Emily Freeman Diabetes Darkness

 When Emily Freeman's son was 3, he became quite sick.  Soon they diagnosed him with diabetes.  He was only 3 so he didn't understand why his mom wants to hurt him and keeps hurting him by pricking him and giving him shots.  He doesn't understand that she is keeping him alive.   Suddenly, he can't eat cookies or have strawberry milk or candy.  Every single day is hard.  Emily felt consumed in darkness.  After a year, her husband asks her, "When are you ever going to come back?"  She replied, "I might not."  A few weeks later, she decides to call to get some mental health help.  

She pours out her soul to the receptionist.  The receptionist says, "Oh honey, you just need a massage."  That was her last resort.  Her life will never improve, she is certain.  That night after everyone is asleep, she cries.  (page 47-50 in Even This.)

She thinks through everyone she knows...who can help her?  After thinking through everyone, she realizes...no one can help her.  No one can.  She is alone.  

But then she realizes that she isn't alone.  Christ knows.  He knows everything. She pours out her heart to Him.  How tired she is.  How much it hurts.  How the burden feels too heavy. And the next day, things don't feel quite so heavy.  And that is how she gets through the darkness and the difficulty...by pouring out her heart in prayer ar night and allowing Him to lighten the burden.  

When her son is 12, they are asked to participate in a 4 year study of adolescents with diabetes.  She has to fill out a questionnaire. She gets stuck on one question:  If you knew it meant you would have to give up all of the learning, would you choose to never have had your child diagnosed with diabetes?  She can't answer it.  The social worker says she can just initial the question and move on, but she is determined to figure out the answer.  Her son has become so empathetic. He has learned to "be strong and of a good courage" (Joshua 1:9).  They have both learned to rely on Christ.  And she decides that no, she would not be willing to give up the learning even if it meant that her son could be disease free.  The learning was too valuable. (page 61-63)

Lessons Learned:  Our trials and adversity shape us.

When life is dark, turn to the Light of the World.

We learn through experience.  

We are never alone.