Fan the Flame of Your Faith

One of my favorite talks from last general conference was the talk by Elder Holland, "Lord, I Believe." I feel like my faith has grown immensely in the past six months, and I am so very excited to listen to conference next weekend. I attended the General Relief Society Broadcast on Saturday, and it was wonderful! I know that I will be richly fed and blessed next weekend as I listen. I plan to have our family write down some questions we would like answered and listen for those answers. That really helped us to listen more intently last time.

This week for family home evening, I decided to talk about faith with my children. We first sang the song "Faith"(By the way, I have the Ipad app "Sing-Along" and we love it. I loved it when I taught Sunbeams and my children (ages 10, 8, and 5) love it for FHE or just to sing with. It has the primary songs and each song includes several photographs to illustrate their message. I don't recall how much it cost, perhaps $5?, but it was worth it.) We talked about what faith is. Then I read several quotes from Elder Holland's talk. In particular I read his testimony and his quote to "fan the flame of your faith".


Then we used crepe paper to write down things we could do to fan the flame of our faith. They thought of a couple of ways that hadn't crossed my mind. I was pleased with our list. Then we taped each strip of crepe paper to our fan. They loved writing their ideas down (although I helped my 5 year old and even wrote a couple of her ideas down for her to speed the process up). Then we turned it on to see the flames of our faith fanned. A simple but very powerful Family Home Evening that I think will really stick with them and that we can return to over and over. We closed by singing "I Pray in Faith". Dessert was ice cream. (Easy. Which is what I go for most of the time!)


If you were nervous about little fingers near a fan, then you could do this by folding a paper to make a paper fan and then having the child write/draw pictures of how to fan the flame of their faith. Or they could tell you what to write and you could write it. My kids absolutely loved this lesson!

90 Years

Today is my grandpa's 90th birthday. He has lived for nine decades. Nine times longer than Michelle, more than twice as long as I have lived. He has, I'm sure, seen a lot and experienced a lot in those 90 years. He is my only surviving grandparent.

We are having a big party for him in two weeks, but my aunt had us over for dinner, cake and ice cream tonight. It was wonderful to see my grandpa, and very nice to see some aunts, uncles, and cousins that I don't see as often as I would like.

My cousin began asking my grandpa questions, and he answered them. He is a very quiet man and doesn't talk much about his life, so it was interesting to hear what he had to say.

She asked what he thought was the greatest invention in his lifetime. He said the computer. It's amazing what they can do. Then he talked about the first time he got a car...a model T. He talked about being a mechanic in the military. He was young, but he knew how cars worked and by the time he was finishing the military he was in charge of repairing many military vehicles and was also in charge of many mechanics of lower rank. After the military, he opened an auto shop. He owned and worked in an auto shop on 3900 South for many, many years although I think he said he opened a shop in a different location to begin with. (I missed out on parts of the conversation as I helped my kids.)

My grandpa is a hard worker. He is a calm, quiet man who loves his family and loves animals. He and my grandma have always had pets...dogs and cats and sometimes when I was young they even had pet ducks. He has a poodle named Rex that adores him. He doesn't ever leave the house for more than an hour or two unless he can take Rex with him. He says that by the time he gets home from church each week, Rex acts as if he's been gone for months.

My aunt and uncle spend a lot of time at his house, helping him. My uncle said tonight that often when they are working in the yard, neighbors will stop and talk to them and ask how my grandpa is doing. Two different people have given their names and phone numbers to my aunt and uncle and said they'll check in on him anytime. My uncle said that you can tell that people really love him.

We love you, Grandpa! I'm thankful for the example you have always set for me. I'm thankful that I was able to learn a little bit more about your life tonight.

Book Reflections: Covenant Motherhood

I just finished reading an absolutely wonderful book on Thursday. It is called Covenant Motherhood by Stephanie Dibb Sorensen. I heard about this book on a blog I read months ago and put it on hold at the library...and it took at least 4 months for my turn to come. I'm so glad it came when it did, though. It's given me so much to think about and has helped me a lot.

I know that I am a daughter of God. I know it. (Sometimes I forget and often I don't act as I should, but I know this to be true, that I am a daughter of God and have divine worth.) I know that my role as a mother is important, noble and irreplaceable. I feel like I have kind of understood why...as I raise and shape my children, I act as a guide and a teacher to help them become the women they are meant to be. I shape the future, literally, as I teach and train them. The future of this world and their own unique futures. I know that they are precious daughters of God.

But this book really helped me to grasp the magnitude and magnificence of motherhood just a bit more. Sorensen examines 9 roles that the Savior has and then relates how our roles as mothers reflect his role. The roles she examines are that Jesus Christ creates, teaches, succors, provides, cleanses, defends and protects, loves and sacrifices, forgives and shares burdens, and saves. For example, she spoke about how we create...both literally in the sense of creating life and giving birth to our children, but also in the many things we do...decorating, cooking, sewing, getting a child to smile and laugh, preparing a family home evening lesson, and so on. She went to a conference during a time when she felt exhausted and overwhelmed. A young mother shared that she prayed to love what the Lord loves. As we mother, we are doing what the Lord loves. If we pray to love what he loves, we will not feel weary in well-doing, but will find joy.

I really loved the chapter on how Jesus Christ cleanses. How I need his cleansing in my life! How grateful I am for His Atonement and for the gift of repentance! She compares this to what we do for our children. She said that one day as she was cleaning her baby's diaper, the scripture "Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow" came into her mind. (Isaiah 1:18) She writes,

"It dawned on me that Jesus Christ was in the cleaning business. A crucial part of His mission was taking things or people that were soiled and making them clean. In that moment, I felt a flow of love and revelation--clusters of thoughts and ideas that started to fit together like a puzzle. My job was a reflection of His. It could teach me about Him and make me more like Him. This was life-changing information." (page 36)

She talks about how being unclean, either physically or spiritually, is uncomfortable. A cleansing shower brings relief. So helping another to be clean is an act of great service. When we wash our children, when we clean their clothes, when we scrub mud off the floor, each of these acts is us copying the acts of our Master. Yes, these jobs can get tiresome, and yes, they are repetitive. But, just as we must clean and reclean our homes and our children, the Savior must clean and reclean us. Surely he never tires of forgiving us our sins and washing us clean. She writes,

My simple service of cleaning in my own home and with my own family mirrors His greater mission. It makes me love Him more, know Him more, serve Him more, understand Himm more, and even become more like He is. ANd when I think of all the times I sin and repeat the sin or fall into new ons, I realize that I am not much different from my children adn their messes; nevertheless, Jesus Christ cleanses me over and over and over again because He loves me. Cleaning equals service and service equals love. (page 40)

She then writes that after saying all of that, she doesn't think that means that we are to have a perfect house. We hear about our home being like a temple. She says, "Our home is a temple, not because it looks like one but because of the eternally important work that happens there." She says we should want a clean home and work at it, but be patient and forgiving with ourselves and our families.(page 40)
I just loved that chapter on how Jesus Christ cleans. I am going to try to ponder this more and feel this way more when I am doing the (endless) tasks of cleaning my home.

The other thing that touched me so deeply was in Chapter 10. She referred to the story in Mark 12: 42-44, "And there came a certain poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing. And he called unto him his disciples and saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury: For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living." (I have always only thought of this in a monetary sense. I try to be generous in what I give, but because I am so blessed, I've never thought of myself as being like this widow...but this part of the book brought me to tears and I've been thinking about it ever since.)

Parenting is not a system of efficiency. I'm sure He (Christ) could parent my children much better than I can, but He allows me to do it because I learn how to be more like Him in the process. ...He praised the poor widow woman even though she gave only two tiny mites--a seemingly insignificant offering compared to what everyone else offered. ...Once again, the Savior showed us His attitude toward what we are able to give. He does not demand a flawless offering, and He honors and appreciates our best efforts. He calls them enough. (page 80-81)

Somehow pondering that story in regards to my offering as a mother has brought so much peace and a whole new depth to those verses. I often feel that what I am able to give my children is so lacking. I lose my patience too often. I don't always do the things that I know I should. I try, but I miss days of scripture study or sometimes miss a week of Family Home Evening. In many ways, my offering as a mother is like that widow's mite. It isn't much on some days. But if it is MY best effort, it will be enough. That brings tremendous joy and peace. And I believe that it also extends to other areas of my life as well. I am not a perfect wife or teacher of the year. I make mistakes as a Relief Society President. I am not always a great friend. But if I am giving my best effort, if I am casting in all that I have to give at that moment, it is enough. And he will magnify my efforts and wipe away my tears and make me more than I am alone. That is a powerful promise to me!

There are at least 20 or 30 other quotes I would love to share. I love how she combined scriptures, quotes from leaders of the church, personal insights and her own (and others') experiences.

Perhaps the thing that I loved most is that Sorensen shared brilliant mothering moments as well as moments of discouragement and mistakes. I finished the book feeling inspired and awed, but not feeling guilty. And my testimony and love for the Savior grew.

My thoughts on Sunday Session of Stake Conference

President Isaac, our wonderful stake president, spoke about a woman who was drunk or high that came to his door in the middle of the night. She was crying and saying she didn't know who she was and couldn't someone help her. She said she came to their house because she saw the (porch) light. He related this to how many around us don't know who they are and are looking for light and truth. Many don't know where to find the truth.

He also read part of a letter from a sister missionary serving from my ward. She is in Illinois in an area with high poverty. The people have a lot of challenges. She wrote, "I may not know how to help someone but Jesus Christ knows exactly how to heal them and help them." That really touched me. How often I visit with people and hear their challenges and don't know how to help them. I still feel so young and so inexperienced in many ways. I don't know how to alleviate their suffering. But I do know that my Savior lives and that He loves them. And I know that He knows how to heal them and help them. And I can love them. I can't always alleviate their suffering, but I can love them and comfort them and bear testimony that He is there.

He also said that if you wonder why or how to do missionary work or who to teach or share your testimony with, ask of God. He will answer.

Sister Dewsnup spoke about driving home through a snow storm. It was terrifying. She was so thankful to come home. Our homes should be a sanctuary, a refuge from the storms of life, places of safety and peace.

She asked if our homes are places where we can grow physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

(Just a couple days before conference, I'd read on a blog--but can't remember which one--that our homes where people, feelings and the Spirit are safe...and that asking if we're keeping those 3 things safe can be a guideline for determining behavior. This reminded me of that.)

Elder Dewsnup talked about who we are. We literally have the seeds of Godhead within us, we are truly children of God. In a conference he attended while serving a mission wiht his wife, Elder Bednar said, "To avoid temptation and hte evils of the world, never forget who you are." That is profound. I know it is true.

Stake Conference Adult Session

Last night was the adult session of stake conference. President Peterson spoke first and spoke about Joseph of Egypt. Here are the things that stood out to me from his talk.

**God is there and He loves each of us. He will help us through trials. Over and over in Genesis it says, "But God was with him." He will also put people in our life to help us. He is there to rescue us. To save us.

**Elder Wirthlin gave a talk entitled "Come What May and Love It". He said in this talk that The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. Every tear shed today will be repaid hundredfold in the next life.

**my favorite quote was one he shared from Elder Oaks. Elder Oaks was called to be a ward mission leader at a time when he was very busy in his career. He said, "I learned that I could do more professionally in part of my time with His help than in all of my time without it." It doesn't make sense logically, but I know this is true. When I faithfully dedicate some of my time to studying the gospel, visiting teaching, serving others and so on, then I somehow am better able to get my other responsibilities done. And I feel more peace and happiness.

Then Sister Dewsnup spoke.

**She spoke abt a newspaper article she read about a group of tourists that foolishly ignored signs and warnings and walked right up to Old Faithful in Yellowstone. They could easily have been in "hot water", literally and figuratively. The commandments are warning signs for us and are there to protect us and allow us to become who we are meant to be.

**She also said when we live the commandments, we will be comfortable around the Savior when He comes again. I want nothing more than to be able to fall at His feet, to worship Him, to know Him, and to be comfortable in His presence. Am I living now so that will be the case?

Then Elder Dewsnup of the 70 spoke.

**He spoke about real growth, real conversion. He shared Alma 5:11-14....conversion is a turning. We don't just act different, we are different. He also shared and discussed D&C 82:13-14.

**He shared the quote by President Packer, "True doctrine understood changes attitudes and behaviors." Then he talked about each word in that quote.

**True: the things we teach must be true.

**Doctrine: he explained that there is only one doctrine of Christ but many facets of that doctrine. (He pointed out that any time the plural doctrines is used, it is to refer to doctrines of men or doctrines of devils). As we teach, we must be sure that we are connecting what we are teaching to Christ and teaching not just the application of a principle but the doctrine of it.

He then examined with us the principles taught this year in the youth curriculum and how they go in an order that allows the youth to really see who they are in relation to God, really understand the plan, and sets a foundation for their obedience and faith. Our leaders are so inspired.

**Understood: He explained that we can know something without really understanding it. He told of a trip to the beach with his family. There were signs warning of dangerous riptides and explained to his daughter what a riptide is and what to do if caught in one. He knew what riptides were. The next day, he went body surfing and got unknowingly caught in a riptide and had to be rescued by a lifeguard. Now he really understood what riptides are. We, too, need to really understand the doctrine, have it written in our hearts.

**Changes attitudes and behavior: Understanding doctrine changes not only how we are willing to act but also how we think about how we are willing to act. It changes not just what we do but our thoughts and feelings about the commandments...our inward obedience.

**He closed by talking about the Savior's injunction to feed His sheep. When thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren. Each of us needs to strengthen our own conversion and then work to strengthen others. Only through feeding His sheep will we become truly like our Savior.

My Princesses and their Prince

Last Saturday, we got a dog. His name is Prince (he was given that name by his former family that we adopted him from). He is a sweet little thing.

He adores the girls and is housebroken. But he needs some training...or maybe he just isn't bilingual and we need to use commands in Spanish! :) He is quite a scaredy cat though. I bought him a ball that squeaks and he's terrified of it. He doesn't like the squeak and he doesn't like it if we roll it toward him. I was trying to be nice when I bought it, but we've put it away for now and will try again in a month or two to see if he's still scared.

The girls adore him, and they are so happy to have a new dog.

Hastening the Work

Hastening the work has been on my mind a lot lately. Obviously, it is on the mind of church leadership. It is happening. I have pondered a lot how I can contribute to hastening the work. I am not a full time missionary, and I am very busy. Here are some of the thoughts I've had.

First, I want to share some verses of scripture that our Bishop shared on Sunday in sacrament meeting. Ezekiel 33:2-9...these verses speak about being watchmen on the tower that must raise the warning voice. Verse 7 says, "So thou, O son of man, I have set thee a watchman unto the house of Israel; therefore thou shalt hear the word at my mouth, and warn them from me." Then verse 9 says, "Nevertheless, if thou warn the wicked of his way to turn from it; if he do not turn from his way, he shall die in his iniquity; but thou hast delivered thy soul." As our Bishop read these words, I was struck by how critical it is that those of us who have the gospel be willing to set an example and open our mouths and share it with others. In particular, two names popped into my head of people that I need to do a better job of sharing it with.

Some other thoughts about how I can help to hasten the work:

1. Teach my children the gospel and be diligent in having family prayer, scripture study and FHE. It is my responsiblity, each of our responsibilities, to prepare our children to be future missionaries. Our homes should be mini MTC's to prepare our children for missions and temple covenants.
Relief society training about making our homes into mini MTCs:
Mini MTC's
Here is the link to the Worldwide Hastening the Work training:
Hastening the Work
Some resources for FHE lessons about missionary work:
Catch the Wave
Missionary
missionary work

2. I have felt so strongly that visiting teaching and home teaching is THE KEY to increasing missionary work in our ward. We have, for just over a year now, been part of a brand new mission where a set of elders is assigned to 1 or 2 wards and we have much greater responsibility for helping them find people to teach. In wards the size of ours here in Utah, that is challenging. (By that I mean that geographically our wards are very small.) Do able, but challenging. We have so many sisters that are members but are not currently participating fully in the gospel. I am trying to visit as many of them as I can, but it is impossible for me to visit all of them regularly. However, if every sister did her visiting teaching, if every sister prayed for those she is assigned to visit teach, if every sister showed love and genuine concern for those she visit taught, then every woman in our ward boundaries would feel loved by someone and would have the opportunity to have a positive contact with the church each month. I know that this alone would not bring all of them back. But I also know that many sisters within our ward boundaries have received two or less visits in the past year. If we want to rescue souls, they need to know they are loved. They need to know they are not forgotten. And if every sister were having positive contact monthly with the church, some of them would come back. Not all of them. But some of them would. The missionaries would have people to teach and work with. Our ward would be strengthened. And most importantly, lives would be changed. I am not a perfect visiting teacher, nor a perfect Relief Society President, but I am trying to be better. And I do feel deep in my soul that if we could help each person to catch this vision of what home teaching and visiting teaching are all about then the work would progress.

3. Open my mouth. Talk about church at work. Invite neighbors, those I visit teach and others to ward activities or to Relief Society Activities or even just to dinner at my home.

4. Help the Elders when I can. Feed them meals. Let them know about sisters I have visited that may be open to having the missionaries visit. Find people to teach in my home or attend lessons they are teaching to members of my ward. (I've had the opportunity to participate in a lesson they were teaching once, and it was wonderful! I hope to do this more.)

5. Donate to the ward missionary fund or general church missionary fund.

6. Have faith. Sunday evening there was a regional training about hastening the work. They shared the story in Alma 23:5-6 about Lamanites being converted. These verses say, "And thousands were brought to the knowledge of the Lord, yea, thousands were brought to believe in the traditions of the Nephites; and they were taught the records and prophecies which were handed down even to the present time. And as sure as the Lord liveth, so sure as many as believed, or as many as were brought to the knowledge of the truth, through the preaching of Ammon and his brethren, according to the spirit of revelation and of prophecy, and the power of God working miracles in them--yea, I say unto you, as the Lord liveth, as many as the Lamanites as believed in their preaching, and were converted unto the Lord, never did fall away."
After reading these verses, they then had audience members point out what they noticed as we heard that story. I was very touched when a friend of mine, Annette, pointed out that this was real history. This really happened. The Lamanites didn't seem likely to join the church by the thousands, and yet because of the faith of Ammon and his brethren and because of the power of their teaching, thousands did join. We, today, need to have faith that the same types of conversion can happen. As President Monson said, people can and do change. We should not see people as they are now, but as they can become. Increase faith. (I'm not sure why, but this one is a bit hard for me. Change seems to usually happen slowly, and I often doubt whether I have the capability of really helping others to change.... Of course, I don't. But the spirit does. But this seems to be a lesson I have to learn and relearn and continue to try to strengthen my faith.)

7. Write letters to and pray for the missionaries serving from our ward. Pray for the missionaries serving in our ward.

8. Listen to and follow promptings about who to visit, what to say, when to share my testimony, etc.

9. Magnify my calling. Live the gospel to the best of my ability, repent, and love the Lord with all my heart, might, mind and strength.

And if possible, try to motivate and encourage others to do these things as well.

Commandments show us that God loves us

I had the opportunity to speak in sacrament meeting on Sunday. I was truly very grateful for the opportunity. I loved the topic I was given, and I loved the talk that I was to base my talk on. My topic was that God gives us commandments because he loves us, and I was asked to refer to President Uchtdorf's talk "Forget Me Not". I don't mind speaking in church or in public (in general) and I feel like I always learn so much from the opportunity to teach or speak, and it helps me to have my personal scripture/gospel study be very focussed and intent.

I felt the spirit as I was preparing the talk, and I hope others felt it as I was speaking. Here is my talk.
***
A few weeks ago, my 5 year old was quite upset with me due to the consequences she received for some misbehavior. She was whining that it wasn’t fair. I said that I was sorry she made those poor choices. She continued to complain. Then I said, “It must be hard to have such a mean mom.” She replied, “You’re nice, Mom. Just not the kind of nice I need.” Do we sometimes feel or act that way toward our Heavenly Father? When we have commandments to follow and we don’t understand why or when our trials feel hard or we just don’t have enough perspective, do we sometimes, at least in our minds, begin to complain and whine and feel like maybe God is good and kind, but not the kind of nice that we need? In many ways, we are still little children when it comes to spiritual things. Our Heavenly Father is a perfect parent…He is truly our Father, and He loves us infinitely. He forgives us and He is patient with us, and His love and mercy are infinite. He gives us commandments because He loves us. He wants us to be safe. In reality, He IS exactly the kind of Father that we need. He IS exactly the kind of nice that we need.

Satan lies and tries to deceive us so that he can lead us away from what is right. One of the ways he does this is he tries to confuse us about who we are and why we are here. He tries to get us to forget that we are children of God, and forget our purpose on this earth. He tells us that it is okay to sin and not keep the commandments. …In Nephi 28:3 we read, “Eat, drink and be merry; nevertheless, fear God--he will justify in committing a little sin; yea, lie a little, take the advantage of one because of his words, dig a pit for thy neighbor; there is no harm in this,” Satan tries to convince us that there is no harm in sin, especially in sinning just a little bit. But then once we fall into his trap, he tells us when we do sin that we are no longer worthy to be loved or forgiven or to pray. He is the “father of all lies” and desires to lead us away from our Savior and Father. But there is always a way back.

The path is marked, and it requires obedience. Obedience is important because it provides safety and peace as Sister Crabtree and Brother Cannon spoke about so beautifully last Sunday. And it is a way for us to show our love to our Savior and our Heavenly Father. In John 14:15, Jesus taught, “If ye love me, keep my commandments.” Keeping the commandments shows our Savior and Father that we love them.

In his beautiful talk, “Forget Me Not”, Elder Uchtdorf said, “God wants to help us to eventually turn all of our weaknesses into strengths,1 but He knows that this is a long-term goal. He wants us to become perfect,2 and if we stay on the path of discipleship, one day we will. It’s OK that you’re not quite there yet. Keep working on it, but stop punishing yourself.”

A few months ago, I read a book by Gerald Lund entitled Hearing the Voice of the Lord. Several things he said stood out to me, but one in particular has echoed in my head and heart. He said that the Lord is easily pleased but not easily satisfied. In other words, the Lord is so very pleased with every step we take in the right direction. We came to church today….He is so pleased. If you’ve done your home or visiting teaching this month, He is so pleased. (If you haven’t, there’s still time!J) If you study your scriptures today and tomorrow and the next day, He will be so pleased. But He isn’t satisfied with the steps we’ve taken so far. To explain this Elder Lund compared it to us as parents with a young baby. The first time that baby stands and takes a couple of steps, we’ll be thrilled. We’ll be so pleased but we won’t be satisfied because we want him to walk, then run. My five year old knows the alphabet and is starting to sound out words. I’m so pleased, but I’m not satisfied. I want her to read better and better until the world opens to her through the words in books. I want her to be literate in English and Spanish. I am so very pleased with where she is now. But I’m not satisfied…there’s so much more room for her to learn and grow. So, too, the Lord is pleased with where you are right now, but He isn’t satisfied. He knows you. He knows that you are destined to become great. He knows that you are His child, a literal child of God and that you have the potential to become like Him. He won’t be fully satisfied until you have become perfected in Him. Sometimes we see where we are on the path and notice how much farther, we have to go and we become discouraged. But we really shouldn’t, as long as we are on the path and continuing to progress. And if we’ve gotten off the path and aren’t keeping the commandments, then we need to repent, hop back on the path and then forgive ourselves.

We really should adopt the old Nike slogan, “Just do it” when it comes to keeping the commandments. Our lives will be happier and full of more peace if we just do it when it comes to paying our tithing, studying the scriptures, praying sincerely and purposefully, completing our home and visiting teaching and so on. Just do it. Do it because you love your Savior and Father in Heaven. Do it because you love your fellow man. Just do it so that you can feel peace and joy. Just do it so you can return and live with them eternally.

As President Uchtdorf said, he doesn’t expect us to be perfect right now. President Uchtdorf said, “Many of you are endlessly compassionate and patient with the weaknesses of others. Please remember also to be compassionate and patient with yourself.
In the meantime, be thankful for all the small successes in your home, your family relationships, your education and livelihood, your Church participation and personal improvement. Like the forget-me-nots, these successes may seem tiny to you and they may go unnoticed by others, but God notices them and they are not small to Him. If you consider success to be only the most perfect rose or dazzling orchid, you may miss some of life’s sweetest experiences.”

I don’t want to miss life’s sweetest experiences because I’m not paying attention or I’m too busy finding fault with myself over my imperfections.

Elder Uchtdorf cautioned us to remember why we are on this path of obedience… He said, “the gospel of Jesus Christ is not an obligation; it is a pathway, marked by our loving Father in Heaven, leading to happiness and peace in this life and glory and inexpressible fulfillment in the life to come. The gospel is a light that penetrates mortality and illuminates the way before us.”

I love that image of the gospel being a light… it shows us the way to return home. See John 8:12. Our Savior is the light of the world and he that follows the Savior shall not walk in darkness. This reminds me of the lighthouses President Monson spoke about in his talk in Believe, Obey and Endure in the general young women meeting in 2012. He said,
“Is there a way to safety? Is there an escape from threatened destruction? The answer is a resounding yes! I counsel you to look to the lighthouse of the Lord. I have said it before; I will say it again: there is no fog so dense, no night so dark, no gale so strong, no mariner so lost but what the lighthouse of the Lord can rescue. It beckons through the storms of life. It calls, “This way to safety. This way to home.” It sends forth signals of light easily seen and never failing. If followed, those signals will guide you back to your heavenly home.”

President Uchtdorf said, “While understanding the “what” and the “how” of the gospel is necessary, the eternal fire and majesty of the gospel springs from the “why.” When we understand why our Heavenly Father has given us this pattern for living, when we remember why we committed to making it a foundational part of our lives, the gospel ceases to become a burden and, instead, becomes a joy and a delight. It becomes precious and sweet.”

If we are keeping the commandments out of fear or obligation, we are less likely to find the peace and joy that we all seek. But if we are keeping the commandments because we understand whose we are, because we understand what the future holds for us (“all that the Father hath”) and because we love our Father, then we will have peace and joy. Not every moment, because we are human. We forget, we sin, we get distracted, we buy into Satan’s lies at times. But as we strive to keep the commandments for the right reasons and we pray to have our heart filled with love for our Father and for our fellowmen, our joy and peace will increase.


President Uchtdorf said, “The “what” and “how” of obedience mark the way and keep us on the right path. The “why” of obedience sanctifies our actions, transforming the mundane into the majestic. It magnifies our small acts of obedience into holy acts of consecration.”

In other words, understanding WHY we keep the commandments, makes us more Godlike.

Jeremiah 31: 33 says, “But this shall be the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel; After those days, saith the Lord, I will put my law in their inward parts, and write it in their hearts; and will be their God, and they shall be my people.” I love this idea that his law, his commandments become written on our hearts. I find it so comforting that he promises to be our God, and will make us his people. What a great promise!

I feel strongly that our Father would like each of us to know who we truly are, a precious son or daughter of God, and to really know and feel, daily, that we are so loved. I want that for each of us… for my family, for the women, the children, the youth, the Priesthood. I know our Heavenly Father wants us to really know that we are children of God. To not just sing, “I am a Child of God“ with our children, but to really feel it in our hearts and to love Him back. . In perhaps my favorite conference quote ever, President Uchtdorf said this, “You are not forgotten. Sisters, wherever you are, whatever your circumstances may be, you are not forgotten. No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you with an infinite love. Just think of it: You are known and remembered by the most majestic, powerful, and glorious Being in the universe! You are loved by the King of infinite space and everlasting time! He who created and knows the stars knows you and your name—you are the daughters of His kingdom.”

How powerful and majestic is that! You are literally a child of God. He asks you to be honest, to pray, to read scriptures, to serve, to pay tithing and to obey other commandments because He LOVES YOU! He does it to protect you from the power and influence of the adversary and to bring you safely home again. You are His son or His daughter. I can’t think of any truth or any part of the gospel of Jesus Christ that is more wonderful or powerful than that truth. He is your Father. The Savior is your Brother. They love you, and they love me. Our obedience shows them that we love them back.
May we each strive to show our love to them through our obedience.

Sweetest Letter Ever

One of my students brought me the sweetest letter on Tuesday. It's been a hard year so far. My students are pretty good, and I know that I'm blessed, but if you've been reading my blog, you know that I've been struggling a bit. But I'm doing better.

Anyway, this letter really helped me feel better. Her mom obviously helped her with it, but it made my day. Maybe even my week.

This is what it said:

"Dear Mrs. Panameno, the first day taht I saw you and I met you I thought I was not going to have a bad teacher. Every day you make my day and I learn a lot from you. Now I know how to read. Every day even on Saturdays and Sundays I want to go to school to learn and be with my best teacher. Thank you."

No, sweet student, thank you. Thank you for a heartfelt note at a time when I needed it.

Natural History Museum...Library Day

Everyone who completed the Salt Lake County Summer Library Reading Program received a certificate that allowed you to attend the Natural History Museum for free on Sat. September 7 or Weds. Sept. 11. We read all summer long, and so we headed to the Natural History Museum on Saturday. Gabby is still a bit young to fully enjoy the museum. There were parts she liked but on the parts she didn't like, she did not want to wait for us to look at things at all. But we still got to see much of the museum, including a cool exhibit about wild weather that wasn't at the museum last time we went. Gabby really liked the dinosaurs.

Look at the baby mammoth. So cute...can you call a mammoth skeleton cute?
Look at that neck! And that wasn't all of it...just all I could get framed in my camera lens. Crazy. Sure wouldn't want to get a kink in my neck if my neck was that long!

Gabby and Michelle both liked trying to build a building that would not get knocked down by the Earthquake simulator.


Ella enjoyed looking at rocks and minerals since she studied them last year.


There were lots of other cool things to see and do... especially in the play room (don't remember what it's really called, but it was a hands on room for kids). It was also neat to go outside and see the Salt Lake Valley and identify the types of clouds in the sky.


My favorite exhibit was the one on natural disasters. I could have spent a much longer time in there, but Gabby got impatient. There was information on volcanoes, earthquakes, tornadoes, floods, hurricanes, tsunamis and perhaps other disasters. They did a demonstration of what happens during an earthquake if your house is built on a sandy foundation. You could design your own volcano and see how it erupts. So many photos and stories and facts and information... very interesting.


Very interesting and fun outing. Afterwards, we stopped at Del Taco for the girls to get their free tacos from the summer reading program. Super fun way to spend the morning/early afternoon. So glad we read all summer! :)

Super Fun or Exhausting...depends on your age?!

Two weeks ago, I took the girls to Discovery Gateway on a Friday evening. It was the end of the first full week of school. The girls loved it. I get a kick out of how much Michelle and Ella like it, particularly the shopping center. They could play there for hours, I think. Gabby, on the other hand, likes to flit from one activity to another.

The girls had such a good time. We got there about 5:30 and stayed until it was closing at 8. It was pretty crowded when we first got there, but it was mostly empty the last 30 minutes.

I enjoyed watching them, but near the end, I was sitting down watching them and felt myself start to nod off...my eyes were having trouble staying open and every few minutes my head would bounce. It wasn't even 8 PM yet, so that was pretty sad. I kept thinking, "I must be getting old if I want to go to bed at 8 PM on a Friday night." Hopefully, it was just the end of the first week of school...and the exhaustion that goes along with that. :)

(I'm not sure. So far, I find that I'm completely physically and emotionally exhausted by Thursday evening of every week...and really need to plan to hide out at home on Thursdays. This past Thursday I subbed in a bunco group in my ward, and the Thursday before that I went to book club. Both weeks a simple question from a friend made me get teary eyed and emotional. At Bunco, I held it together pretty well, and I'm not sure anyone noticed except one person. But at Book Club, I think I worried a couple of my friends because I tried to say something jokingly and as I began to laugh, the tears started rolling down my eyes and I couldn't stop crying for several minutes. Really, I am going to be okay. I know I will. It's been a difficult transition going back to work this year. Partly because my baby started kindergarten and she had a hard time the first week. Partly because of the "F" label I wrote about, and my own personal growth scores at work. Partly because I had a schedule worked out last year that allowed me to get many of my RS visits done without kids and at a time that they didn't really realize I was gone, and that isn't working so well now that Gabby is in school... So I feel guilty if I don't do visits, although I have been justifying it a bit because I'm so busy and exhausted...and I feel guilty when I do visits and it takes me away from my family when they've been at school all day. My wonderful Bishop and I met on Sunday to discuss Relief Society. I didn't say anything about how difficult the last three weeks have been. I was feeling so much better on Sunday...and so far that has continued to today. :) But right before I left, my very wise and in tune Bishop commented that the burdens/responsibilities we carry as leaders are not too heavy...and when they feel like they are, if we turn to the Lord, He will ease them for us and give us the strength to carry them. I know that is true. I have felt that in the past, and I know that as I consistently study the scriptures and the gospel, pray for strength and forget myself and go to work, I will be strengthened and blessed. Already I feel better than I had been feeling.... Hopefully, that will still be true by this Thursday. :))

Anyway, enough about me and my exhaustion..here are some photos of the children's museum.

I really do have such sweet, beautiful children, in my (biased) opinion. I am so very thankful for them, for the many fun memories we created over the summer and will continue to create throughout the year. I'm thankful for their goodness and all that I learn being their mom. It's such a blessing to be their mom. While I'm busier than I'd like to be, I am thankful for the opportunities I have to learn and grow through the responsibilities I have.

F is for Fabulous

So our wonderful state legislature decided to assign each school a grade based on growth AND overall performance on state tests. (Sarcasm. I don't think our state legislature is very wonderful.) They have a complex formula for assigning the grade, and a bill passed in the last session that this grade will be published in the newspaper. It was. This past week. The school where I work got an F. That's pretty good for morale, right? (Yep, more sarcasm.)

I think there are so many problems with this bill, and I probably could write about 20 reasons, but I'm going to try to be brief and only name a few.

First, how is this helpful to anyone? We get no extra funding, no extra support, etc. to help us do better. All that happens is we all feel terrible. Teachers that are highly dedicated, hard working and who genuinely care about our students. I have a wonderful, imperfect (you know, because we're human), but wonderful staff at my school.

Second, the system is flawed. Utah has two accountability systems at work right now, and they rank schools in two different ways and schools get huge fluctuations in their performance scores depending on which system is used. Like one system says you're a C school and another an F. There's a big difference between those.

Third, it's not quite the same, but it is kind of insulting to hand the whole school a grade. It's kind of like handing out the whole class the same grade... you got an A, you got an F, you got a C, so I averaged it all together and the whole class gets a C. That works for me. (NOW I do NOT say this to indicate that I want individual teacher's scores printed...but I know there are states that do that.)

Fourth, my job entails so much more than getting kids to pass one test at the end of the year. I work at a school with about 98% poverty and about 60% of students are English language learners. I love my job. But these kids have hard lives. That's not an excuse...but it is a reality. I teach them English, reading, writing, spelling, math, science, social studies, and music. But I also teach them to be respectful and responsible. I show them love. I'm not just teaching content...I'm teaching children, a whole bunch of them, with a variety of needs, challenges, disabilities, abilities, strengths and weaknesses. They come at a wide range of levels, and they make progress, but they leave at a wide range of levels...which seems like real human nature to me. I am pretty intelligent, but I do not do well with electronics/mechanical processes. I would not make a good repairman...my brain doesn't work that way. But I read avidly and often remember titles, authors and some details of books for long periods of time (without really trying to). Does that make me a better person or smarter person than the person who is good at fixing electronics? No. But see, tests really only measure knowledge in one way and aren't a real indication of what that child knows. And they don't measure what kind of citizen that child will grow up to be. Or whether that child has learned to be responsible. Whether that child is creative, musical, athletic, or funny. There's so much more to being human than reading and math ability as measured by a multiple choice test. And there's so much more to being a teacher than just getting kids to pass a test.

Fifth, I honestly don't really get how they figured an F. I see my school has room for improvement. However, our test scores have been going up. (Not that I think test scores are an accurate representation of all that is happening, but that is what the country is using right now.) Our scores are significantly higher now than they were 3 years ago or 5 years ago. So how is it that we have an F? Many of my students are performing at the same level as their peers in schools with high socioeconomic status. About 80% of my students passed the tests. As I said, there's still room for improvement, but if 3/4 or 4/5 of our students are passing the test, then I think there's lots of room for celebration along with room for improvement.

Finally (although, really, as I said before, I can enumerate even more reasons this system stinks) the data people always say you really should have at least three data points. Three different tests to determine how a child is doing. Yet when doing teacher or school accountability systems, only one data point is used. CRTs. If we really want to have valid information about how schools are doing, we need more data points not fewer.

Sometimes I begin to feel very discouraged. Especially when I'm working as hard as I am and I care as much as I do. But it helps (at least a little) when I talk to coworkers and especially when I talk to neighbors. When I talk to my neighbors, I am reminded that regardless of what the media or legislature portrays, most people I know are pretty happy with most teachers they know. There is still a lot of respect for what I do among "ordinary" people. And since that's coming from people I respect, that's got to count for a lot more than what politicians and reporters are saying and doing.

My dear friend/coworker said, half seriously/half jokingly, that we should hang "F is for Fabulous" on our marquee. Maybe we should. It's not an easy job we have, but we do it with love and I think my faculty IS fabulous!