognize that they are enveloped in love, surrounded by so many that want what is best for them, and that they could feel just a sliver of the hope and love that I felt this weekend.

I appreciated the beautiful messages shared at the funeral.  Spencer's grandpa shared the eulogy, a cousin shared some of his memories as well as other family member's memories of Spencer and bore testimony of the Savior's ability to succor us and that they would see Spencer again, his brother talked a bit about some of their shared interests as well as his love for Spencer, Brittany (a family friend/ward member) spoke about mourning, and Bishop McPherron spoke a bit about mental health and bore testimony of the Savior.  There were also beautiful musical numbers, including a rendition of Lead Kindly Light, I Need Thee Every Hour and Lord, I Would Follow Thee (I'm pretty sure...I didn't bring a program home so I'm writing that from memory and I may be incorrect).  All of the talks were so beautiful.  I loved that Brittany talked about grief and mourning.  Grief, she said, is the response we have to losing someone we love.  It's the price we pay for loving well.  Mourning is the outward expression of the inward feelings.  And as covenant followers of Jesus Christ, it is part of our covenant to mourn with those who mourn and to comfort those who stand in need of comfort.  To be in that space with them and to show through our actions that we are grieving alongside them.  It was a beautiful talk...beautifully written and delivered with eloquence and deep and obvious love.   

I feel like I can't adequately express all that I felt.  I came home very tired, but also so grateful to be part of a community/stake that cares for one another.  And with a desire to love others better.  To be a little better at reaching out and sharing love with those around me.  To be a little more devoted to loving God and loving my fellow man.  To be the kind of woman that President Nelson described.  And to help others see the ways in which THEY exemplify these characteristics that President Nelson described.