Saturday, March 7, 2009

terrible threes

I don't know why people call it the terrible twos. I really think three is much harder than two. But I had a mini-epiphany this week. My Ella is a sweet girl, but she can be a handful. There are moments that she really challenges us and wears on our patience. I was thinking about this a few days ago and wondering if it was a) just her age, b) her own personality, c)something I'd done wrong, or d) all of the above.

The answer: e) probably all of the above plus the fact that in many ways she has had a difficult year. I worried a lot about how Michelle would react when Ella was born, but I guess this time I have been pretty busy thinking about how I would handle another baby. So a couple of days ago, it just hit me that part of her terrible threes are probably a reflection of the changes to happen in her little life this year. Michelle, her very best friend and playmate, started school and is no longer with her all day long. Gabrielle was born. Alfredo changed jobs and works Monday through Friday. Previously, he'd always been home with the girls 1 or 2days a week. And then in January, she changed from the only babysitter she knew to a new babysitter. That is a lot of changes for a little girl of only 3 (almost 4) years old. It doesn't excuse tantrums or bad behavior, but it has given me more empathy for her and patience to deal with it.

5 comments:

  1. Guess what... I'm going to let ya in on a little secret - THREES for my little XAR were THE SAME WAY!! SHE drove me nuts some days! And she didn't go through all that many changes at the time! SO... hang in there! FOURS, in my humble opinion... ARE THE BEST!!!!! BEST year of a child's life!!! :)

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  2. She HAS had a lot for a little girl to deal with lately.
    She is very good at school though. (if that makes you feel better)

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  3. I agree--most of the twos are not terrible. Victor will be three next Sunday, and in the last two months has he been exhibiting some terrible behavior. It's very trying, so I'm glad he has lots of happy moments, too.

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  4. So hard to deal with! I have been having an extremely hard time lately with Max acting out...and...I think it has to do with me still trying to find a balance with Annie's schooling and Max's quality mom time! I am hoping that next year when I am spending more time with schooling Max that he will feel a little better about things.

    I am sorry that Ella is having a difficult time lately, I hope that things will get better for you...and props to you for pin-pointing the problem and having more sympathy for her! Heaven help us:)

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  5. I think three is a hard age for most kids. I don't think it is just my Ella bo bella.

    And I do know she is a good girl. She is great at school. She is great at church (almost always). She is really good when she is not with us. And even a lot of the time at home. But she can sure test my patience at times. And I also know that is normal.

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