One of the most defining moments of my life was giving birth naturally. I have never considered myself that courageous or strong. I am not athletic and I am not a thrill seeker. I don't like pain.
When I got pregnant with my first baby, Michelle, I really wanted to deliver naturally. But I had a very long, exhausting delivery with back labor the whole time and I wasn't progressing. They ended up putting me on pitocin and I got an epidural. I was disappointed but mostly really glad that she was here and healthy.
When I was pregnant with Ella, I was hoping that maybe I could deliver naturally. The day after her due date, I saw my OB. I was dilated to a 2 1/2 which was fantastic and he said it could happen any day...but if I hadn't had her by the following Wednesday (6 days after her due date) then he would induce me. I went from the doctor's office to the grocery store and bought a lot of groceries (back then I would buy nearly everything I'd need for a month...and then just go a couple of weeks later and buy the perishable items we needed.) I started having contractions but figured that I probably just overdid it at the grocery store. I went home, put away the perishable groceries and decided to lay down. The contractions didn't stop, but they weren't lasting very long and weren't really painful. I tried to call my neighbor/visiting teacher who said she would stay with Michelle while I delivered Ella but got no answer. Alfredo and I both dozed off. I woke up a little after 10 PM (maybe 10:10 or 10:15) and the contractions were much stronger. I woke Alfredo and told him we better head to the hospital. We called my visiting teacher and it took her about 10 minutes to come over. When she arrived, I stood up and walked a few steps and told Alfredo we weren't going any where. He called 911 and they asked if my water had broken. He turned to ask me and my water broke. Julie, my visiting teacher, stayed near me and helped keep me calm and breathing while Alfredo ran around grabbing towels and a shoelace and the items the dispatcher told him to grab. The police arrived. Then the paramedics and fire fighters. And then seconds after the paramedics arrived, Ella was born (at about 10:45). She was healthy and they loaded us into the ambulance to take us to the hospital. The hospital ride was pure torture for me...even the smallest of bumps felt agonizing...and I must have gone into shock because I was shivering uncontrollably. And I'm fairly certain the paramedic had never delivered a baby before. He kept asking how much longer until we made it to the hospital. He also kept pushing, trying to deliver the placenta and that was incredibly painful. I honestly thought I might die in the ambulance. Alfredo was worried that I might as well because the paramedic seemed so worried. We made it to the hospital and a nurse came in and delivered the placenta almost immediately and I felt a thousand times better. So much better. And Ella nursed well and I felt better than after my labor with Michelle and everything just felt so great. And I felt so incredibly strong that I delivered her naturally. It was a very empowering experience. A year later I needed to get my wisdom teeth out and I just had them numb the area but not put me under or give me laughing gas. I figured if I could give birth naturally then I could handle getting two wisdom teeth out. There have been a number of times since then that when I thought something felt hard or scary, I would think..."Hey I've delivered a baby naturally at my house. I can do this." (I've delivered naturally twice now...Gabby was also delivered naturally at the hospital.)
LESSONS LEARNED: I'm stronger than I sometimes think I am.
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