Holland Devoted Disciple

 Back in 2012, life felt overwhelming.  I was working full time as a teacher in a challenging, Title 1 school and had a young family.  Alfredo wasn't very active in the Church and so I usually took my children to church alone and sometimes he seemed frustrated that we went.  It was just hard.  And I began to wonder if maybe life would be easier if I stopped going for awhile. I knew the Church was true but it was just so hard. I also began to pray that I'd have help to better manage my responsibilities which felt heavy.  

On a 5th Sunday, I attended a combined meeting for all adults during the 3rd hour. Our Bishop spoke for a few minutes and then played a message from Elder Holland.  I think it had been given to missionaries though I'm not certain.   But that talk changed my life.  I would be able to repeat only the main idea of the talk except that a few months later, in October General Conference, Elder Holland shared nearly the same talk in conference. It is my very favorite talk ever given,  The First Great Commandment.  In this talk he said,

“If ye love me, keep my commandments,”¹⁴ Jesus said. So we have neighbors to bless, children to protect, the poor to lift up, and the truth to defend. We have wrongs to make right, truths to share, and good to do. In short, we have a life of devoted discipleship to give in demonstrating our love of the Lord. We can’t quit and we can’t go back. After an encounter with the living Son of the living God, nothing is ever again to be as it was before. The Crucifixion, Atonement, and Resurrection of Jesus Christ mark the beginning of a Christian life, not the end of it. It was this truth, this reality, that allowed a handful of Galilean fishermen-turned-again-Apostles without “a single synagogue or sword”¹⁵ to leave those nets a second time and go on to shape the history of the world in which we now live."

Those words and others he shared seared into my heart and soul.  I knew that I knew the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was true and that I had a life of devoted discipleship to give in demonstrating my love of the Lord.  And I did love Him.  I always have. I knew then that the answer was definitely NOT to stop going to church for awhile.  (And I shudder to think how my life might be now and how my daughter's lives might be now if I had chosen to stop going.  Hopefully someone would have noticed and ministered to us and helped us return.  But how long might that have taken?  What impact might that have had?)

To me, this story would be miraculous and beautiful if it ended right there.  The Lord knew what I was considering...even though I never said it to Him or anyone else.  The Lord knew what I needed to hear that would help me choose Christ in a time of difficulty (and over and over again...whenever I begin to struggle, I reread or relisten to this talk and feel strength and determination flow into me again.)

But the story doesn't end there.  This 5th Sunday lesson took place over the summer.  I soon went back to work and life felt even busier than before.  I was still really struggling to manage all of my responsibilities and often felt like I wasn't very successful at any of them.  I prayed and prayed to know what I could let go of but I didn't feel like there was anything.  In December, I got a phone call asking me to meet with the Bishop.  My husband and I went in and I was called to be the ward Relief Society President.  Now this seems counterintuitive that this would be the answer to my prayer, but it was.  I was exhausted and busy and didn't feel like I could handle all of my responsibilities...and now I had even more responsibilities.  But I quickly found that the enabling power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ is real.   I suddenly had time and energy to fulfill my previous responsibilities AND all the new ones I had as Relief Society President.  I suddenly didn't feel continually drained...though I was very busy.  I found that the more consistent I was with scripture study and prayer and serving others and magnifying my calling, the more time and energy I had for my job and my family and my other obligations.  I built relationships that I still treasure.  I learned a lot about myself and a lot about the Savior.  I came to have a much clearer understanding of who I was and what my mission in life is.  I felt the Savior's love for the women I served in very real and tangible ways that I can't fully articulate but that I know are true.  One of the greatest blessings of my life thus far were the combination of that lesson/conference talk and my determination to be a devoted disciple of Christ and the subsequent calling as RS President (which would likely not have happened without that talk from Elder Holland).  I learned lessons that changed how I live.

LESSONS LEARNED:   There are so many but here are the two biggest ones:

Heavenly Father is intimately involved in the details of our lives.  He knows what we need and sometimes He will even answer our unuttered desires when we haven't even formulated them in prayer.  

When we do the best we can to live as we believe, to be devoted disciples of Christ, and to put first things first, the Lord can enable us to do and be more than we are capable of on our own!