It was an exhausting and kind of hard week. My class is cute but they seem really emotionally needy which can be exhausting. And I just had a lot going on this week. And so by Friday, I just felt completely drained. But Alfredo was going out of town and I had a very busy weekend with a lot that needed to be done...and the girls had busy weekends also. I really just wanted to curl up in my bed and sleep. Well, I remembered that in past times I have seen that the Savior is able to enable me to do more than I can on my own. With His help I have many times been able to accomplish more than it seemed possible in the hours I had available. So after feeling sad and tired for awhile and talking things over with Alfredo and texting Sara about my rough day and exhaustion, I decided to pray and ask for the Savior to enable me to do what needed to be done. I still felt exhausted on Saturday morning. Just so totally drained. So I looked up scriptures under "weary" and found Isaiah 40 (and several other beautiful verses):
28 ¶ Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the aeverlasting God, the Lord, the bCreator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no csearching of his understanding.
29 He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.
30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:
31 But they that await upon the Lord shall brenew their cstrength; they shall mount up with wings as deagles; they shall erun, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
I was familiar with verse 31 but don't think I had ever paid attention to the other verses, especially 28, before. God never faints or is weary. He gives power to the faint and increases strength. This was exactly what I needed. So that's what I prayed for. I never stopped feeling tired yesterday, not once. But I just kept praying that Heavenly Father and the Savior could grant me a bit of their strength because mine felt completely gone. And I'd feel like I had the energy to do one more thing. And then just enough to do one more. I got grocery shopping and laundry done, my house cleaned, the lawn mowed, and a bunch of schoolwork done. And did almost all of it by myself because my Alfredo was out of town and my girls were gone most of the day. I know it wasn't me...I literally still wanted to crawl into bed and just sleep. But I got as much/more done than I usually do even on days when I feel energetic...so I know that was an answer to prayer and the enabling power of the Savior. I have experienced it before and I'm so grateful for it! My life is busy...filled with good things...and I'm so grateful that when I try to do my best and then ask the Lord for help, He grants part of His strength and goodness to me.On Friday, one of my cute former YW (who is now in college) called and asked if I was home. I told her I would be really soon. She asked if she could stop by. She did. Over the summer, she has been making cookies and selling them to help pay for college. I usually order some. This time I didn't order any. When she dropped by on Friday, she had a box of cookies for me...a box I hadn't ordered or paid for...because she made extra and wanted me to have one and know that she loves me. It was a simple thing but it held meaning for us...and on such a hard day it reminded me that I'm not alone and that others, including and especially my Heavenly Father, are mindful of me.
Then today, my 1st counselor had a family emergency and couldn't make it to church. I found out just as YW was starting that she wouldn't be there...and she was supposed to teach. Now I used to be really diligent and study every lesson even when I wasn't teaching...but I haven't done that for awhile. And at first, I thought I probably had enough to say to take up 5-10 minutes of the lesson which was on sincere, meaningful prayer. So I said a quick prayer and figured we could begin by reading and discussing the suggested verses in the lesson and what they mean and teach us about prayer and interject my few thoughts into the discussion and hoped that inspiration would come and that the young women would participate. As we began to read and discuss the verses of scripture, the girls shared some thoughts...and some things that I'd heard in some LDS podcasts I had watched earlier in the week came to mind and I shared them. One thing that I really loved was a woman saying that one day she was praying for her children and the answer that came was that when she prays for them, the Lord is bound to do something to help or bless them. Bound. It might be something that seems almost imperceptible at the time, but when we pray for others, He is bound to come to their aid. I also shared with them how exhausted I had been feeling and how I prayed for strength and received it...but also that I realized that my FIRST instinct wasn't to pray. My first instinct was to turn to Alfredo and friends. I said it isn't bad to turn to others for help...we need others and they can often give us good advice and aid. But I think I have a pretty good relationship with my Heavenly Father...but it would be even better if I turned to Him first so why don't I! As we read a few verses of scripture, the young women made a few comments and so did Sadie and Brenda. Then the thought came that I should ask what the challenges are or what keeps us from saying meaningful prayers. So I asked that and we ended up having a beautiful discussion where the girls really opened up about why maybe they don't always say meaningful prayers and we talked about some ways to help those challenges. And our Bishop, Bishop Carlson, was there and so he shared some thoughts and the spirit was palpable as he spoke and it was a great meeting. And again...I know it wasn't me. I wasn't prepared...at least not in any traditional sense of having studied the lesson and prayed and pondered in advance to know what to share. But because I try to fill my mind and spirit with good things, I had been led to listen to those podcasts which would help me. And I was able to hear the promptings of the spirit to know which direction to take the lesson. And the spirit helped others in the room know what to share. And it was really beautiful. Our Savior and Heavenly Father are so good! It's so beautiful to see evidence of them working through us...despite our weakness, lack of strength, imperfections, etc. I am just so grateful that in small ways I am able to be an instrument in their hands. I know that yesterday and today weren't huge miraculous events. They were small and pretty simple...but nevertheless they were absolutely evidence that my Savior and Father are mindful of me. Such beautiful, tender mercies!! And I also believe it is further evidence of how much our Heavenly Father loves these remarkable young women. Because I'm trying (in my very imperfect way) to serve them to the best of my ability, and because it was through not fault of my own or my counselor's that the lesson didn't go as planned with her teaching, the Lord stepped in and through the promptings of the Holy Ghost we were able to learn together and be taught by the spirit and it WAS given me in the very hour what I should say. I'm so, so thankful.
No comments:
Post a Comment