In May, only a couple of us were able to gather to discuss Elder Bednar's talk, But We Heeded Them Not. But we had a great discussion and a couple of others sent their thoughts via text.
Here are my notes about our discussion:
Sara's favorite part: "Living and Loving covenant commitments creates a connection with the Lord that is deeply personal and spiritually powerful." She has felt that power and is thankful for the blessings of covenants and for a Father who loves her and knows exactly what she needs. Her personal theme for 2021 was "we heeded them not" so this talk meant a lot to her.
Jackie loved this: "Also mentioned frequently are the spiritual support of faithful family members and trusted friends, the vital lessons learned through ministering and serving in the Lord’s restored Church, and the capacity to discern the absolute emptiness of anything in or coming from the great and spacious building." She is so grateful for family and friends who are such shining examples of "heeding not". She said, "You all strengthen me, and I love to learn more about the covenant relationship with our Savior in this group."
I loved this talk in conference. I have spent a lot of time the past year worrying about those whose faith is wavering and feeling sad about those who are choosing to walk away. So I want to understand how to "heed not" the world and the doubts that seem so rampant...and this talk felt like a big part of the answer. I want to read and study and apply it.
My notes from our discussion this time aren't great...but I'll share what I wrote down and remember.
More than anything I want to help my children and the youth gain strong testimonies and be able to "heed not" the wicked world around them. I don't have all the answers on how to do that, but I have been thinking a lot about Elder Andersen's teachings that it requires both high expectations and high love. (https://www.thechurchnews.com/leaders-and-ministry/2021-06-24/elder-andersen-mission-leadership-seminar-faith-love-217523) The world champions love but is less keen about expectations, but I can see that they are both needed. And I don't think I ever get the balance quite right. But I think that is a big key in teaching the youth and our children...to have both high expectations and high love.
My favorite quote in the talk was this: "Living and loving covenant commitments creates a connection with the Lord that is deeply personal and spiritually powerful. As we honor the conditions of sacred covenants and ordinances, we gradually and incrementally are drawn closer to Him13 and experience the impact of His divinity and living reality in our lives. Jesus then becomes much more than the central character in scripture stories; His example and teachings influence our every desire, thought, and action."
That is what I want...to have Christ be the central character in my every desire, thought and action. None of us felt like we are there yet. But that is what we want...who we want to become.
Sharon was really interested in this phrase from that paragraph: "As we honor the conditions of sacred covenants and ordinances, we gradually and incrementally are drawn closer to Him". She asked what the conditions are. It's an interesting word choice...what is a covenant condition? We've thought about the requirements to be able to enter into a covenant (baptismal interview, worthiness questions for temple recommend, repentance, faith, etc.) And of course there are consequences for both disobedience and obedience to the covenants made. But what are the conditions of sacred covenants.
I looked up the word conditions. These two may be related to what is meant, especially the second definition.
1.
the circumstances affecting the way in which people live or work, especially with regard to their safety or well-being. 2. have a significant influence on or determine (the manner or outcome of something).
Our covenants should have a significant influence on how we choose to live and on our well-being, safety and happiness.
But after our discussion I did some more looking. Webster's 1828 dictionary has more definitions. (I like to use this one, especially when looking up words in the Doctrine and Covenants and Book of Mormon because it has the meanings for words at the time that Joseph Smith was translating/recording revelations and sometimes meanings have shifted over time. So it is helpful to think about the words he used and what they would have meant to him and to the early Saints.)
Here are the definitions from the 1828 dictionary:
1. State; a particular mode of being; applied to external circumstances, to the body, to the mind, and to things. We speak of a good condition or a bad condition in reference to wealth and poverty; in reference to health and sickness; in reference to a cheerful or depressed disposition of mind; and with reference to a sound or broken, perishing state of things. The word signifies a setting or fixing, and has a very general and indefinite application, coinciding nearly with state, from sto, to stand, and denotes that particular frame, form, mode or disposition, in which a thing exists, at any given time. A man is in a good condition when he is thriving. A nation, with an exhausted treasury and burthened with taxes, is not in a condition to make war. A poor man is in a humble condition Religion affords consolation to man in every condition of life. Exhortations should be adapted to the condition of the mind.
2. Quality; property; attribute.
6. Terms of a contract or covenant; stipulation; that is, that which is set, fixed, established or proposed. What are the conditions of the treaty?
8. Terms given, or provided, as the ground of something else; that which is established, or to be done, or to happen, as requisite to another act; as, I will pay a sum of money, on condition you will engage to refund it.
So the conditions of covenants could be the terms, the requirements, the attributes or even the circumstances of the covenant.
We talked about having a role to play here on Earth. Sharon has felt like there is something she needs to do that she wouldn't have done if Cal lived. She isn't sure what that is. Susan (Vincent) shared that when she was having heart surgery she received a blessing and was told that her time wasn't finished; she still has an important work to do. Though she doesn't know what it is for certain. We talked about the influence we have in callings...Susan has such an impact on the children in primary. And sometimes we have an impact that we aren't even aware of. Sometimes even small things help others take the next step on the covenant path. I loved in the Follow Him podcast last week that John Hilton III told of a time when he was a stake clerk. Not the most glamorous of callings. One day he was signing a check for the YW to ride a bus to girls camp. He was thinking that he would rather be speaking at girls camp than signing the check for the bus. That he'd have more impact that way and enjoy it more. But the spirit told him that the bus would get the girls to camp and perhaps some of them would have an experience there that would have a significant impact on them. Perhaps camp would be what helped them to take the next step on the covenant path. Every thing we do can help others...John Hilton said he tries not to think of serving in nursery as giving out cheerios or signing a check as just signing a check but that every time we faithfully magnify our calling, we have the potential to help someone take the next step on the covenant path.
Sharon was telling a niece about a book she had read. She found out later that her niece had been really struggling and that conversation had helped her turn a corner.
Harell Breinholt commented shortly after Cal's death that he didn't know exactly what Cal was doing but he must be really busy doing good. Harell didn't know Cal particularly well, but something about the way Cal lived/bore testimony clearly touched Harell.
Elder Bednar said, "Please note that the ability to resist the temptations and the fiery darts of the adversary is promised to those individuals who "hold fast to" rather than merely "cling to" the word of God. It's interesting because "cling to" seems like you are holding on pretty tight. But maybe the difference is not merely in how firmly you are holding on but also the duration of holding on?
He talked about having the spiritual capacity to press forward through challenges. Sometimes as we listen to those going through hard things and remain faithful we can wonder if we would in the same circumstances. Sometimes it is difficult to approach challenges in faith. But also we probably often don't give ourselves enough credit for all that we are doing and the times we have endured faithfully. We discussed how most of us--probably all of us--will have moments where we reach a fork in the road and have to make a conscientious choice...do I continue to follow the Savior or go a different way. Do I rely on my faith or listen to my doubts? We are, in a sense, on a precipice and our choice can have long-lasting consequences. I don't think there is anything wrong with someone who reaches that crossroads. I don't think it means you have done something wrong or bad...I think it is part of the testing that is an inevitable and necessary part of this earthly life. So I don't think we should feel like we are less than because we have ever contemplated taking a different path. But I do think we should be so grateful for the ways in which the spirit, our covenants, our family and friends, leaders or others help us to choose to stay on the path.
We talked about what helps us to heed not. Elder Bednar asked people and their common responses were the Holy Ghost, scripture study, fervent prayer, sacrament...all the things we know to do (but could probably improve on in some way). But I thought this last one was SO interesting: "and the capacity to discern the absolute emptiness of anything in or coming from the great and spacious building." Over the past couple of years, I have seen so clearly in scripture study that the adversary has NOTHING to offer us. I mean, he makes lots of promises but he never fulfills them. As soon as he gets someone to follow him, he traps them and then abandons them. He has nothing of any lasting value to offer us, even though at times his temptations seem alluring. I've also thought a lot about the way the great and spacious building is described. It's floating in air...it has no foundation. And the people within the building are pointing and mocking those not inside. In my experience, when I am TRULY happy and truly having a joyful experience, I am either so caught up in the experience that I'm not really thinking about others that aren't there... I am fully immersed in the experience. And/or I am having such a good time that my thought is that I want to share what I have with others. I don't think it is in the nature of true happiness to spend your time mocking those that aren't having a good time. I think we only do that when in actuality we are empty inside ourselves. If the people in the great and spacious building actually had something worthwhile to offer then they would be inviting and not mocking. Or enjoying the experience, not staring out the window at those outside. I try to remember that when something in the world seems appealing. Why would I want to drink, for instance? What would that actually do FOR me? (I can name a lot of negative things that I have seen from personal experience of extended family that do drink.) Why would I want to wear immodest clothing or break the Sabbath day or whatever the commandment is? What would that actually do for me? (The answer is really always nothing if I can stop and see things clearly. But that is the issue...Can I discern the emptiness?)
We discussed CFM and what a blessing it has been. It's so great to be in Sunday School and have discussions...Sharon taught Sunday School several years ago and few if any class members had read the lesson. Now people are reading the scriptures and are prepared to discuss it. (Not making the assumption that people weren't reading scripture before...but I know that I have always struggled to find the balance between reading the Book of Mormon and the other books of scripture.) It's so great to have so many resources to help us understand the scriptures and to help us apply it and to keep it in the forefront of our minds.
Sharon had an insight last week from the Holy Ghost that really stood out to her. In the law of Moses, those who didn't keep the Sabbath Day holy were put to death. Today ... if we don't keep the Sabbath Day, we are cut off from the Savior and Heavenly Father which is a type of death, spiritual death.
We talked a bit again about the sifting that is happening. And the importance of following the prophet. I feel like CFM has been one of those examples of how following the prophet has given us safety and protection. I'm sure this isn't a blanket statement that can be made for everyone...but what I have seen is that in several instances people who weren't reading the scriptures and trying to implement Come Follow Me have struggled to remain active in the church during and after the pandemic. But CFM has been a source of safety and help throughout the pandemic for those who are striving to read and follow it.
How can we help those who are struggling with faith?
*Love them.
*Pray for them. Pray that they can come to a knowledge of the truth. Pray that someone can come into their life that will have a positive influence.
*We talked about being champions of truth. I read an article about a month ago that I can't stop thinking about. It was written by an inclusion advisor at BYU. He has noticed that many LGBTQ saints at BYU have come to him and will tell him that they deeply desire to live the gospel and keep their covenants. But they receive lots of comments from other BYU students as well as members of the church asking if they are sure that's what they really want or telling them it's okay to make a different choice or telling them that they must be homophobic and self-loathing. Those who choose to leave or who are "on the fence" often feel more accepted in at least some parts of our faith community than those who experience same sex attraction but desire to be faithful, covenant keeping members. And it leads many to feel like there is NO place for them in any community. We should love others who disagree with us, but in my opinion (and the opinion of the author of the article who is openly gay and a faithful Latter-day Saint) we should be champions of truth and should be advocates and supporters of those who want to live the gospel, regardless of their background, past mistakes, sexual orientation, race, culture, or any other factor. I think we need to be really careful how we articulate our faith and how we articulate our social and cultural opinions so that we don't make others feel unnecessarily excluded. (That being said, I rarely feel like I am able to articulate clearly what I think and feel in a way that truly communicates what is in my mind and heart and I would guess/hope that most people are doing the best they can and are trying to be loving. I don't think most people are intentionally trying to alienate those who see differently than them. But it is something I have been thinking about so much.)
For months I have been wrestling with the balance of teaching truth, discerning truth, and loving those who reject truth. I feel like I have more questions than answers and what feels right to me often seems different than the balance that seems right to others. I want to have the gift of discernment. I want to build and nurture faith in those around me and be a champion of truth.
Jackie shared the talk, "Mothers Who Know" with Sara and me today. It's a good one. Thank you to each of you for being "Mothers Who Know"... women who know. You are such sources of strength to me!
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