One of my college roommates, Kristy, got married a couple of years before I did. And it wasn't necessarily an easy adjustment. I remember a couple of years after I had gotten married (also finding it wasn't an easy adjustment) that she shared some advice with me. She said that marriage is a lot like getting a stained-glass window. You have this image in mind of what it's going to look like. How beautiful it will be. But then the artist comes and installs the stained glass window...and the design is something completely different than the design you had in mind. It's not what you expected. At that point, you have a choice. You can get rid of the stained glass window...decide it's not for you, it's not what you signed up for, it's not what you imagined. You can keep the stained glass window but resent that it is so different from what you expected and feel cheated and upset and be miserable. You can spend your life noticing all the flaws in that window and all the ways it doesn't measure up to your vision of what the stained glass window should be. Or you can recognize that it isn't quite what you had expected or imagined...and yet it is incredibly beautiful. It enriches your home and your life and you can be thankful for it. You can strive to see the beauty and goodness inherent in it.
LESSONS LEARNED: It has been years since this advice was given, but I have always remembered it. I haven't always been great at following this counsel. But whenever I think of it, I try a little harder to strengthen my marriage and to be grateful for the beautiful blessings my imperfect marriage and my imperfect husband have brought to this very imperfect woman.
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