Fear Not: Believe Only!

  Last night was our monthly discussion of a conference talk.  So most of last night we ended up just talking...about health, families, etc.  We didn't spend a lot of time discussing the conference talk, though I thoroughly enjoyed the conversation.  And I didn't take very good notes so this is all written kind of first person, but I'm trying to capture many of the thoughts that were shared by those who were here...I just don't remember clearly who said what.  

But here are some of the things we did discuss.

We talked a little about having the faith and trust to follow our leaders.  (I liked how Elder Holland said, "The leaders of this Church are giving their lives to seeking the Lord's guidance in the resolution of these challenges.  If some are not resolved to the satisfaction of everyone, perhaps they constitute part of the cross Jesus said we would have to take up in order to follow Him.")

We talked a lot about the youth.  I believe what President Nelson said...that this generation of youth has the capacity to have "more impact (for good) on the world than any previous generation."  But it seems like many of them are currently living far beneath their privileges, their abilities when it comes to being this kind of example and force for good.  (I hope that doesn't sound unkind or harsh.  I LOVE the youth and I think they are incredible, but I am so sad about how many seem to be struggling right now.  So many are unsure of who they are or what is most important.  So many are participating very little in the church and making choices that are worrisome.)  What can we do?

None of us have all the answers, but some of the things we discussed:

*Help them develop a stronger personal faith and testimony.  An internal testimony.

*Help them see the value in following the leaders.  

*Help them get on and stay on the covenant path.  Help them see why that is important.

*Remind them that there is repentance.  We can change and grow and keep turning back to God, over and over and over again.  It's NOT too late for them or for us.  

*Teach them the dangers of the buffet approach to obedience...picking and choosing what to listen to and what to ignore.

*Use the resources we have been provided...CFM, family home evening, FSY camps, conference talks, etc.

What are you doing to help your youth have an impact for good?  What's working?  

*I personally don't feel like I have many answers right now.  But one thing that does seem to be helping lately is that every Monday we study a conference talk together.  Sometimes we read it out loud, taking turns.  Sometimes we read it silently and then share what we liked or learned or what stood out.  We also read the scriptures for CFM most days, but somehow the conference talks seem to get my kids talking more and more engaged.  

*I am REALLY hoping that FSY, Girls Camp, Oakcrest and such activities will have a positive influence this summer.  

I'd love to hear what you are doing that you think is working or that you hope has an impact eventually.

We talked a bit about worry and sadness over children or grandchildren or others who are not participating in the church.  I shared these quotes on Sunday in my Sunday School lesson but think they may bring comfort when worrying about those in our families who aren't currently choosing to participate.

Elder Holland in a talk called "A Prayer for the Children":  "Even then we know that some children will make choices that break their parents’ hearts. Moms and dads can do everything right and yet have children who stray. Moral agency still obtains. But even in such painful hours it will be comforting for you to know that your children knew of your abiding faith in Christ, in His true Church, in the keys of the priesthood and in those who hold them. It will be comforting then for you to know that if your children choose to leave the straight and narrow way, they leave it very conscious that their parents were firmly in it. Furthermore, they will be much more likely to return to that path when they come to themselves¹⁰ and recall the loving example and gentle teachings you offered them there.

Live the gospel as conspicuously as you can. Keep the covenants your children know you have made. Give priesthood blessings. And bear your testimony!"

  In 1929 Elder Orson F. Whitney of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said: “You parents of the wilful and the wayward! Don’t give them up. Don’t cast them off. They are not utterly lost. The Shepherd will find his sheep. They were his before they were yours—long before he entrusted them to your care; and you cannot begin to love them as he loves them. They have but strayed in ignorance from the Path of Right, and God is merciful to ignorance. Only the fulness of knowledge brings the fulness of accountability. Our Heavenly Father is far more merciful, infinitely more charitable, than even the best of his servants, and the Everlasting Gospel is mightier in power to save than our narrow finite minds can comprehend” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1929, 110).

President Joseph F. Smith offered this advice: “Fathers, if you wish your children to be taught in the principles of the gospel, if you wish them to love the truth and understand it, if you wish them to be obedient to and united with you, love them! … However wayward they might be, … when you speak or talk to them, do it not in anger, do it not harshly, in a condemning spirit. Speak to them kindly. … You can’t drive them; they won’t be driven.”

God has a plan of salvation and He is good at saving His children.  "For behold, my work and my glory is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man."  Virtually every child of God that came to Earth will receive salvation and far more will receive exaltation than we probably recognize.  There's hope.  Those who are making poor choices right now can change.  

We talked about mental health and possibly some of the causes of so many people struggling with mental health.  It's likely that there are MANY causes but likely some may be based on our nutrition, lack of exercise, our dependence on electronics, our isolation during the pandemic, and just increasing isolation in general.  It seems more common today for people to take care of their families and "not worry about" others.  (To be clear...none of us are advocating for not caring for your family...just that we all need more people than just our families...we need to be part of a community and develop multiple caring relationships...the words of Lucy Mack Smith come to me:  

“We must cherish one another, watch over one another, comfort one another, and gain instruction that we may all sit down in heaven together.”  Or Sister Marjorie Hinckley's words:  "“Oh, how we need each other. Those of us who are old need you who are young. And, hopefully, you who are young need some of us who are old. It is a sociological fact that women need women. We need deep and satisfying and loyal friendships with each other.”

It seems that even just a few years ago, women were more likely to participate in Relief Society activities and families were more likely to participate in ward activities and youth were more likely to attend youth activities.  We're all busy--that's a reality and we are mostly busy doing good things--but maybe sometimes we need to look at our schedules and assess whether we are busy doing things that nurture faith, develop a sense of community, increase unity and love in our ward and stake.  Maybe we need to set down our phones a little more and talk face to face or on the phone where we can see emotions and not misinterpret meaning.  We need to maybe find some ways to build greater connections with our ward members and neighbors.  (I may have mentioned this to some of you...though I didn't think about it last night, but months ago I read a book called The Art of Neighboring.  It was all about the command given by Jesus to love our neighbors and that this really should be something we as Christians do a better job of taking seriously...and actually love the people on our street and get to know them.  It had lots of practical advice and I frankly have a lot of room for improvement.  But one of the things that I thought was so interesting was that it was written by a couple of people who actually put this into practice and they shared the difference it was making in their own lives and their community.  That's one of my goals for this summer...find ways to get to know my neighbors better and to strengthen our community. I truly believe that can have BIG payoffs for everyone.)

It's so easy when we take a short time off from church (because we're ill or out of town or working or whatever) to find that it becomes easier to not go, easier to justify poor decisions.  It's no wonder that we are told so many times in the scriptures to "remember".  When we get out of the habit of going to church or reading our scriptures or attending the temple, it can feel really hard to begin those things again and our feelings and beliefs can change quickly.  The world is loud and in our face all the time and it doesn't take long for it to influence us.

We talked about that ...just like the youth...our potential to make a difference is greater now than ever before.  The differences between us and the world are widening.  It used to be that our beliefs weren't that different from many people around us but in many ways that is no longer the case.  This is both good and bad.  It's bad because it is hard.  It is unpopular to believe as we do and sometimes the world thinks we are bad because of our beliefs...the world calls evil good and good evil.  And so it takes a lot of strength and faith and courage to continue to be faithful in the midst of that widening gap.

But it is good because we are/can be "distinct and different in happy ways" (as President Kimball prophesied) from the world and others can see our light and our goodness and our difference and are often drawn to it.  We have the potential to stand out and to help others so much.  I remember in a podcast I listened to, they talked about how we can't lift others to higher ground if we aren't standing on higher ground ourselves.  So as we are faithful and remain true to our covenants, we have the potential to really do a lot of good...to help gather Israel on both sides of the veil, to bring others to Christ, to build unity and love and connection.  

We talked about the role of the Church in building connection, giving us opportunities to serve which is such a blessing if we'll accept that opportunity and magnify our callings, caring for one another, teaching one another, and bringing us all closer to Christ. "He has also given you a church that strengthens families for mortality and binds them together for eternity. It provides more than 31,000 wards and branches where people gather and sing and fast and pray for each other and give of their means to the poor. This is where every person is named, accounted for, and ministered to and where lay friends and neighbors voluntarily serve each other in callings that range from clerical work to custodial duty."

We didn't discuss this, but if I had to choose a favorite part of the talk it would be this quote:  "Yes, we might sometimes want to run away from where we are, but we certainly should never run away from who we are—children of the living God who loves us, who is always ready to forgive us, and who will never, ever forsake us. You are His most precious possession. You are His child, to whom He has given prophets and promises, spiritual gifts and revelations, miracles and messages, and angels on both sides of the veil.¹⁰"

 I also LOVE this quote from Elder Holland:  "

Of course, in our present day, tremendously difficult issues face any disciple of Jesus Christ. The leaders of this Church are giving their lives to seeking the Lord’s guidance in the resolution of these challenges. If some are not resolved to the satisfaction of everyone, perhaps they constitute part of the cross Jesus said we would have to take up in order to follow Him.¹² It is precisely because there would be dark days and difficult issues that God promised He would, out of a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night, guide prophets, give an iron rod, open a narrow gate leading to a strait path, and above all grant us the power to finish the course.¹³

So please, please, stay for the whole feast even if you are not sure about the broccoli. Bask in His light and lend your candle to the cause.¹⁴ They have it right in Primary: Jesus really does “[want you] for a sunbeam.”

**I find it a tiny bit funny because we really didn't talk about the talk for that long...but I can stretch any conversation into a boatload of notes.  If there was an Olympics for notetaking, I might be able to be a champion.  I love these ladies!