two things

I've been thinking...if I could just teach one lesson to my kids, what would it be? What is the most important thing I want them to learn from me... I couldn't narrow it down to one but came up with two things. (Just have to throw in a side note that if I could include 3 things the 3rd would be to LOVE to read and read often!:) That can't make it in my top two, but it's right up there...not surprising if you know me.)
So here's my things:
1- To love God and have a testimony of Jesus Christ and the gospel
2- To love others, including those who are different, who have different values, who are from different backgrounds, etc.

I want to talk about number 2 for a minute because it is something I feel like I am struggling with a bit.

On Sunday, we had a great Relief Society lesson about turning to the Lord and our teacher, Ione, asked each of us to write down one question or problem we are having that we would like an answer to. The timing on this seemed just perfect because there is a concern I've had that I was happy to get some (great) input on...and since my index card with my question was chosen, I got some great suggestions...and of course, I know I can get more help through prayer.

As I'm teaching my children the standards that I believe in, I find it difficult for them to separate behaviors that we don't agree with from people. For instance, we believe that smoking is not wise or good. We are asked to dress modestly and live a chaste life. I believe firmly in these things. However, I have close friends who are not of my faith that have different beliefs and values. I have heard my children say things like "That person smokes. He is bad." or "Look at that bad person with a tattoo." And a couple of times those comments have been made about people that I know and love...and even when made about strangers, the comments have made me uncomfortable. I want my children to love everyone regardless of whether the choices others make are choices that we agree with... I recognize that some of this is a reflection of their age and that things seem very black and white to them. But I know that many good people live differently than I choose to. I also see how easy it is to put people into groups and label them (by race, religion, income or education level, immigrant, native language, and so on)... and I'm sure that we are all guilty of that at some level. But I work with so many good people who are of different faiths, so many good people who come from different ethnic backgrounds, so many good people who are immigrants and so on...I love people and I want that to be something my children learn from me. I hope that this will be learned from my example and hope that I am showing them that I love others. I also try to explain to them that if someone acts or believes differently than us that doesn't make them bad.

I don't feel like I'm being as eloquent in expressing my thoughts about this as I would like... but I have been shaped a great deal both by books I have read and by the experiences I have had teaching. I just completed a very thought-provoking book called "Black Like Me" and in this true book a white man uses medicine and die to turn himself black and travel through the southern US in the late 1950's. He was very courageous...and he was treated horribly. In some cities, he went through the city twice...once as himself, a well-educated, intelligent white man and once as a (still) well-educated, intelligent but now black man. The difference in the way he was treated was disheartening, sickening, and so saddening. He was the same person, but with different colored skin. I think that things have improved since then, although I still don't think we are where we need to be. Now I feel that in many ways we treat hispanic immigrants in a similar way... definitely not as terribly as back then but still as if they are second class citizens/less than us as human beings. I don't know how we, in our minds and hearts, can justify this. At the time, Justice Bok said, "I am annoyed by those who love mankind but are cruel and discourteous to people." I really think that the main reason we are here is to learn to love one another, and I often reflect on how I'm doing in that regard.

And I am not where I need or want to be. I hope that my children see me showing love and respect to others. I know that they don't see me helping others as often as I would like...I have a few neighbors that are so amazing and that I constantly see helping others, lending a helping hand where it is needed, and being so kind and friendly to others. I am not trying to make excuses but I am a little on the shy side and also work a lot and don't feel that I take the time/have the opportunities to serve as much as I could. But I do feel like my job is a service. I mean, obviously I get paid... but I put in a lot more time, thought, and prayer into my teaching than I am paid for and I love those kids and their families. I hope that while it doesn't make up for the time I am away from my children, I hope that I am able to help my children see that I am serving others as I strive each day to educate these children who are our future but whose futures do not always seem as bright as my own childrens' because of the circumstances into which they were born. I am constantly doing a balancing act of trying to meet the needs of my family and the needs of my students and I fall short...but I hope that overall, I am teaching my children to love those who are different, to love those who make mistakes (we all do!), to love everyone. And I hope I am providing an education to my students that will provide them with hope for a better tomorrow. I hope that in my own small way, I am combating social injustice and making the world a little better.

I still don't feel like I expressed my thoughts quite how they are jumbled in my head, but I hope that at the very least my children will know that I love them and that I love others.