I've been planning to pose this question for over a week now. We had a discussion about chores during book club and I've been thinking about it since. One person in my book club started reading a book about parenting. It had a list of responsibilities or chores that kids should be able to complete independently at different ages. She thought some of their expectations were pretty high or perhaps unreasonable. For example, one was that a 3 year old should be able to make his/her bed alone and should be able to make a PB&J sandwich alone. I have a 3 year old and she can't/doesn't make her bed and I wouldn't want her to make PB&J by herself... peanut butter and jelly would be everywhere. Plus she can't get the twist tie off the bread by herself. However, we do expect our kids to get dressed, put their dishes in the sink when they are done eating, pick up their toys, brush their hair (with help), put on socks and shoes, and help with other tasks when asked. I feel like these are reasonable expectations. Alfredo sometimes thinks they should be doing more.
So, my question is: what responsibilities or chores do your children have? How old are they and what do they have to do? Or what do you think are reasonable expectations for a 3 year old and a 5 year old?
We keep all the kids dishes (plastic Ikea awesomeness) in a drawer rather than a cupboard so they can help empty the dishwasher. And this past weekend they swept AND mopped for the first time ever. Without being asked. The floors looked awesome!
ReplyDeleteMy kids are responsible for their own space... PERIOD. Whether it be in their bedroom, at the kitchen table or in the playroom. They are responsible for cleaning up the messes they make. Of course, this doesn't ALWAYS happen and I do often help a little to speed up the process, but they know the rule - they get it out - they put it away. Tylan (at age 3) already knows to clear his plate after dinner and doesn't even need to be asked. Xaria's one "chore" outside of that rule is that she is to empty the shoe basket once a week and put shoes away. Between the two of them, I haven't had to set the table for dinnertime for over a month. They are my "table helpers"! Bottom line... you know your kids and know what expectations are appropriate for them. Each kid is different, but as long as you give them some responsibilities as part of the family, they grow up understanding responsibility (in my HUMBLE opinion)!
ReplyDeleteI bet a 3 year old could make a bed in some way--maybe pulling up the covers and putting the pillow at the head of the bed. I'm sure there are lots of other chores you could try, too. It's worth a try!
ReplyDeleteWell, my kids are a bit older than yours, well, a lot older, but since they were old enought to really BE a help, they have been doing little things. Not necessarlily "set" chores, but definately helping around the house.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure Ash has been using the clorox wipes to wipe down the bathroom AT LEAST since Kindergarten, posibly earlier. She's been helping load and unload the dishwasher (like tupperware, small pans, silverwear)since about 3ish. Making her own sandwiches since about 3 and cereal since about 4. She's also been making her own bed (not from scratch) just pulling up the covers, putting on stuffed animals, that kind of thing. since about 3.
Now that she's older (she's almost 8) her favorite chores are scrubbing the bathroom, vacuuming, and using the swiffer.
I think that the best time to start letting your children do chores is when YOU are ready! I don't think kids are EVER too young to start doing little things. And, I think a little chart to entice good behavior is also great- With a small reward at the end of the chart like going to the dollar store or something like that.
And lastly, I do what "Shannon" does, my kids are responsible for their own bedrooms. I don't clean my kids' rooms EVER. I will help, but I won't do it for them.
I hope that helps!
Good luck
It seems like what to expect depends a lot on the child, but we've had (Mostly) good results with the following:
ReplyDeleteSarah ( 3 1/2) empties the silverware caddy (I put away the sharp knives, then stay nearby cleaning other parts of the kitchen. Inevitably she gets "tired" (at 9am), so I help her out and hand her a few groups of forks or spoons to get her rolling again.
She's also my "dustpan girl"- I sweep, she holds the dustpan as the contents are delivered, then she dumps them in the trash.
For meals,we get down the plates and napkins, then E &S set the table the rest of the way, and load their dishes into the dishwasher after each meal.
I also have them put away their clean folded clothes (which ends up with them unfolded half the time), but it's all about what direction they're headed, right?
thanks for your comments. i have my kids help with lots of other things from time to time (sweeping, mopping, helping with the baby, loading the dishwasher, etc). I mostly feel pretty good about their set chores, although maybe I should make them more responsible for their own bedroom. they are pretty good about helping me clean their room but when they do it themselves, i don't feel like it actually gets clean. just wondering what other people do. still not letting ella or either of them make her own sandwiches/meals. it's easier for me to do it and not have to deal with the mess!
ReplyDeleteand while they can probably make their beds, our mornings are hectic enough that i'm not adding that to the mix right now. getting myself and 3 children out the door by 7:30 in the morning with all of us fed, dressed, hair done (okay, a lot of days Janene does Ella's hair and Gabrielle's doesn't need much yet, but still!) and all of our stuff ready (lunches, milk for Gabrielle, backpacks, homework, my pump and accessories, my schoolwork, etc) is enough. i don't even make my own bed most mornings. and i do a lot of the morning prep work the night before but it still takes me 2-3 trips to the car to get it all out there and despite my attempts to be ready early and be organized it doesn't always happen. the baby gets a bad dirty diaper seconds before we're going to leave or breakfast is spilled on clothes we've just put on or some other thing happens to slow us down.
I feel like I should spill the beans about something:
ReplyDeletemy kids NEVER make their beds in the morning. I do try to do mine each day, but there are times when I don't get it done. Mainly, I feel like if my bed is made, I've done something for the day. The other reason I try really hard to make mine, is that the preschoolers come down the hall from time to time, and if my bedroom door is open and my bed isn't made, they always make a comment about how my room is messy.
But NO, my kids never make their beds in the morning. It's a task that usually ONLY happens when they clean their rooms. Sometimes I wonder why we buy cute bedding, when it's always crunched up at the bottom of the bed.
Jenny,
ReplyDeleteI don't blame you for the meal thing! I don't know that I'll ever have my kids make their own meal. I cringe sometimes when Cody does and he's 15.. the mess is too much for me, too! And... we started out the school year with a "make your bed" chore, but it became too much of a hassle... now Mike or I takes care of that chore!
Interesting post.
ReplyDeleteMax can now make his bed pretty good, but that took a lot of coaching for it to look decent (and he is VERY proud of it). He can clean up toys and wash walls and baseboards. He likes to mop, but not the way I want him to:). Come to think of it I haven't every really had him unload the dishwasher, I should probably teach him that. He likes to help me with the laundry. Quite honestly it takes a lot of bribery to get him to do the basics so we tend to keep it simple for him(pick-up toys, clear dishes, etc).
Annie on the other hand is such a good little worker. She can pretty much do anything I ask her to and is at the age that she can do it really well!! She is currently obsessed with vacuuming the stairs, which I hate to do so it works out so nice for me.
I think it really all just depends on the kid and how much you want to put up with. I think that there is a delicate time frame where they want to help with things that they aren't really good at but the practice is beneficial, however, I would have them "practice" with window washing over something like PB & J's:)