Rambling thoughts:
I have been trying to reread every talk this month before conference. Didn't quite make it but it has been so good. (I have read them all 1 or more times in the past 6 months but didn't quite get all of them in September.) I have been thinking a lot about faith in September. And at one point feeling pretty discouraged that I don't have more faith in certain aspects. But I had my temple recommend interview last weekend and asked a couple of questions before we started and received such comforting counsel. And felt a lot of the heavy burden lift. And this morning pondering Adam and Eve felt more peace, as I anxiously await conference. And then these words from Elder Ochoa in my conference talk tonight: "If you look back on your life, I believe you will see that you have exercised faith many times. Joining the Church is an act of faith. Speaking with Heavenly Father in prayer is an act of faith. Reading the scriptures is an act of faith. Listening to my message in this general conference is an act of faith. As President Russell M. Nelson has said, “Do not minimize the faith you already have.” There are ways I still need to strengthen my faith...that is true. But I am grateful to be reminded that I have done things that have required faith.
Today I went to the temple with Sara. It was so good to be there. One thought I had was about Adam and Eve and how when they’re commanded to sacrifice they don’t understand why. But they act, they follow the command they have received and wait for further enlightenment and understanding. What if when our prophets and apostles gave us counsel that we don’t understand or that seems contrary to what we feel or believe, what if we then obeyed immediately and prayed for greater understanding? In my experience when we do this, we receive blessings. Often we come to understand why that council was given. We see that God asked us to do these things because he loves us. Sara was saying that at least in some cases it’s not because people don’t and wants what is best for In my experience when we do this, we receive blessings. Often we come to understand why that council was given. We see that God asked us to do these things because he loves us. Sara was saying that at least in some cases it’s not because people don’t believe God loves them and wants what is best for them but it is because they don’t fully believe or trust that what the prophet is saying is God‘s word. They don’t believe what it says in Doctrine and Covenants 1 that “whether by my own own voice or by the voice of my servants it is the same.” Or they hear promised blessings and don’t feel like they’re receiving those blessings and so they begin to doubt. It is hard, really hard, when you are trying to do what is right and the blessing you desire is a good one and it’s not happening for you. I’ll try to remember that when my prayers are not being answered or I am not receiving the blessings that I desire, that while some of the blessings will come in this life, some are reserved for the next life. And the blessings that I receive in this life may be a little different than the blessings that someone else receives. but what I have seen over and over and over again is that God is aware of me and is sending blessings to me, even if sometimes a specific blessing is withheld. And so often when I live the doctrine that’s being taught I come to see why it is important and how we can bless me. John 7:17: “If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself.”
Also I Loved a post about conference by brave like Eve on Instagram today. I am including a photo of the post and my comment.
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