The Rainbow Book

I heard about this gorgeous book on Deep Space Sparkle.


Each page describes how the child feels on different days. "When I feel red, I am fiery and bold." Then it has beautiful cutouts so that each color of the rainbow shows through a bit on the first page and each page highlights one color and the corresponding emotions. Simply gorgeous.

So after reading it, I thought my children could do something similar. Essentially we created snowflakes in each rainbow color and then put them together to create a similar effect. They aren't quite as gorgeous, but still quite wonderful. We shared ideas for how you might feel on different days. I helped my 4 year old quite a bit.


We really should go back to them now and add our own sentences about feelings.

One Drop at a Time

I've written before about how I was touched and changed by Elder M. Russell Ballard's talk "Be Anxiously Engaged" given in October 2012 conference. I'm not sure I can really express in words how that talk became a catalyst for change in my life, but I am trying harder than I've ever tried to love and serve and be the kind of woman I am meant to be.

So I have been anxiously waiting for the chance to read "One Drop at a Time"... a short and beautiful book by Elder Ballard about service, based on his talk. It is beautiful and it has touched my heart again, just as much as the original talk.

I love this:

Imagine what good we can do in the world if we all join together, united as followers of Christ, anxiously and busily responding to the needs of others and serving those around us-our families, our friends, our neighbors, our fellow citizens. As the Epistle of James notes, service is the very definition of pure religion. "Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world."

He says that if each of us did small, daily acts of Christlike love we would have a transformative effect upon the world.

I love this imagery: "There is power in our love for God and for His children, and when that love is tangibly manifest in millions of acts of Christian kindness, it will sweeten and nourish the world with the life-sustaining nectar of faith, hope and charity."

The women of the world are seeking for power. Seeking to prove their worth as women, to prove that they are just as important, valuable, intelligent, and strong as men. But they, to a great degree, are seeking for that power and that proof in the wrong ways. I love my job. I feel like what I do is valuable and I feel it is a part of who I am meant to be on this Earth and what I am meant to accomplish. But it doesn't actually bring me as much JOY as I thought it would. But when I am cuddling with my 4 year old or watching my 8 year old read or helping my 10 year old practice the violin, I do feel joy. When I see them playing happily together and hear their giggles, I feel joy. When I've reached out and helped someone else... watched their children for them, taken them a meal, cried with them, listened to them, visited them, and/or prayed for them, I do feel JOY. Not just a little moment of happiness. But true joy. And I know that there is real POWER in these moments. Power to heal, to lift, to bless...and power that will last through the eternities, not for just a few short moments on the Earth.

I have such a long way to go. I am still trying to learn how to find balance between time with my family and time serving in my calling. I am still trying to increase my desire to serve and decrease my desire for worldly things. I am so far from where I want to end up, but I do feel that I'm on the right path.

I love this part too:

Reach out to one another with love, for "charity never faileth" (Moroni 7:46). Many of your sisters may be hurting for one reason or another. Reach out to those who suffer, listen to their concerns, be worthy of their trust, and always keep their confidences. Share their burdens. Teach them, both by precept and by example, about Heavenly Father's plan for His children....Teach them about the essential part adversity plays in our eternal lives. Take them by the hand and help them to repent, forgive, have faith, endure or do whatever is needed. Never forget that the Lord may work a miracle in their lives through you.

And one more quote...he says that just as bees one-twelfth of one teaspoon of honey adds up, that our combined efforts will have "a compounding effect of good that will bring the Light of Christ to this ever-darkening world." Can't you feel Light filling your life when you serve and bless others? I sure can. There is plenty of darkness and despair around us, but there is also so much that is good and pure and true and in the end, the Light will win. I want the Light of Christ in my life each day.

Gifted Music School: Music Camp

A couple of months ago, the Gifted Music School did a performance at my daughters' school. Michelle, in particular, was really impressed by the performance and she really wanted to sign up for the summer camp. So after looking into it, I signed her up. The camp is 2 hours a day, 5 days a week, for 2 weeks. Michelle has gone this week, and she has loved it. She is excited to go back next week. There are only 2 kids in her class (there are supposed to be 6, but so far only Michelle and a boy named Billy have come). There are 2 teachers. So talk about personal attention.

They have learned/reviewed music vocabulary, time signatures, how to conduct music (for 2/4 3/4 and 4/4 time signatures). They have learned to find the rhythm and the beat of a song, how to write the song down using notes, how to do solflege (do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, ti, do) including the hand motions, singing in solflege and recording the song using solflege. They've learned about tempo. They've learned about Vivaldi, Bach and Handel. They've listened to classical music and found its rhythm. They've sung folk songs. They've played musical games. I am so impressed with all that Michelle has learned in just 5 days. Some of it she has been taught or introduced to before through piano, violin or music instruction at school. But I think she's grasping it better than she has before...the combination of the camp, her violin instruction and piano practice are wonderful! Her teachers at camp are wonderful (as are her violin and piano teachers) and getting 2 hours of intense teaching each day has been awesome. Ella has been listening in and learning quite a bit as well. Michelle has already said that she wants to do this again next summer. I think next summer we'll enroll both Michelle and Ella.

Since I'm sitting there, I've also learned a lot about music that I didn't know. Such a great experience!

Revelation

As I mentioned, I listened to Hearing the Voice of the Lord by Gerald Lund. I learned some great things from this book.

He shared an experience of a time when his daughter said that she didn't think she had a testimony. He was surprised and confused, because he knew she regularly studied the scriptures on her own as well as with the family, she willingly provided service to others and so on. As he talked with her, she expressed that she didn't know if she'd ever felt the spirit...she certainly hadn't had miraculous events like Alma the Younger or King Lamoni or others in the scriptures. He explained that most of us don't see angels or have grand events. Some of us do, and those are valid and important forms of revelation. But most of us have quieter forms of revelation and inspiration.

He shared something along with that which I've reflected on a lot and shared with my kids. He talked about being in a dark room and turning on a flashlight. The flashlight is very noticeable... you can really see that a light has suddenly come on and is illuminating the room or a portion of the room. Now imagine you are in a room filled with light...the windows are open, the overhead lights are on. You turn on that same flashlight. It isn't going to have as big of an impact, because there is already light. He said that in a way this can be compared to the spirit. When we grow up in righteous, active homes, the spirit is in our lives often. We may feel the spirit so often that we may not even always recognize it...we sort of take it for granted just as we would the flashlight in a lighted room. But for those who grow up in harder homes or where they haven't heard the gospel before, the spirit may be such a new experience that it may feel more like turning on that flashlight in a dark room...much more noticeable because it has been missing in their lives before.

I don't feel like I've explained that as well as he did, but the point is that as members, we may not always realize the times when the spirit is guiding us, protecting us, inspiring us because we are blessed to have the Holy Ghost as our constant companion if we live righteously. So we may rarely if ever experience huge miraculous seeming experiences. But that doesn't mean we haven't felt the spirit or don't have a testimony. He even said that the way we choose to live our lives is often proof of our testimony...if we are choosing to read the scriptures or pray or go to church or serve without being told to or someone making us, then that is proof that we do have at least the beginnings of a testimony.

Another thing that really stuck out to me that is really pretty obvious, but also very important is that God determines all aspects of personal revelation. That means He decides how, when and what type of revelation we receive. We don't decide if he's going to answer us right now or next week or next month; He decides. We don't decide if we will hear a voice in our minds, feel a burning in our bosoms, see an angel, have a dream, or see a vision; He does. Personal revelation is tied closely to righteous living; however, it doesn't mean that we are doing something wrong if we aren't having spectacular spiritual experiences. Most revelation comes in less direct, less spectacular (but still important and valid) ways.

Another thing that helped me was to hear that we need to develop spiritual self-reliance. We should ask the Lord for guidance in things that matter; but there are plenty of things we do not need to pray about...for example what outfit to wear or what brand of cereal to buy ...these things don't matter and we can and should make up our own minds. But when it comes time to make important decisions, the Lord will not allow us to take many steps in the wrong direction without giving us a warning. Sometimes He won't answer right away...perhaps because we haven't studied the issue in our mind and reached a conclusion about what is right or perhaps because he wants us to begin to act on what we think is right and then he'll let us know if we are doing the right thing. He shared an experience of a young woman who was trying to decide whether to get married or go on a mission. She didn't seem to have a strong feeling either way, so she decided to serve a mission. She entered the MTC feeling unsure if she'd made the right choice. While she was there, she kept praying to know for sure if this is what she should do. Finally, when she got on the airplane headed to her mission, the spirit confirmed to her that she'd made the right choice. But she had to take several steps before she knew for sure that she was doing the right thing. Conversely, sometimes we may begin to take steps toward soemthing and then have the spirit warn us that it is not the right decision to make.

I am so grateful for the power of personal revelation. I am grateful for the opportunities I have had to serve and help others in small ways as I have listened to the promptings of the spirit. I'm grateful for the times that the Holy Ghost has comforted me and spoken peace to my mind. I'm grateful for the guidance I have received as a mother, a wife, a neighbor, a friend, and a Relief Society President. We are so blessed to have the Holy Ghost as our constant companion.

And The Mountains Echoed... Nightime traditions

I'm just about to finish And the Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini. It is beautifully written. It doesn't seem quite so painful or tragic as I remember his other books being. Don't misunderstand...some terrible things do happen. But somehow it still feels less painful and tragic...which I appreciate. He is quite a storyteller.

Anyway, as I was reading today, I was touched by something one of the characters does. The child has a nightly ritual with her father. He comes in to tuck her into bed. He then plucks bad dreams from her head with his thumb and forefinger.

"His fingers would hop from my forehead to my temples, patiently searching behind my ears, at the back of my head, and he'd make a pop sound-like a bottle being uncorked-with each nightmare he purged from my brain. He stashed the dreams, one by one, into an invisible sack in his lap and pulled the drawstring tightly. He would then scour the air, looking for happy dreams to replace the ones he had sequestered away. I watched as he cocked his head slightly and frowned, his eyes roaming side to side, like he was straining to hear distant music. I held my breath, waiting for the moment when my father's face unfurled into a smile, when he sang, Ah, here is one, when he cupped his hands, let the dream land in his palms like a petal slowly twirling down from a tree. Gently, then, so very gently-my father said all good things in life were were fragile and easily lost-he would raise his hands to my face, rub his palms against my brow and happiness into my head." (page 345-346)

I love this imagery and this tradition. I'd like to start it with my children. I especially like that it helped the child feel safe and loved. Since conference, I've thought a lot about making our home a haven, a place of safety. This seems like a concrete step that I could take to help create that.

Reading this got me thinking about traditions. I'm not sure why, but I often have tradition envy. I don't usually envy people's clothes or shoes or homes or cars or anything (except sometimes their hair...my hair is my least favorite thing about my body!) But I envy others' traditions. It seems like so many people have so many fun traditions that I sometimes wish we had more, especially involving our extended family. When I stop to think about it and try to put things in perspective, we do have some fun traditions. In particular, we have some traditions centering around birthdays and Christmas that I love. And I love spending time with my children right before bed. We usually read a story, read scriptures, say prayers and hug and kiss good night. I even spend a few more minutes with my youngest alone reading at least one more story and holding her and telling her I love her. But I love the idea of adding this idea of plucking away bad dreams and giving them good dreams. I love the idea of "rubbing happiness into their heads." As much as I value traditions, I know that for the most part if they aren't fairly simple, they aren't going to happen or at least be maintained. I also know that it is important for me to try harder to be "content with the things allotted to me." Either I need to figure out a few more traditions to add to our family life and then add them, or I need to quit comparing our traditions to others and feeling like we come out short. My children have a (mostly) happy and very blessed childhood and we have much to be thankful for. I need to quit envying others' traditions. (But if you have a favorite tradition you'd like to share, I'd love to hear what they are!)

Arlo Art Project

Thanks to Deep Space Sparkle, I found the cutest book ever. And not only that, but we were able to do a great art lesson along with the book.

Arlo is this darling dog that loves to play catch. But one day he can't catch anymore... because he can't see. His owner takes him to the doctor, and he gets glasses. This is an interactive book and includes showing what the eye chart looks like to the owner (clear) and what it looks like to Arlo (blurry!) and a ball that gets "thrown" back and forth. But the favorite part of this book is that Arlo gets to try on several pairs of glasses (which are included in the book) until he finds the right pair for him! My kids, especially my year old, have loved reading this book and trying the glasses on themselves and on Arlo.


So, after reading the book (at least 8 times or more to my 4 year old), we completed the art project. For step by step instructions, visit Deep Space Sparkle. I helped my 4 year old draw the outline of the dog, but she did the rest. They loved coloring their own glasses.

Look how cute they turned out.

Gabby's (4 years old)

Michelle's (10 years old)

mine

Ella's (8 years old)

Pleased but not satisfied

I've been listening to Gerald Lund's book, Hearing the Voice of the Lord, on CD. It has been wonderful. I've learned a lot. As I was listening on Saturday, I was really struck by something that Lund says. He says that the Lord is easily pleased but not easily satisfied. Then he explained by comparing this to us as parents. When our child takes her first steps, we are so pleased. We are excited to see their growth and development. However, we aren't satisfied with just a few steps. We want them to learn to walk, run, skip, climb and so on. Or, as I've been thinking. Gabby now knows her alphabet. She recognizes the letters and can write most of them. I am very pleased. But I'm not satisfied. I want her to learn to read. Ella and Michelle are good readers in English and Spanish, but still I'm not satisfied. I want their vocabulary to increase, the level of the books they read to increase, the knowledge they gain from reading to grow in both languages. I am so pleased with where they are right now, but I am not satisfied.

So, too, our Heavenly Father is pleased, so very pleased when we make good choices. He is pleased when we reach out to rescue or when we study the scriptures or when we repent. For every step we take further along the path toward eternal life, He is so pleased. However, He isn't satisfied with where we are. We must continue to progress. He doesn't want me to finish my life as I am now. He wants my thoughts to turn increasingly to Him. He wants my heart to turn to others in love and compassion. He wants me to continue taking steps along the path toward exaltation.

Sometimes it is easy to get discouraged because we see where He wants us to end up and where we want to end up. And we recognize that the road is long and that we still have many steps ahead of us. But we shouldn't get discouraged. As long as we are on the path and continue taking steps forward, then He is pleased with us. And there is no one I would rather please than Him.

Proof that they are growing up

Saturday was Alfredo's company Lagoon Day. Alfredo took the girls by himself at 10 that morning (since I had my grandma's funeral) and I joined them about 2:30 PM. A couple of years ago, the idea of taking all 3 girls by himself would not have appealed to him at all. But they are getting bigger and can go on many more rides now. Ella, in particular, has not only grown taller but braver. She rode the Wild Mouse Ride for the first time. She rode the white roller coaster and several other rides that she either couldn't ride before or wouldn't ride before.

Once I arrived, we spent a couple of hours in Lagoon-A-Beach. It was fun, particularly because so many friends were there with us. So the kids had friends to go down the slides with them or to splash in the kids area with. We adults had a chance to visit with one another as we supervised our children.

After Lagoon-A-Beach, Michelle and Alfredo went off with friends to ride the bigger rides and Ella, Gabby and I stayed together. So I actually didn't get many pictures of Michelle.

Even though Ella looks scared in this photo, she rode this ride The Bombara 3 more times!

Ella rode several rides with her friend Oaklie while Gabby rode some of the smaller rides. Then they rode several more rides together. Gabby loved the swings this year and we rode that a couple of times together.

By the time we left at 9 PM, we were all starving and tired! But it was such fun!

Grandma

I've shared some memories of my grandma already. My sister also shared somebeautiful memories of her.

Her funeral was held on Saturday. It was wonderful to have the chance to see aunts and uncles and cousins and other extended family that I don't see often.

My uncle Tom gave a talk about the plan of salvation and that we will be reunited after this life. My aunt Jane then shared some memories of my grandma.

My grandma was a wonderful woman. She wasn't perfect. She had strong opinions and wasn't afraid to express them. She had a strong testimony of the gospel, and she worried about her children and grandchildren and became frustrated and concerned when any of her family members made choices that weren't in harmony with the gospel...and she let them know that she was disappointed. She considered being a wife, mother and grandmother her most important responsibility. She dedicated her life to her family.

My aunt Jane shared that when my grandma was young, she helped with her grandparents' farm. Sometimes ducks would lay eggs and the mother duck would be killed or something. So they'd give the duck eggs to a hen to hatch. The hen would protect the eggs and set on it until it hatched. Then there would be a few chicks and a few ducks. The chicks would soon start pecking around the yard, but the little ducklings would soon head toward the pond. The poor mother hen would try to herd the ducklings back away from the pond because chicks don't swim. But the ducklings were ducks, and they were meant to swim...so head to the pond, they did. The hen would be frantic with worry. My grandma told my aunt that as her children grew, she often felt like that mother hen...she wanted her children to be chicks and they were actually ducklings and were determined to act like ducks. I can relate to this a little bit...my own children are amazing and wonderful but their personalities, interests and strengths are unique to them. Sometimes it is hard to accept that they might struggle with things that I find easy or that they might be really good at things that I find hard. It is certainly humbling (and sometimes worrisome).

My grandma believed strongly in food storage although she wasn't great at using her food storage.

My grandma was intelligent and articulate. My aunt Julia shared that because she grew up with my grandma she was accustomed to using big words and speaking clearly. That gave her some advantages when it came time to apply for college (she scored high on the language parts of the ACT/SAT) but sometimes others would ask her to stop using such big words.

She loved to eat at Sizzler.

She had her house decorated in a Southwestern style...tan leather sofas with wall hangings that pictured desert landscapes in oranges, reds, and browns. She had a beautiful stained glass door of a sunset as her front door at her house. In the hallway, she had framed photos of her children. Each of her children also had a section of wall in the hallway or one of the bedrooms with framed photos of their families. I spent as much or more time in her home as a child than in my own home. I can clearly picture in my mind her living room, her kitchen, the front yard and back yard and each bedroom. The house was sold 7 or 8 years ago, but it is clear in my mind.

Before going into labor with Michelle, I read that visualizing can be calming. I tried it...trying to picture a beautiful waterfall. But it really didn't work. I couldn't picture it clearly enough to hold onto it when the contractions were hard. When I was in labor with Ella and Gabby, I'd picture my grandma's living room and me snuggled next to my grandpa as he read me a story or sitting and playing quietly on the floor while all the grown ups talked politics or history or other subjects around me. That image was so clear and so comforting that it really helped. It is a big part of what gave me the ability to give birth to Ella and Gabby naturally with no pain medication.

This past Sunday, I showed photos of my grandma and grandpa and my dad, aunts, and uncles to my children. We watched a Mormon Message about family history and read Malachi 4:5-6. Then I shared some stories of my grandma's life. I found a talk she'd given in sacrament meeting in 1991, and she'd given me a copy. The talk was on family traditions. One of the traditions she wrote about was meeting at Saguaro Ranch Park (in Phoenix) for a big luncheon on Christmas Eve or a few days before Christmas. We'd have a big potluck dinner and each child would get a gift from one of the cousins (we drew names.) Then the adults participated in a very lively white elephant gift exchange. I remember wishing that I could grow up and be one of the adults because it seemed like they had a lot more fun with their gift exchange than we did. :) I honestly hadn't thought about this for a long time, but suddenly I remembered so many fun times at that park with my family.

She loved my grandpa. They were so loyal to one another. They didn't agree on everything. My grandpa sometimes drove her crazy because he wore socks that didn't match his pants/shoes or his hair never seemed to be combed like she liked it. She worried that he didn't eat the proper foods with his diabetes. He was so calm and gentle and she was a worrier and her natural inclination was to fight (as in argue) when others angered her. Yet I remember around the time I was getting married or maybe a couple of years before that I said something like, "Well, I know that marriage is hard. I know that it takes a lot of work, and there will be hard times but I'm willing to work at it." Her response was something like, "It has never been hard to be married to your grandpa. It has always been wonderful." And while I know that they didn't always agree on everything, I really believe she meant that. Their marriage was wonderful and they loved each other very much. I'm so grateful that they are together again.

My grandma was a storyteller. She told so many stories about her childhood, her parents, her aunts and uncles. She wanted her children and grandchildren to know about their ancestors. She often got out photos of ancestors or distant relatives and showed us the photos and told us stories. I admit that I didn't always appreciate this about her. But I do now. I wish I had written more of those stories down and could remember more of them. I'm grateful for the copies of photos that I inherited from her and the love I have for some of my ancestors that I gained from her stories.

My grandma and grandpa, about 1946
My grandma at about age 3
More photos of my grandma

My grandma wasn't perfect, but she did the best she knew how. She was the perfect grandma for me and her impact on my life is/was/always will be tremendous. Much of who I am today is due to the tutoring I received from her. Oh, how I love her!

Dinner and dancing...and how we're spending our days

We had three friends have a 3 day sleepover at our house while their parents took an anniversary trip. The girls were so excited to have their friends stay with us. They played, talked, laughed and had a great time. They probably didn't get enough sleep, but they got along well and had fun. Since school was over for us and it was the last two days for the neighborhood kids, we had neighbor friends over to play as well. One night as I was serving dinner, we had 9 children here. That seemed like a lot compared to our normal three.


Gabby loves to sing and dance. She is kind of shy about it though and usually won't sing or dance if we are watching (or if anyone is watching...) So when she grabbed the microphone and began singing her own made up song, and she let me take a few pictures, I snapped away at her. I even managed to get a couple minutes of video of her singing. Such a cutie patootie.


I am trying this summer to capture some of the small moments that make up our days and our lives. It is in these small moments, I realize, that our character is shaped, that our love is cemented, that our personalities shine and that make up the majority of our lives.

Yesterday, I sat and played with blocks with Gabby. Then we played "football". We had a mini football that we had Barbie and Ken kick back and forth. Today we went to the library, checked out a stack of books and signed up for the summer reading program. We've been spending a few minutes each day doing "homeschool." I don't homeschool since I work during the school year. But Gabby's best friend is going to be homeschooled next year, and she told me recently that she wants to be homeschooled. So I said we'd do a little bit of "home school" over the summer. So every day the older two girls do a couple of pages of math or other problem solving pages. Then they read for 20-30 minutes. Gabby and I review letters, numbers, rhyming, shapes (particularly hexagon, octagon, rhombus and rectangle which she has a bit of trouble remembering) and other skills. We're also working on shapes and colors in Spanish. Gabby is eager to do this each morning. Michelle and Ella are perhaps not eager, but still willing. Later in the day after some fun, Michelle practices violin and Michelle and Ella practice piano. (It's time to get back in that habit. Our piano teacher just had a baby and honestly, the end of the year was so busy that we took 2 1/2 weeks off from piano practice. Now we're getting back in the habit of practicing daily.)

I've also got quite a few art projects that I'm planning for us to do. I want to also incorporate some science experiments as well, but we'll see if I really get that motivated. Of course, we'll also go to 7 Peaks (heading there tomorrow) and the park and some museums and other outings throughout the summer. And they will play with friends. I'm also hoping to pull out my scrapbooking stuff and put all of us to work scrapbooking this summer. And my biggest project (aside from RS stuff) is to get some family history work done and get at least Michelle and Ella involved in that. Family history is what I'm focussing on during family home evening this month. Our missionaries are going to be training anyone who is interested on how to use the new Family Search, so I'm eager for that. So while we don't have any major plans for vacations or anything this summer, I am excited to have this time with my children and to complete projects and spend time together.