Friendship with Jesus Talk

 I spoke in sacrament meeting today.  It was my first stake speaking assignment, and it was fun that it was in my home ward.  Here's my talk: 

Aristotle once said, ““Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit.” In March of 2018, a professor at the University of Kansas published research about friendship. What he found was that friendship takes time. It takes about 40- 60 hours to form a casual friendship, 80-100 hours to transition to being a friend and more than 200 hours together to become good friends. He found that it requires you to spend time talking with that person and interacting together, and that it takes effort to form that friendship and to continue to nurture it. 

 

In John 15, the Savior said, “Ye are my friends...Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth; but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.” 

I was asked to speak about “what I have personally done this year to strengthen my relationship with the Savior?  How has that helped me in my life?  How do I make time for the Savior in this busy world?” And so I am going to share some of the things I have done and I am doing to strengthen my relationship...but I want to start out by stating that I consider the Savior my friend, and that while I am going to be sharing some things I have DONE...this isn’t meant to be a checklist...these are the things that have helped me strengthen MY friendship and love for the Savior. Just like I might choose to spend time discussing books with a friend or might go out for ice cream, you might spend your time playing soccer or video games to develop a friendship. The things I am doing are IDEAS, but your relationship with the Savior is your own and how you approach it may vary in some ways. The important thing is to TAKE THE TIME needed to develop that relationship. We all have 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and we all have many necessary and important responsibilities that fill much of our time. But we also all have discretionary time, and how we fill that time may make all the difference in our relationships with the people around us and with the Savior. PLEASE take time to nurture your friendship with the Savior. 

 

The first thing I thought when I heard my topic was that it was exactly what I wanted to talk about. For the past 4 years, I have chosen a word or phrase to be my focus for that year. Something I study and try to live more fully. This year, I felt like the word I should select was “disciple”. I read the words in 2 Nephi 25:26 often: “26 And we atalk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we bprophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our cchildren may know to what source they may look for a dremission of their sins.” I think of Elder Neil L. Andersen’s words from October 2020 conference: “You and I speak of Jesus Christ, but maybe we can do a little better. If the world is going to speak less of Him, who is going to speak more of Him? We are! Along with other devoted Christians!” I am trying to speak more of Christ...in my social media, in my daily conversations, and especially in my home. I am trying to do a little better at being a disciple of Christ and living as He did. I am trying to follow Elder Hales’ counsel that “Disciples live so that the characteristics of Christ are woven into the fiber of their beings, as into a spiritual tapestry.” Just like we often develop some of the interests or character traits of our friends, I am striving to develop the character traits of my friend, Jesus Christ. 

 

So what am I doing to strengthen my relationship with Christ? How am I spending time with Him? Unlike my husband or children, He isn’t physically present in my home. Unlike my friends, I can’t call Him or go to lunch with Him to spend those 200 hours developing a close friendship. But I can do things to get to know Him. I’m making a concerted effort to study the Old Testament/Come Follow Me this year. And one of the things I am striving to do as I study the Old Testament is to see Him in the Old Testament. To learn more about His character and see His works and His hand. And also to see types of Christ who I can use as examples as well.  

 

For example, last week we studied 1 Samuel and while it wasn’t one of the assigned chapters, I read chapter 25 and loved the story of Abigail. Abigail’s husband, Nabal, refuses to show hospitality to David’s servants. He sends them away. A servant tells Abigail about the goodness of David’s people and the rebuff by Nabal. Abigail immediately takes food and drink and falls to the ground before David. She offers to take upon her Nabal’s evil. In 1 Samuel 25: 24-2[She} fell at his feet, and said, Upon me, my lord, upon me let this iniquity be: and let thine handmaid, I pray thee, speak in thine audience, and hear the words of thine handmaid. 

25 Let not my lord, I pray thee, regard this man of Belial, even aNabal: for as his name is, so is he; Nabal is his name, and folly is with him: but I thine handmaid saw not the young men of my lord, whom thou didst send.” She offers to take Nabal’s evil upon her and save Nabal from bloodshed. She acts as an intercessor in his behalf, just as Christ has done for us.  

 

Over and over, throughout the Old Testament, just as in other books of scripture, I have seen the Savior’s love and mercy and justice and goodness and patience and everlasting kindness. He is our perfect role model, and I am trying to exercise faith and trust in Him. 

 

Another thing I have done this year is that as a family we study one name of Christ each week. I bought many 5 x 7 pictures of Christ and typed up 52 5x7 pages of names of Christ along with a verse of scripture. Each week we talk about that name and have the name and the picture of Christ displayed in our living room. I hope it is a regular reminder to each of us to think of Him. And I hope that studying many of His names is helping us to see many of the ways that He works in our life. When we read of Him being the Light of the World, I hope it helps us remember that we can turn to Him when the world seems dark. When our name for the week is “Jehovah Shalom” I hope we remember that despite the chaos of this world, we can find peace in Christ. When our name for the week is God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, I hope our minds turn to all the covenant promises that they received and that WE have received as part of the house of Israel. I hope we remember all that God did for them and all that He is doing for us. On hard days, sometimes I just sit for a few minutes and look at that week’s picture of Jesus and reflect on how He is helping me or on how I need Him to help me that week. It gives me courage and strength to know that I don’t have to face my challenges alone.  

 

One of the best things I have done this year to draw closer to Christ was to spend the two months leading up to Easter working to memorize The Living Christ document. Shawna Edwards created songs for each section of the document and I would listen to those songs over and over and repeat the words of the Living Christ document in my mind as I drove, as I walked my students to lunch, as I cooked dinner or as I waited to pick my kids up after activities. Those two months were filled with a lot of turmoil in the world, and yet I felt a peace that “surpasseth understanding”...a peace that only Christ can bring. 

 

Another thing I am doing is trying to follow the counsel given to us by President Nelson in April conference. He asked us to do 5 things: Get on the covenant path and stay there, discover the joy of daily repentance, learn about God and how He works, seek and expect miracles, and end conflict in our personal lives. I am not doing these things perfectly, but I am trying to do each of these things. I especially find joy in being on the covenant path. I try to spend time in the temple regularly and it brings me peace and increased hope and strength. It reminds me who I am and that I don’t have to make it through my challenges alone. And I am also discovering the joy of daily repentance. It is such a blessing to be able to change and grow. To start anew each day. In April conference, Elder Kevin Hamilton said, “Brothers and sisters, our divine destiny and purpose is ultimately to become like our Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ. We do this as we change, or repent. We receive the Savior’s “image in our countenances.” We become new, clean, different and we simply continue to work at it every day. Sometimes it may feel like two steps forward and one step back, but we continue to humbly move forward in faith.” And in April conference, Elder Cook said, “Conversion to the Savior changes a natural man into a sanctified, born again, purified person—a new creature in Jesus Christ.” I LOVE this knowledge because I make lots of mistakes. I am sometimes impatient or stubborn or grumpy. I get discouraged and feel afraid. I sometimes say things that I don’t mean and I’m not as good at ending conflict as I want to be. So I am so grateful that repentance can allow me to change. 

One final thing I want to mention. While I try to love everyone in my very imperfect way, I try to surround myself with others who are friends with Jesus. I find that the people I spend time with influence my patterns of thought and behavior. If I want to be like Jesus, and I want to strengthen my friendship with Him, then I want to spend time with others that have similar goals. I want to spend time with people that help me to be my best self and who help me to learn more of Him, listen to His words and walk in the meekness of His Spirit. This means choosing carefully how I spend my time on social media as well as choosing who I spend time socializing with. 

 

What have been the blessings of strengthening my friendship with Christ? I have mentioned several already. Greater peace. Greater joy. Guidance from the Holy Ghost. Greater strength to do what is right. Knowing that I am never alone. The ability to better discern what is right and what is wrong, what is truth and what is error (which I think is SUCH a critical skill in the days in which we live!). Having help when I face situations that I don’t know how to handle. Having others near me that also believe in Christ and strengthen me when I am weak. Becoming better. Learning more. Having the greatest friend there ever could be...for John tells us “Greater alove hath no man than this, that a man lay down his blife for his cfriends.” I pray this never happens, but if I had to choose only one friend to develop a relationship with, Christ would be the best friend I could choose. No one loves me –or loves you—like He does. Please, please invest the needed time to develop a relationship with Him!