The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

And I'm far from perfect. Especially when I'm as tired as I am right now. I really hope that it is just the beginning of a new school year and not enough sleep. And that it's been pretty emotional. Gabby has cried nearly every day that I've dropped her off for school. She gets in line before the bell rings and seems happy to be at school. Then the bell rings and her teacher comes out and she smiles and starts to walk toward the door...and then she stops, grabs onto my leg and cries softly and asks me to take her to my school and not to leave her. Every morning I have to drag her to her locker, put her backpack away and then remove her from my leg and hand her over to her teacher. It's painful. It wasn't like this with my other two at all. She ends up liking school and she says she has friends. She must be okay once I leave because her Spanish teacher selected her as the Student of the Week this week. But boy it's exhausting and emotionally draining for me...and it means that I only make it to my school 10 minutes before the bell rings each day. It makes for terrible, horrible, no good, very bad mornings. I think we should move to Australia.

This morning as I was driving, I was not paying as close attention as I should have and hit a curb and shredded my tire. I have never done anything like that before. It happened right as I was getting on the freeway...and I could tell pretty quickly that I wasn't going to make it far...so had to pull over and sure enough my tire was ruined. My kids began to cry because they were going to be late for school. I was shaking. I called Alfredo and he came and gave me his car and changed the tire and took my car... this wasn't an easy feat because the spare tire is stored under the van, not in the trunk, and even with help from a wonderful incident management guy it took them nearly an hour to get it all taken care of. My kids were late. I was late. It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad way to start the morning. It wouldn't have happened if I were vacationining in Australia.

There was more bad news after school. A faculty meeting with bad news. Terrible, horrible, no good, very bad news (okay so not that terrible. No one died or lost their jobs. But I'm sticking with my theme here. :))

Then this evening, I came home and began cleaning and cooking and I watched my friend's kids. I mowed the lawn. I seriously must be stressed because I come home from work and look forward to mowing the lawn...I mowed the front lawn on Wednesday and the back lawn tonight. Alfredo said he'd do it tomorrow, but I begged him to let me. Not only that but I can hardly stand the thought of cooking dinner, but I have baked cookies and have been dying to make zuchini bread. I rarely come home from work and bake.

Then at 9 PM tonight, I glanced at my caller ID and saw that the missionaries had called. And then it hit me. Not only did I ruin my tire and cause my whole family stress this morning...but I was supposed to take dinner to the missionaries tonight. Alfredo wasn't going to be home, so we couldn't have them over for dinner, but I was going to drop dinner off. And with everything that went on this week, I totally forgot. See. Far from perfect. Thank goodness tomorrow is a new day. Maybe with a little sleep and a 3 day weekend, I can get a grip and stop craving baked goods and lawn mowing. Maybe my brain will start to function properly again. I sure hope so. I can't handle many more terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days.

I love this quote I saw on Facebook..."On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100%. And that's pretty good." This too will pass. Tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow I will be better. (And if it's not, I'm definitely moving to Australia.)

But some days are like that. Even in Australia.

*Post is loosely based on the book Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst. However, it is not fictionalized. These events really ocurred. (But I recognize that really it wasn't that terrible or horrible...not a good day, but I know that I am still very blessed and should stop complaining.)

The Best We Can

My dear friend Pam posted a quote to my Facebook wall on Saturday morning that said, "Reading won't solve all your problems. But then again, neither will housework." At the top of the picture/quote, she wrote, "For Jenny, who somehow gets it all done. And makes it look easy." Such a nice comment, but not really true. I looked around my very messy house and knew that I don't get it all done. And it certainly isn't easy. Then after I got off Facebook, fed my kids (cold cereal) and took a shower, I headed to the grocery store. As I was checking out, the cashier commented to another cashier that she felt discouraged. She said that her neighbors' kids seem to be perfect, their houses all seem to be clean all the time, and they all do cutesy things and their kids do chores without complaining and her kids were whining about having to do chores because they'd been back to school for 3 days and "never get a break." When she began ringing up my items, she asked if I had kids. I told her yes, and I said that few of us (if any) are as perfect as we might seem from the outside looking in. We're all just trying to do the best we can. Some of us maybe appear better at juggling many balls than others but we're all dropping some balls and none of us has perfect kids or are perfect parents. And that's okay, as long as we're doing the best we can. I hope my words helped, at least a little bit. I've been reflecting on this ever since.

Sometimes I think that my friends and particularly my coworkers have ridiculously high opinions of me. I had to laugh a couple of days ago when I was wearing a skirt and a coworker asked if I sewed it. I laughed and said, "No, I don't sew." She said, "Well, you're so good at so many things that I thought maybe you sewed too." No. No I don't. I don't sew. I don't garden (well, not really, but I am getting tomatoes this year and a few peppers... not enough to be giving away to others...only a tomato every 3-4 days, but still...tomatoes are growing...this is seriously a huge success for me.) I don't do crafts. I don't sing or play an instrument. I do teach. I do cook pretty well. I do keep my house relatively clean (but not my car! It's embarrassing.)

I am doing the best I can. Sometimes my best is pretty good. And sometimes my best is pretty lousy. Sometimes I cook a great breakfast, pack my kids lunches, iron their clothes the night before, cook a healthy dinner, help with reading and piano and violin and I'm even patient and forgiving and read them a story before bed and kiss them good night. But many times while I may still complete many of those tasks (although honestly, most of the time, 2 meals a day is my limit and my kids usually eat school lunch), I am far too often impatient, cranky and tired. I do know that when I am consistently taking care of the most important things (scripture study, prayer, getting sleep...this is a hard one for me sometimes..., making some time to read or blog, attending the temple, serving others), then my capabilities are enlarged. My best becomes better. My juggling improves and I don't drop so many balls (or get as frustrated with myself or my family when the balls do drop). When I focus on what matters most, my perspective shifts and I see clearly who I am, what I am capable of, and how precious my children are and I'm better able to show that through my actions. But I am no super hero. I am perfectly human just like every other good mother I know. But I feel confident that some day my children will grow and become mothers and do the best they can. They will recognize that they are imperfect, and that I am too. They will understand that I did the best I could and I will be able to tell them that it is enough. My best is enough, and your best is enough too. It isn't easy, but it isn't meant to be easy. We don't learn anything from easy. We learn from stretching. We learn from tossing one more ball into the air than we think we might be able to juggle. We learn from trying, day after day after day to do our best. Then we forgive ourselves (and each other) for the balls we drop and recognize that we aren't professional jugglers but that we're improving. We are growing. And sometimes we recognize that we have added too many balls. Maybe we can juggle three but not four and so we do some self examination and remove something from our lives. And we try, oh we try, not to look at how many balls others are juggling and determine our worthiness based on their juggling skills. Because our best really is good enough. We are good enough.

(In an effort at full disclosure I must admit that I don't actually juggle at all. Can't even keep two balls in the air. This was all metaphorical. I can juggle a lot of responsibilities, but I am as clumsy as can be and juggling is not among my talents.)

Scales and Tails

On Monday Aug. 12, we went to the West Valley library because Scales and Tails was there. The presenter named Austin showed us a variety of animals.

He showed a scorpion and asked how you can tell if a scorpion is poisonous or not. Then he popped it inside his mouth. He did explain that this is a good and bad method. On the one hand, you'll know very quickly if it's poisonous...but if it is, you'll only get to perform that test once. Then he explained that a scorpion that isn't poisonous will have large claws so it can rip grasshoppers and other insects apart. Poisonous scorpions have small claws...they use the poison to kill their prey.

Then he showed us some snakes. The first one was a python from Africa. I think it was called a sand python but I can't remember for sure. It was tiny and buries in the sand. The second snake was much, much bigger. They scared Gabby a little bit.

I really should have blogged about this sooner, because I really can't remember the cool facts he shared about each animal. We saw some lizards. We saw an alligator (which he said never, ever makes a good pet.) We saw a tortoise. SOme of the little, little kids even got to ride on the tortoise. At the end everyone was allowed to touch a few of the animals. We all enjoyed it. Scales and Tails always puts on a good show and shares great information.

First Day of School Photos

With 3 kids in school, and this being Gabby's first year...and with all the changes made to Jackson over the summer, I went a little crazy taking photos on the first day (technically Gabby's second day but her first day without parents and her first full day.)

Gabby had a rough morning. She cried in the car on the way...her socks didn't feel good. Her shoes didn't feel good. She was nervous. Then she calmed down and happily took photos. Her sisters left to go line up but there was still almost 10 minutes until the bell rang. So Gabby played and played and asked me to snap pictures. I happily obliged her, even though part of me was anxious to get to my own school for my first day.

But then it was time to line up and go inside with her teacher. She got scared and began to cry. She begged to go to my school with me. She grabbed onto my leg and wouldn't let go. I needed to leave and she needed to go in... So I peeled her off my leg and handed her over to her teacher. I prayed for all of my children, but especially Gabby, as I drove to my own school. Thankfully, they all had a good first day. And thankfully, Michelle is a good big sister. After school they had to go to Northwest Community Center since their after school program doesn't start until this Wednesday. Gabby was terrified because she'd never gone before. So Michelle went to the kindergarten class with her and stayed with her until I got there to pick them up. But other than that, Gabby loved her first day. So did Ella. Michelle liked it too. Let's hope the rest of the year goes as well or better. Sure do love these beautiful girls!

Back to School Night

Gabby started a day earlier than the girls. On August 20, the kindergarteners had orientation for 2 1/2 hours. They attend with their parents and meet their teachers and the teachers answer questions and explain procedures and have some fun activities for the kids to do. So Gabby went with her dad to orientation. She liked her teacher, Mrs. Dunn. Mrs. Dunn gave her cookies. Alfredo felt like the orientation was not that useful to him/us since we already have two kids in dual immersion.)

The girls' school had Back to School Night on August 20, the night before school started. That was nice because we didn't know Ella's teacher or Gabby's teachers. Although it turns out that Gabby's Spanish teacher is a teacher I worked with at another school a decade ago. Jackson has a new principal and vice principal. The principal is Ella's friend Zoe's mom. She had been the vice principal. She is great! She and the vice principal have worked hard this summer. They put in benches, added a shade area to the school garden, painted the school inside and painted murals outside, and put up huge signs. The sign in back says "Jackson Cougars" on the fence. The sign in front says "Where Cougars Roar + Students Soar" (and it is translated into Spanish as well.)

There was a barbecue outside and then we headed in to meet the teachers. Here's Ella with her teacher, Mr. Gosain:

Here is Michelle with her teacher, Mrs. Woodring. I apologize that the photos of Ella and Michelle are so poor.

Here's Gabby with her English teacher, Mrs. Dunn. We didn't get a picture with her Spanish teacher, Ms. Garcia. Ms. Garcia was busy talking to a bunch of parents. I did get to talk to her at the barbecue before hand though.

We also made our traditional teacher survival kit for back to school. The girls each gave the gift to their teachers at Back to School Night.

Letter to Gabrielle as You Begin Kindergarten

My darling Gabby girl,

I truly can't believe you are five already and beginning kindergarten. How did this happen? You're my baby girl who is growing up way too fast.


You are (were) excited and nervous for school. It is your first time going to school every day, all day. You don't know any of the kids who will be in your class. You don't know your teachers. I can understand your nervousness. But your first day went well. By your reports, you made friends with all of the girls and one of the boys. I have no doubt that you will make friends. You are good at making friends.

You are my silly girl. You love to sing and dance, but you don't like an audience. You are so talkative around those you know, but quiet and reserved around those you don't know. You have the most expressive facial expressions. You know what you like and what you don't like. (Although I wish you liked more foods right now. You used to be such a good eater and lately you are so P.I.C.K.Y.!)

There are so many things I love about you. I love your smile. I love how you tell me often that you love me. I love watching you play with your sisters, your friends and also by yourself. I love how you still curl up in your daddy's lap or my lap and snuggle. I love your curly, darling hair. It is so cute...and sometimes so crazy. You sometimes resemble Albert Einstein a little bit. But it's darling.

Your sisters, your mom and your dad adore you. I am sad to send you off to school because it means you are growing too fast. But I'm also thrilled for the new experiences you will have. Soon you will be reading. You will be speaking more and more Spanish. (Or so we hope. After your first full day, you reported that in Spanish class, "I had NO idea WHAT she was talking about." But that night you did "read" a book to me in (invented) Spanish so that's a good sign.)
You will make new friends. You will have wonderful teachers that will love and adore you and will have a positive impact on your life. I think it is a wonderful thing for you to have teachers and other adults that are role models for you, and I'm thankful that the teachers at Jackson are that kind of teachers. You will have field trips and assemblies and do art projects and learn so many things. Learning is a wonderful, exciting thing that will bless your life. I'm so happy for you that you are about to embark on your formal education. I love you so very much and I am proud of you!

Love,
Mommy

Letter to Michelle as she begins 5th Grade

My dear Michelle,

I can hardly believe that you are beginning fifth grade. Not to embarrass you, but it seems like just yesterday you were starting kindergarten with your hair short and wearing a Dora backpack.


Now your hair is long, and you are turning into a beautiful young woman.

I am so proud of you. I am proud of how responsible you are becoming. This summer you learned how to mow the lawn. You are becoming a wonderful pianist and violinist. I know that requires a lot of effort and practice. You have also been so helpful when we've had others young children over. You are even responsible enough to stay home alone for short periods of time. On the first day of school, Gabby was very nervous and scared about going to Northwest after school. Instead of going to your class, you stayed with her to help her feel safe and happy. You are a great big sister.

I love to see you outside riding your bike or your scooter. Ever since you were little, you have been full of energy. I hope you continue to run, bike and play. You are graceful and energetic, and you aren't the least bit clumsy like I am.

You have an eye for detail. You notice things. You have specific ideas about how you like things decorated and what looks good together and what doesn't. I've noticed how you try hard to keep your bedroom clean now. You like organization.

Perhaps most important of all is you are kind to others. You are a good friend, and a great big sister. Your testimony is growing and you try to make good choices.

I am so pleased with the girl you are becoming. I know that you will have a great year in fifth grade. When things are challenging, remember: "I can do hard things." Because you can! You are a hard worker. You are respectful and responsible. You are intelligent. Enjoy fifth grade!

Love,
Mom

Letter to Mirielle as you begin 3rd Grade

My dear Mirielle,

How did you get so big? Third grade! One of my favorite grades. I am so excited for you...we've heard great things about your teacher, Mr. Gosain, and you loved your first day. I feel certain it is going to be a great year.


Sweet Ella. You are so tender hearted. You love and feel deeply. That is such a strength and a challenge. I feel confident that as you learn to use these deep emotions in constructive ways, you will touch many lives. You will develop deep empathy and compassion for others. You are already well on your way to doing so.

You are turning into such a great girl. You are a wonderful reader. You have a great desire to do what is right. You love young children and babies. In many ways, you remind me of me. You are definitely my daughter. :) Some times we butt heads, but I always love you and I always want what is best for you. I am not a perfect parent, but my love for you is infinite.

This summer, you have enjoyed playing with friends. You have loved playing Minecraft. You've spent time practicing piano, and your piano playing is improving. This school year you are hoping to learn a lot of science. I hope you will learn to love reading as much as I do. I hope you will continue to practice piano and become more skilled at piano. I hope you will continue to have a desire to live the gospel and share your testimony with others. You often ask if you can teach or help teach Family Home Evening. You help me to be more consistent at family prayers and family home evenings. Thank you.

I like this quote: "A daughter is the happy memories of the past, the joyful moments of the present, and the hope and promise of the future." ~Author Unknown
You have brought me happy memories, you do bring me many joyful moments, and I know your future is bright. In fact, when I see the goodness of your sisters and you, I feel confident the future of the world is bright. I love you so very much!

Love,
Mom

After the party

After Gabby's party was over and her friends had gone home, she began playing happily with her new toys. She was so happy and content that I snapped a few pictures of her. Look at her smile!

Gabby Turns 5!!

My sweet baby girl is not a baby anymore. Last Sunday, she turned 5. This coming week, she starts kindergarten.

What happened to this cute little toddler?



She turned into this darling big girl:


Gabby invited the children from her primary class plus a few close friends of the family to join her for her party on Saturday. The party had a clown theme.

Alfredo made darling clowns for each child to take home at the end. (I helped, but the idea and most of the work was his.)


We played some games. First, we did a relay where they had to walk up to a chair and back with a balloon between their legs. It made them walk silly, like a clown.


Then we played "Doggy, doggy where's your bone?" (I know it has nothing to do with clowns, but Gabby likes the game... and so did her friends.)


Then we had another relay race. This time the kids had to run over, put on "clown" clothes (giant glasses, my shoes, one of my shirts, and a silly hat), then take them off and race back. The first team to have everyone take a turn was the winner. (Both teams finished seconds apart.) Michelle and Ella helped the kids get the clothes on.


Then Gabby was very anxious to open presents. Each friend handed their present to her, and she happily opened them.


Finally, we had cake and ice cream, children chose their clowns, and then they played until they were picked up. Super fun birthday!!



On Sunday, her actual birthday, my family (Suzy, my dad, my Aunt Elaine and Uncle Phil) came over for dinner. (We had kebabs, grilled corn, and grilled pineapple, then of course cake and ice cream.) Somehow I neglected to get my camera out that evening. But we had a nice time visiting and Gabby enjoyed opening a few more presents and having us sing "Happy Birthday" to her again.

Oh how, I love that darling 5 year old girl!!